Chapter 20
2106 Words
Summer’s POV
I didn’t turn around.
Not when I heard Ethan say my name.
Not when I felt his eyes following me across the room.
Not when the door closed behind me and the sound of it seemed to mark the end of something I had spent years believing would last forever.
I simply kept walking.
One step after another.
My handbag hung from my shoulder.
My heels clicked against the polished floor.
My face remained calm.
At least, I hoped it did.
I didn’t stop until I reached the elevator.
Only then did I allow myself to breathe.
The doors opened.
I stepped inside.
And the moment they closed behind me, the strength I had been holding onto began to crack.
I stared at my reflection in the mirrored walls.
I looked fine.
That was the strange part.
My makeup was still intact.
My cream-colored blouse was still neatly buttoned.
My hair was still in place.
I looked like a woman who had just walked out of a business meeting.
Not a woman who had just divided her life into numbers, assets, valuations, and signatures.
Not a woman who had sat across from the man she once planned to grow old with and told him, with a straight face, that she had already walked away.
Not a woman who had heard him whisper her name and chosen not to turn around.
The elevator descended.
I watched the numbers change above the door.
One floor.
Then another.
My reflection continued staring back at me.
And suddenly, I felt tired.
Not the kind of tired that sleep could fix.
The kind that settled deep inside the bones.
I had spent the entire morning being strong.
I had listened to lawyers discuss the house.
Our savings.
Our investments.
Our future.
I had watched everything we had built together become paperwork.
And I had managed not to cry.
I had even managed to walk away from Ethan.
That had to count for something.
Right?
The elevator doors opened.
I stepped out.
Olivia was waiting near the reception area.
She gave me a small, understanding smile.
“Are you okay?”
I almost laughed.
It was becoming the most frequently asked question of my life.
Are you okay?
Lena had asked it.
My mother had asked it.
My father had asked it.
Ethan had asked it.
Even people who barely knew me had begun asking it.
And every single time, I had given them some version of the same answer.
I’m fine.
I’m okay.
I’ll be alright.
I had said it so many times that sometimes I wondered whether I was trying to convince them or myself.
“I’m okay,” I said.
Olivia studied me for a moment.
Then she nodded.
“Your next meeting will be scheduled once the valuation reports are completed. My office will be in touch.”
“Thank you.”
She smiled.
“You handled yourself well today.”
I looked down at my handbag.
“I don’t feel like I did.”
“You don’t have to feel strong for it to be true.”
The words caught me off guard.
I looked at her.
She gave my arm a gentle squeeze before stepping away.
I watched her leave.
Then I stood there for another few seconds.
I had no idea what I was supposed to do now.
Go home?
Back to Lena’s place?
Sit on the sofa and pretend I wasn’t going to spend the rest of the day replaying every single moment from the settlement conference?
I already knew how that would go.
I would remember Ethan’s face.
His tired eyes.
The way his voice had cracked when he asked me for another chance.
I would remember the house.
The kitchen cabinets.
The roses.
The life we had built.
I would remember the airport.
Natasha.
The kiss.
And then I would somehow find myself sitting in the same place three hours later, staring at the same wall while my mind dragged me through the same memories again.
No.
I couldn’t do that.
I couldn’t keep doing that.
By the time I reached Lena’s car, I had already made up my mind.
She was leaning against the driver’s side door, scrolling through her phone.
The moment she saw me, she straightened.
Her eyes moved over my face.
Not quickly.
Carefully.
As though she was trying to determine whether I was about to fall apart.
I unlocked the passenger door.
She got inside.
Neither of us spoke immediately.
She started the engine.
I fastened my seatbelt and stared out the window.
The city moved around us.
Cars passed.
People walked along the pavements.
The world continued as though nothing had happened.
As though my marriage had not just been reduced to a settlement agreement.
As though I hadn’t just sat across from the man I loved and told him I had already walked away.
Lena drove in silence for several minutes.
Then she glanced at me.
“You don’t have to talk about it.”
“I know.”
“You don’t have to tell me what happened.”
“I know.”
“You don’t have to pretend you’re okay.”
I looked at her.
She kept her eyes on the road.
“I know.”
A small smile touched my lips.
She glanced at me again.
“What?”
“Nothing.”
“That sounded like a very suspicious nothing.”
I shook my head.
“You’re annoying.”
“Thank you.”
The smile disappeared from my face almost as quickly as it had appeared.
I looked back out the window.
“Lena?”
“Hmm?”
“I can’t stay at home.”
Her expression changed slightly.
“What do you mean?”
“I can’t keep sitting around.”
“You don’t have to.”
“I know.”
I swallowed.
“But if I go home, I’ll think about everything.”
She didn’t interrupt.
“I’ll think about the settlement conference. I’ll think about Ethan. I’ll think about the house. I’ll think about the fact that I’m getting divorced.”
My voice became quieter.
