Secrets We Keep

Secrets We Keep: Chapter One

        "Are you sure?" I looked up from my trembling hands.

        Jonah smiled. "They're going to love you, trust me."

        One thing I loved about Jonah was how he could make every unpleasant emotion in my body go away with just one smile; that very special soft smile that used to hide behind an evil smirk.

        "As a matter of fact, they already do." He added, taking my hand and with the free hand he wasn't driving with.

        The sun shone perfectly on his face, outlining the features he held as assets—that tall nose, those thick scattered brows... those thin lips and an even thinner upper lip... those high cheekbones which were always picked with red, that very structured jaw, and of course how could I forget, the center of attraction, warm baby blue eyes.

        How did I get so lucky to have him?

        With that question, my mind wandered back to nine months ago, before we started talking. Jonah and I have had this... twisted fate. We weren't friends. But our paths had crossed and twisted so many times except we were too ignorant to give credit to it. We've known each other since we were in diapers, much like everyone else in our small town, but we were the type who never minded each other's business, just knew that the other existed.

        Everybody knew that he was this bad boy who loved to pick fights. But I knew better. Not because I have this massive, secret crush on him (which I didn't) but because his best friend Jack, was my best friend too. And Jack spent an awful lot of time telling me stories about Jonah more than I wanted to hear. Because of that, I knew a whole different Jonah—which didn't exactly imprinted to me as "good".

        I never really cared about what he did or what things he engaged himself into, but Jack was persistent. I knew he looked up to him. Jonah was like the brother he never really had. So, I just let him rant on and on about Jonah's oh-so-fabulous life... including love life.

        Several times have our lives almost crossed each other's. His first girlfriend was my Godfather's daughter, Nicole. They lasted long, but broke up after Jonah and his family moved back to London where they were originally from.  When he came back last summer, he was dating this girl, Elaine from London who was friends with one of my close friends. They looked great together but they were on and off because Jonah was... well, screwing around. Then the odds evened up when he came back that fall, and screwed around with my one of my best friends, Kate. Nothing happened between them, physically, but there had been a lot of promises and attachments, especially since Kate got so attached, she even left her boyfriend for him. At that time, I was laughing how stupid she was for believing Jonah.

        Now, I have no idea whether to laugh, be appalled, or just simply reconsider how I made life decisions. At night, I used to wonder how I went from anti-Jonah to head-over-heels-for-Jonah.

        The answer?

        Skype.

        I remembered Jack Skyping in my room till midnight, all because his computer at home crashed. I remember telling him how gay they both sounded and constantly reprimanding him to keep his voice down because I couldn't focus on my reaction paper. But I never talked to Jonah, not once. See, we had the same best friend, but we weren't all best friends together.

        I had not a single clue why I hated Jonah's guts—not his rebel personality, I wasn't a good girl either. Maybe because it was the way how he confidently, arrogantly assumes every girl would fall for his looks that made me despise him.

        But one night I would never forget was when I woke up two in the morning to answer a video call that wasn't mine to take just to get the stupid Skype ringtone off.

        "You're not Jack." I remember him saying to my still half asleep face that was slumped against the webcam.

        "Exactly. So, know that you are currently violating a private space you have no business into at a very ungodly hour." I muttered, my eyes still closed.

        "As you are." He stated in an as a matter of fact way.

        My eyes opened in annoyance and I stared at him with a raised brow. "Do you know how loud this stupid ring tone is?"

        Jonah looked into the camera. "I'm sorry. Jack was supposed to call but he didn't. I was wondering what happened."

        "Yeah, he ditched. Jill's sick so he needs to babysit his twin." I said. "You know, you two sound like you're a couple. Can't you stand not seeing each other?"

        His face hardened and a muscle visibly jumped on his jaw. He was mad, but I wasn't afraid. I was a self-proclaimed bad-ass. "You know what? Thanks for filling me in on Jack... and sorry for the trouble."

        And then the call was off.

        That was the first night I spent thinking about Jonah Matthews. The next day was Jack's turn to reprimand me, shouting at my face that I shouldn't have been rude to his best friend because he was undergoing some problems.

