The Ganeswolf

A werewolfs tale: Luther

The Blue Moon Ceremony is here again. I love and hate this ceremony. It will always be a reminder of Kimi. The pack is busy getting the ceremony planned out. I allow the pack members to handle the details of the ceremony each year. The only change I have ever made is the location that the ceremony takes place in. I have never allowed it to take place in the spot that was mine and Kimi's. That section of the pack lands have been off limits to the rest of the pack ever since the night I f****d Kimi. It is my place and mine alone. I take Max there often to run. He will not exercise in any other part of the pack lands. None of the pack knows the importance of that spot for me. They don't know that Max can still smell her there all these years later. It's the only place that brings my wolf happiness and that he will talk to me with out being forced to. 

I don't know why I can't let her go. Max still refuses to say her name or talk of her. He is still angry at me over costing him his mate Mia. He tells me all the time that I have cost us the family he has always wanted. One time in his anger he flashed pictures of pups in my head and told me those would have been ours and our mates had I not screwed it all up. I know that my wolf doesn't like me. It's ok. I don't like Max much these days either. He whined after our bond was broken with our mate. He didn't talk to me for a few weeks after Kimi and Mia's death. He knows I set the events in place that brought about their death. Max wanted me to go and ask for her to forgive me and beg her to be our mate again. 

Once I take Sage as our mate and he gets to mate with her wolf he will forgive me. I am ready to feel the strength of my strong wolf again. In his anger Max ignores me. If we do not interact as one then I am deprived of the strength that comes from him. 

He doesn't realize that all of these years and all of the sacrifices I have made are for us. Not me, but us. With out the strength from our were-wolf side all of the losses and sacrifices would be for nothing. I am only strong as a human because of him. We need a powerful mate by our side. That was not Kimi. I know now that I was wrong. I thought Kimi was an Omega. It wasn't until after our bond was severed that I realized she was Alpha Logan Greystones daughter. In my haste to reject her I had screwed up. I  had seen her around the pack grounds cleaning and helping. I made the immediate assumption that she was an Omega. She should have been an Omega. Alphas daughters do not help. They give orders. They run the pack. If I had led the pack that night on the ceremonial run after they had shifted I would have saw her Alpha blood showing thru. My anger when I first saw who my mate was prevented me from seeing that she was exactly what we had been begging the Moon Goddess to give us. I want to be the most powerful were wolf I can be. I have watched other Alpha were-wolves loose their packs time and time again due to being to soft to take the power they need tp stay the strongest. With strength other beings leave you alone.