WATCHING PEOPLE
369 Words
I don't talk much anymore.
But I see everything.
It started without me noticing.
Just small things at first.
The way people laugh.
The way they change their tone depending on who they're talking to.
The way their faces don't always match what they're saying.
Now I can't stop seeing it.
There's a boy in my class.
He jokes a lot.
Everyone likes him.
But I noticed something.
His laughter is always a second too late.
Like he waits to see if others are laughing first.
There's another girl.
Always smiling.
Always kind.
But her eyes don't change.
I didn't know this before.
Or maybe I did...
I just didn't pay attention.
Now it's all I do.
Watch.
Observe.
Understand.
People think being quiet means you don't know what's going on.
That's not true.
It just means you're not distracted.
I sat with her again today.
She was talking about something.
I don't remember what.
But I was watching her.
Not in a strange way.
Just... carefully.
Her expressions match her words.
Her reactions are real.
She doesn't pause before laughing.
She doesn't force her smile.
She's different.
I don't understand why she still stays.
Most people would have left by now.
"You're doing it again," she said.
I looked at her.
"Doing what?"
"Staring like you're trying to read my mind."
I looked away.
"I'm not," I said.
She smiled slightly.
"You kind of are."
There was no judgment in her voice.
Just... curiosity.
That's rare.
Most people don't like being observed.
It makes them uncomfortable.
But she didn't move away.
"I miss how you used to be," she said quietly.
That sentence...
It should have meant something.
But it didn't.
Not the way it's supposed to.
I understand what she means.
I just don't feel it.
That's becoming a pattern now.
Understanding without feeling.
It's efficient.
Feelings complicate things.
They make people irrational.
Predictable in the worst ways.
Without them...
Everything becomes clearer.
Simpler.
I think that's why I don't want them back.
Or maybe...
I just don't know how to get them back anymore.
Either way-
I'm learning a lot.
And the more I learn about people...
The less I want to be like them.
- Writer
