Luna Catalina (ENG)

Chapter 12

The first 5 minutes of the drive were very uncomfortable. Kayden was clearly tense, gripping the steering wheel tightly and not taking his eyes off the road for a second. I tried to avoid looking at him, staring out of the window at the scenery. Lily, on the other hand, was delighted. Her innocent mind didn't pick up on the tension in the air, so she talked animatedly about our plans for the day. 

-“Cat, do you want to play the game of a thousand questions?" said Lily animatedly from her seat. 

-“What game is that?" I said, turning to look at her.

-“Well, I ask you questions and you answer," Lily said as if it was obvious. 

-“And can I ask you things too?" I asked.

-“No, because in the thousand questions game it's only me who can ask the questions," said Lily.

I laughed in amusement and agreed. I noticed Kayden looking at me for the first time since we got in the car. I thought I saw curiosity in his eyes, but he quickly looked away. 

-"Favorite color?"

- "Blue."

- "Favorite food?

- "Spanish omelette."

- "Favorite dessert?

- "Cheesecake" - 

For another 20 minutes Lily asked me every question imaginable. She wanted to know everything. Gradually, the questions got more and more serious. 

-“Would you like to have pups?”

-“Mmmm..." -I hesitated to answer. Lily wasn't aware, but behind her question there were others that I didn't have an answer for myself. – “I suppose so," I finally answered.

-“How many?”

-“I think three is a good number," I wanted to change the subject as soon as possible.

-“Three as Kay, Bela and me, and you and your brothers," Lily said with a smile.

-I have two more brothers,Lily," I replied, delighted by the change of subject. –“They are the Alpha and Beta of my pack.”

-“You have four brothers?! No sisters?" Lily's eyes were wide, she looked horrified. 

-“Can you imagine having three more brothers like Kayden?" I asked, laughing. 

-“Noooo how awful!" exclaimed Lily in horror. 

-“What do you mean, what horror?" Kayden protested with an indignant look on his face, though I could see a slight smile on his face. -Should we go back home right now?

-"Nono," Lily said quickly, "I want ten siblings like you," Kayden nodded in satisfaction. “And your other siblings live here too?" she said, looking back at me.

-“In America, you mean?" Lily nodded, "We all live here, yes.”

-“”here are you from?" she asked curiously.

-“I'm from Spain, do you know where that is?" Lily shook her head, tossing her curls back and forth. –“Well, it's a long way from here. When you're older I'll take you there, you'll see what a beautiful place it is," I said with a smile. I can't wait to go back home, and I wouldn't mind taking Lily with me. 

-“And why did you come to America?" asked Lily with innocent curiosity. 

My stomach lurched in knots. It had been over ten years, but neither my siblings nor I talked about what had happened. They were memories that all of us had tried to erase from our memories. 

-“There was a war, and my brothers and I had to leave," I said, choosing my words carefully. 

-“What about your parents?" asked Lily, saddened. 

-“They died in the war," I said. I could feel the tears coming, and I blinked quickly to hold them back. 

Kayden looked at me. I could see undisguised pity in his eyes. Lily looked like she was about to ask more questions, but Kayden was quicker and handed her his mobile.

-“Why don't you put on some music Lily," Kayden said. 

I thanked him by bowing my head and curled up in my seat. For the rest of the ride, only Lily talked, while I looked out the window and Kayden drove in silence. 

We finally arrived to the village. We parked and looked for Ian and Cas. During the morning we visited the village and the shops. It was a quiet and lively morning. We were all relaxed and enjoying the day. Even Kayden seemed to be enjoying himself. We ate at a nice restaurant near the beach. The food was great, and the atmosphere was super lively. 

After lunch, we went for a walk down to the beach. Lily was encouraged to go for a swim. Kayden was looking after her all the time, but he treated her with a love and patience that I had never seen in him before. It was good to see Kayden out of his pack, he seemed like a different person: relaxed, smiling and happy. Seeing Kayden like that made my heart race. This Kayden was a completely different Kayden to the one he had shown me this week, was this the real Kayden?

After the walk we went up to the promenade, where there was a fair and rides. We wandered around the different stalls. Lily, Cas and I bought candy floss and watched as Kayden and Ian tried to win a teddy bear for Lily in an aiming game. After three failed attempts, Cas and I burst out laughing. 

-“Do you guys think you can do better or what?" Ian asked irritably.

-“No doubt about it," Cas said with a smile. 

-“I'd like to see it," Ian said, taking the candy floss from Cas's hand and dragging Cas away. 

Kayden held out his hand, looking at my candy floss and I gave it to him. I walked over to Cas and analyzed the game. It consisted of smashing glass bottles with a gun. To get the prize you had to hit all 10 bottles. You had 12 bullets. Cas and I started shooting. Lily cheered us on happily. We both hit all 10 bottles, winning two teddy bears. We smiled teasingly at Kayden and Ian, as we handed the bears to Lily, who was beside herself with joy. 

-“Lily, Kayden and I are going to go on the rollercoaster," said Ian, "Are you guys coming?”

