REST
314 Words
I think I understand it now.
Not everything.
Just... enough.
The quiet.
The distance.
The way everything slowly became less.
I thought it was control.
And maybe it was.
For a while.
But control doesn't last forever
Nothing does.
I've been trying to figure out what changed.
When the quiet stopped feeling stable...
And started feeling heavy.
I don't have an answer.
But I don't think I need one anymore.
Everything feels slower now.
Not in a bad way.
Just... distant.
Like I'm watching things from far away.
Even my own thoughts.
They don't come as easily.
Not like before.
It's harder to hold onto them.
Harder to keep everything clear.
But that's okay.
I don't feel the need to understand everything anymore.
For a long time-
I thought understanding was important.
That if I could just figure people out...
Figure myself out...
Everything would make sense.
But now-
I think some things are meant to fade.
Not everything needs to be held onto.
Not everything needs to be explained.
I saw her earlier.
She looked at me the same way she always does now.
Like she's searching for something she can't find.
I wanted to say something.
Something real.
Something that would make her understand.
But I didn't.
Not because I couldn't.
But because I don't think words would be enough.
They never really were.
She told me to take care of myself.
I nodded.
That was enough for her.
Or maybe it wasn't.
Either way
It didn't change anything.
I'm tired again.
But not in the same way as before.
This feels... different.
Lighter.
Like something is finally letting go.
I don't feel the need to hold on anymore.
Not to people.
Not to thoughts.
Not even to this version of myself.
Everything feels... quiet again.
But this time-
It's not heavy.
It's calm.
I think I'll rest.
Just for a while.
- Writer
