The Light

Two-3

On my back I carried my school bag, emptied of books, now full of clothes from my suitcase. I balanced my purse on the small roller bag I dragged down the interstate. Both had been emptied of much of their prior contents, and now contained the necessities, as Blaise and Josh had insisted on. I had pulled on the only pair of jeans I had, over the thin leggings. I traded my heeled boots for running shoes, and found a forgotten running jacket stuffed in the back of my trunk. Everyone else had a coat. It had been freezing when we left New York, but I refused to take mine partly because I was in an obstinate mood and partly because I was already thinking of the warm Florida Thanksgiving we were going to bask in.

It was supposed to be a relaxing trip. We were taking Sara away to help her forget about her latest short-lived relationship, but I knew it was also to get me away from Trent. None of my friends liked him, and I couldn’t blame them.

As for Trent, he believed he was a catch. And on the outside he was. He was rich, handsome, well-connected, well-educated, driven, and intelligent. But on the inside he was mean, self-absorbed, judgmental, and borderline abusive. Some stay in unhealthy relationships because they don’t see the unhealth. I stayed because I did and knew I deserved it.

Trent had asked me to go skiing with him for Thanksgiving. Sara made a plea that she needed to get away and wanted to go to Florida. Blaise and Josh agreed a trip to Florida would be just the thing to help Sara. Trent tried to get me to choose him over my friends. It turned into a fight, and in the end he decided to go with some friends to Las Vegas because he knew it would hurt me. I detested the friends he was going with. I knew exactly what they were going to do when they were in “sin city” and I hated them for it. I felt anger rise and burn my cheeks. I deserve very little because I bring very little. I know this, and Trent reminded me often. Even so, I believe in monogamy and that much I did bring and did deserve.

I took a deep breath. How much of that mattered now? Trent had probably landed an hour before the light flashed. Had there been a light on the West Coast as well? If so, Las Vegas would’ve been hit. How would Trent survive in the desert, in the winter, where food and water basically have to be bussed in? How would anyone?

I reached for my phone in my back pocket; I wanted to call him to see if he was okay. As my hand touched it, I remembered what I had forgotten. It didn’t work, nothing worked. As stupid as it was, I couldn’t bring myself to leave my phone behind. None of us could. Though none of us said it, we each hoped that somehow they would work again. That somehow we were overestimating the seriousness of the situation and our phones could be fixed. The pit in my stomach told me that, if anything, we were underestimating the seriousness of the situation.

I turned to look at my car. It had been swallowed by the darkness.