-“Oh Cat's not coming," said Cas with a laugh, "She's scared of rollercoasters.”

-“So the fearsome head of the army, who isn't afraid of anything, is afraid of rollercoasters. Unbelievable."- Kayden had a smirk from ear to ear. Asshole. 

-“I'm not scared of them, I just don't like them, which is not the same thing," I said, shooting Kayden a murderous glare, "But I'll be happy to wait for you here," I said, leaning against a railing. 

-“Kay, I think you should stay and keep an eye on Cat," said Lily, looking at Cas and Ian in amusement.

-“I totally agree, let's go Lily!" said Ian grabbing Lily in one hand and Cas in the other. 

I couldn't believe what had just happened. A 7-year-old girl had teamed up with my best friend to try and get me to spend time with my mate. If I told anyone, they wouldn't believe me. I sighed and turned on the railing, to face the sea. I closed my eyes and breathed in the wonderful smell of the sea. I noticed Kayden leaning next to me, also looking out to sea. After a few minutes in silence, I decided to speak. Even though I had told myself that I didn't care, and that Kayden could do whatever he wanted, deep down I cared and wanted answers to my questions. 

-“Your girlfriend is very pretty," I said without looking at him. I noticed how his eyes were on me.

-“Amanda is not my girlfriend," he replied dryly. 

-“It's not what she says," I said, looking him in the eye. I shouldn't have looked him in the eye. I felt vulnerable under his gaze, as if Kayden could read me like an open book. Besides, I was aware that I would do anything for those big silver eyes.

-“It was. But now she's not. You decide if you want to believe it." I nodded, looking away from his eyes and back out to sea. 

We were surrounded by silence again. 

-“What happened to your parents?" I felt my body tense at the question. 

-“Thanks to the third degree Lily put me through, you know more about me than you should.” -I said, trying to fake a smile, "I don't know anything about you. I'm not going to say something like that to someone I don't know at all."

He smiled in amusement. My heart was racing a mile a minute. One smile from Kayden could brighten any grey day.

-“All right, so ask anything you want. The game of a thousand questions."- He looked at me intently with his huge silver eyes. His light brown hair was tousled by the sea breeze, giving him an irresistible look. I had to hold on to the railing I was leaning against to avoid getting close to him and running my fingers through his hair. 

-“Favorite color," I said, pretending to be serious and imitating Lily.

-“Emerald green," Kayden said, not looking away from my eyes. I felt my legs tremble under his intense stare. Years of training to be an impassive warrior, and here I am, afraid of falling at the mere sight of my mate. 

We continued the game for a while, repeating the questions Lily had asked me. We laughed a lot, and even though the questions were about silly things, I got to know Kayden a little better. 

- "Do you want to have kids? How many?" I said, mimicking Lily's question. I put it in a joking tone, but I was really dying to know. 

For the first time in the conversation Kayden became serious and looked away from me.

-“I'd like to have a big family," he said without looking at any fixed point, "But it wouldn't be fair. No son should be punished by having a father like me."

My mouth dropped open in surprise. Kayden would make a good father; I was sure of it. Just look at the way he's been with Lily. I remembered what Marcos had told me about Kayden and his parents and wondered if that was the reason. 

-“I disagree," I said, this time I was the one looking at him intently. 

Before Kayden could answer, Ian, Cas and Lily appeared. We walked around for a while longer, but as Cas was on patrol for the night, we decided to go back. We went back to where we had parked the cars. "Come with us, please," I heard Kayden through our mind-link. I looked at him in surprise, "I see you've learned to ask for things politely." He smiled slightly and put Lily in the car. I climbed into the front seat without saying anything. 

The ride back was quieter than the way there. Lily fell asleep within five minutes, exhausted from the intense day. Kayden and I were silent for most of the ride. But this time it wasn't an uncomfortable silence. On the contrary, it was a very pleasant silence. His smell was pleasantly relaxing. So I relaxed in my seat, enjoying the scenery. 

My heart went out to Kayden when we arrived at Kayden's packhouse. It had been a very nice day and I had met a completely different Kayden. Now that we were back, Kayden would be back to his hard, unfeeling Alpha mode. I got out of the car. Kayden pulled Lily out on his arm. Lily snuggled into Kayden's chest and wrapped her little arms around his neck. The scene made my heart melt with love. 

Kayden left to drop Lily off and find Mark, so he could fill him in on everything that had happened during the day at the pack. I found Miguel and my brothers and spent the rest of the afternoon with them. We had dinner and watched a movie. When it was over, I decided to go to bed. It had been an intense day and I wanted to rest, as tomorrow morning there would be training again.

I woke up restless. My heart was beating fast, and it was hard to breathe. I ran my hand over my forehead, I was covered in sweat. I had dreamt about Richard and my parents again. I looked at the time and saw that it was only four in the morning. I groaned in annoyance. I was wide awake, and I knew I wouldn't go back to sleep. I took a shower to wash off the sweat and put on some comfortable pants and a big sweatshirt. I grabbed my book and decided to go up to the roof. 