        "You never listened to any of my rant about him, did you?" asked Jack, tapping my back quite strongly.

        "Ow! Watch your hand, Wilson!" I scolded him.

        Jack scowled. "The guy's going through some stuff!"

        "Let me guess, nine months and three girls?"

        He looked at me flatly. "He's not that kind. How many times have I told you that?"

        "More than necessary, actually." I retorted, rolling my eyes. It was true. He had defended Jonah more than one could ever tolerate. And for someone who hated the guy—given that he knew—it was more than I could bear.

        "Jonah doesn't sleep around, Cayla." Jack attested.

        "Right, he just needs affection with a cherry on top." I muttered sarcastically.

        Jack shook his head. "He's not that kind. He said you were play buddies back when we were kids."

        "Really?" I asked, frustrated. "Play buddies? That's what he said?"

        "Yep." Jack replied in a heartbeat. "That's why I don't see the reason for your blind hatred for the guy."

        "For your information, I was never play-buddies with him! Patrick, his older brother, he was my play buddy. We used to play hide and seek with my cousins over at summer camp."

        Jack chuckled. "Really? Patrick who's five years older than we are?"

        "If memory serves." I said confidently. "Five years was nothing back in the days. Jonah's three years older than us."

        "Patrick's still older."

        I remember sighing and saying, "I don't see the whole point why you're saying this. It's like you're proving Jonah to me."

        "You're both my best friends, and I want you guys to be cool. So you know, when he gets back, I wouldn't have to divide my time for you and him when we could all hang out. You know?"

        "Oh honey, you could hang-all-you-want-out with him, just as long as you don't involve me in any of his dipshit." I replied to him.

        "Your dipshits are worse than his." Jack stated. "He just seeks a good time."

        "As do I."

        "No. You're mental. You're a crazy-junkie. You do all sorts of crazy stuff and come up with crazy ideas."

        I scoffed. "You're saying I'm worse than him?"

        "I'm saying you're wrong about him." He responded adamantly. "Just give the poor guy a chance."

        That got me to thinking and actually pushed me to call Jonah later that night to apologize, after Jack ditched again because his twin, JIll, was taken to the hospital.

        And his first words were, "You're not Jack." again.

        For one whole minute, I forced a smile onto my lips. "I know, I don't have the ugly butt chin he has."

        Jonah stared flatly at me and I swallowed a lump.

        "Look, I... I wanted to apologize about last night." I said, looking in a different direction. "Also... Jack kind of... told me some things. 

        He raised an eyebrow at me.

        "He didn't go into specifics." I quickly muttered. "He just mentioned that you're going through a rough time. So um, ehem, err... if you need someone to... you know, talk to... I could..."

        This time, his eyebrows knotted together. 

        "Or not." I added. "So yeah... I'll see you when I see you. I'm hanging up now."

        "No wait." Jonah stopped me. "You're right... I do need someone to talk to."

        I let out a sigh of relief, thanking that this stopped being awkward before I even combusted on the spot.

        "Cayla, would you do that for me?"

        And I had only one answer in mind—yes, anything. That was the time when I had finally noticed the colors in his eyes: the green beyond the blue. That was the time when I knew, deep down to myself, I would do anything for him.

        That was when the all-day long Skype calls happened, that even when we slept, the video call was never turned off, during my break time in culinary school, when I bought a book, when I went to the mall with my friends, hell even when I was studying for my finals. He was there. The calls were never off.

        He was there when I was sick. He was there on my birthday, when I bought my dream camera, and when I had the scariest nightmare of all. A month after, he made his feelings for me clear and we were official. It was a tough one for us, since he was in London, but the Skype calls never stopped. There wasn't any physical relationship, just talking and being there for each other. Trust... and dependence; the need of knowing we had each other. We didn't meet that entire time, due to some serious stuff, not until we reached our eight month, which was now. And so far, it had been the best month of all.

        There was just so much history behind us, and I hoped to God there will be a lot of that damn future ahead too.

        Jonah held my arm with a gentle tap as he put his car to park. 

        "Baby? We're here."