“And I don’t want to think about any of it anymore.”
Lena tightened her hands around the steering wheel.
“Summer…”
“I know I can’t just stop thinking about it.”
“I know this is going to hurt.”
“I know.”
I looked down at my hands.
“But I need something else to think about.”
She was quiet.
“I need a distraction.”
“Okay.”
“I want to go back to work.”
Lena turned her head slightly.
“Tomorrow?”
“Yes.”
“You’re sure?”
“Yes.”
“You don’t have to rush back because you feel guilty for taking time off.”
“I know.”
“Your job will still be there.”
“I know.”
“Your boss isn’t going to fire you because you took time away to deal with your divorce.”
“I know.”
“Then why do you want to go back?”
I looked at her.
Because I needed something that still belonged to me.
The thought appeared quietly.
And once it did, I couldn’t ignore it.
“I need something that isn’t Ethan.”
Lena’s expression softened.
I looked away.
“I spent years making him the center of everything.”
My fingers twisted together in my lap.
“Every plan was about us. Every decision was about us. The house was about us. My future was about us.”
I laughed quietly.
“Even the stupid baby socks were about us.”
Lena didn’t smile.
She reached over and placed one hand over mine.
“And now?”
I stared at our joined hands.
“Now I need something that is mine.”
Her fingers tightened around mine.
“Then go back.”
I looked at her.
“Just like that?”
“Just like that.”
“You’re not going to tell me I should take more time?”
“No.”
“Or that I should rest?”
“No.”
“Or that I’m running away from my problems?”
Lena finally looked at me.
“Are you?”
I opened my mouth.
Then closed it.
“I don’t know.”
She nodded.
“Then we’ll figure that out later.”
I stared at her.
She shrugged.
“Maybe you need time. Maybe you need work. Maybe you need both.”
My eyes began to sting.
“Lena…”
“Don’t.”
“I’m not doing anything.”
“You’re about to cry.”
“I’m not.”
“You are.”
“I’m really not.”
She reached for the tissue box and placed it in my lap without looking at me.
I stared at it.
Then a laugh escaped me.
It was small.
But real.
She smiled.
“There. That’s better.”
I shook my head.
“You’re ridiculous.”
“And yet, you’re still here.”
The words hit me harder than they should have.
I looked at her.
She was still watching the road.
Still driving.
Still pretending that this was an ordinary conversation.
But I knew Lena.
I knew the way she had stayed beside me at the airport.
The way she had come without asking questions.
The way she had let me cry without trying to force me to stop.
The way she had opened her home to me without once making me feel like a burden.
She had never asked me when I was leaving.
Never asked me when I was going to get my own space.
Never asked whether Ethan and I would reconcile.
She had simply made space for me.
There were people who loved you when you were happy.
People who loved you when you were easy to be around.
People who loved you when you had something to give them.
And then there were people like Lena.
The people who stayed when you had nothing left.
The people who didn’t need you to explain the pain before deciding to sit beside you.
The people who could look at you and know that sometimes, you didn’t need advice.
You just needed someone to drive.
Someone to listen.
Someone to put a box of tissues in your lap and pretend not to notice when you started crying.
My throat tightened.
“I don’t know what I would do without you.”
Lena immediately shook her head.
“No.”
I blinked.
“No?”
“Don’t say that.”
“Why?”
“Because you’ll never have to find out.”
My eyes burned.
She finally looked at me.
Her expression was completely serious.
“You’re stuck with me.”
A laugh escaped me through the tears.
“I didn’t agree to that.”
“Too late.”
“You’re very controlling.”
“I prefer dedicated.”
I laughed again.
This time, it lasted longer.
And when the laughter faded, the sadness was still there.
Of course it was.
But it didn’t feel quite as heavy.
Lena reached over and squeezed my hand.
“Whatever you decide to do, Summer, I’m with you.”
I looked at her.
“Even if I go back to work tomorrow?”
“Even if you go back to work tomorrow.”
“Even if I decide I need time off again next week?”
“Then I’ll be there.”
“Even if I decide I want to quit?”
“Then I’ll help you celebrate your dramatic resignation.”
I smiled.
“And if I decide I want to stay?”
“Then I’ll bring you lunch.”
My eyes filled again.
“You’re really not going to let me get rid of you, are you?”
“Absolutely not.”
I looked out the window.
For the first time since the settlement conference ended, I allowed myself to breathe.
Not because everything was okay.
It wasn’t.
I was still getting divorced.
My life was still changing.
There were still legal documents to sign.
There were still conversations I wasn’t ready to have.
There was still a part of me that loved Ethan.
But maybe I didn’t have to solve everything today.
Maybe I didn’t have to know who I would become after the divorce.
Maybe I didn’t have to have my entire life figured out.
Maybe, for now, I just needed to get up tomorrow morning.
Get dressed.
Go to work.
And remember that I was still a person outside of my marriage.
- Writer