It was four in the morning, which made it impossible for me to meet Kayden upstairs. The images of my day today with Kayden kept playing in my head. My feelings for Kayden were getting more and more intense. I think I was falling in love with him. This situation overwhelmed me, because I couldn't quite see it being reciprocated. 

I curled up on a couch with a blanket and read quietly. I loved this rooftop. I found the peace and quiet here very gratifying. 

I had been reading for quite a while when suddenly the door opened. I jumped up in fright and took up a defensive position. Who could be awake at this hour?

Kayden. 

There he was, handsome as ever. His eyes heavy with sleep and his hair tousled from sleeping. He was wearing sweatshirt and pajama trousers. I relaxed and picked up my book, which had fallen on the floor. 

-"I'm sorry," I said, "I shouldn't have come, I didn't think you'd be here at this hour.

-“You can come whenever you want," he replied, coming closer to me. He stood silently looking at me. –“Don't you ever sleep?" -I looked at him surprised, how did he know? –“Every night I wake up when I feel your pain and anguish," he answered as if he had read my mind. –“A while later I always feel you leaving the house. The first day I thought something had happened to you, so I went out to look for you. I saw you on the cliffs, looking at the sea. After that day, I always wait until I feel that you have come home so that I can go back to sleep. I was surprised when tonight, after the pain, you didn't go for a run. So I looked for you, to make sure everything was OK".

My mouth was open in surprise. I moved it, trying to find an answer to his confession, but the words wouldn't come to me.

-“Do you feel what I feel? Did you follow me?"- was all I could say. Kayden nodded, saying no more. – “Why don't I feel what you feel?" I asked when I got my thoughts in order. 

-“Because I broke our bond. I refused to have a connection with you. You still accept our connection." -I nodded silently, pondering his words. –“On that subject... I wanted to talk to you," he said, looking at me seriously. His gaze made me nervous, I had a feeling that what he was going to say was not going to be good. –“I need you to accept my rejection.”

I felt all the blood leave my face. I couldn't believe it, not after today. 

-“I don't understand." I mumbled, so quietly, I wasn't sure he heard me.

-“Today was incredible. I wanted to love you more than ever. That's why I need you to reject me, Catalina, before it's too late."

- "What do you mean, too late? Too late for what?!"- I noticed how tears started to fall down my cheeks. - "You haven't even given us a chance. Am I that horrible? Is it so bad that I’m your mate?" At this point I was starting to lose control. I could feel myself sobbing and Electra howling in pain at what our mate was asking of us. 

 -“You are the most perfect woman I have ever met," he said, taking a step towards me, "You are the one who got a horrible mate. I'm a bad person, Catalina. You deserve the best, and that's not me. I'm doing all this for you."

-“You don't decide for me!" I said pointing my finger accusingly at him. "I'm the one who decides if I want you as my mate, not you. Do you hear me Kayden?!

-“Catalina, you have to reject me, I beg you." There were so many feelings in his voice that I felt confused. Pain. Pleading. Loneliness. Helplessness.

No, he wasn't going to make that decision for both of us. I felt rage invade my body and I punched him in the chest. Electra was furious that I was hitting our mate, but I ignored her. I needed to vent my anger. Kayden didn't move an inch. It seemed like he hadn't even noticed I was hitting him. That made my rage grow even more, and I started hitting him repeatedly, non-stop. Kayden didn't fight back or move. When I saw that he wasn't going to react, I leaned down, resting my face on his chest, and cried inconsolably. 

I couldn't believe I was psychologically breaking down like this in front of Kayden, but I couldn't control it. I didn't want to lose him, and he wanted me to let him go.

I felt his huge arms wrap around my body and stroke my hair. His touch made my body relax, and I stopped crying uncontrollably. 

-“Please don't cry," he whispered in my ear. 

I pulled slightly away from his body and lifted my head to look into his eyes. He was staring at me. His beautiful silver eyes were full of pain and guilt. Ever since I had met him, I had wanted to taste his perfect lips. If I had to part from him, I wouldn't do it without tasting him first. I stood on tiptoe and brought my lips to his, brushing them together. Kayden didn't react at first, but when he did, he devoured my lips with his. He did it gently at first, but then he kissed me passionately. 

If it wasn't for Kayden still holding me in his arms, I know my legs would have failed me. I held on tightly to his shirt so I wouldn't fall off. I had never felt anything like this before. It was the best feeling in the world, and I didn't want it to end. But Kayden pulled away from me. We were both breathing heavily, trying to catch our breath. 

-“Why did you do that?" Kayden finally whispered. 

The look in his eyes broke my heart into a thousand pieces. He looked at me as if I had committed an unforgivable crime. Our kiss had tightened the bond between us. The opposite of what he wanted. I tried to find the right words to tell him, but before I could say anything, I heard Cas's voice through our mental link. "Rogues. We're under attack. Outpost four on the north border. There are at least 30 of them. We request reinforcements.”

Kayden's eyes were misty, which meant someone in his pack was relaying the same information to him. 

-"Let's go." He said before turning around.

We both ran off, without finishing the conversation.