NO ATTACHMENT
377 Words
I've been thinking about something.
Connections.
How they start.
How they grow.
How they end.
Most people think connections are important.
Necessary.
I don't.
I think they're liabilities.
The more someone knows you...
the more they can affect you.
And I've already removed that risk from everyone else.
Except one.
Her.
She's still here.
Still talking.
Still sitting next to me.
Still acting like I haven't already pulled away.
I don't understand it.
After everything...
After the silence...
After the distance...
She stayed.
That should mean something.
I think.
But meaning requires feeling.
And I don't have that.
She laughed today.
At something I said.
I didn't even realize I had said anything worth laughing at.
It was automatic.
The mask.
That's when I noticed something.
I'm not just pretending with others anymore.
I'm starting to pretend with her too.
And that's a problem.
Because she's the only one who was supposed to be... real.
"You're thinking again," she said.
I didn't answer.
"You always go quiet like that when you're overthinking," she added.
Overthinking.
That's what people call it.
But I'm not confused.
I'm deciding.
And I think I've made a decision
Attachments are dangerous.
Not because people always hurt you...
But because they can.
And that's enough.
So today...
I created distance.
Not obvious.
Not dramatic.
Just small changes
I didn't wait for her after class.
I didn't sit in our usual spot.
I didn't respond as quickly.
She noticed.
Of course she did.
"You've been avoiding me," she said.
Straightforward
I respect that.
"I'm not," I replied.
A simple lie.
She looked at me for a long time
Longer than usual.
Then she sighed
"If you need space... just say it," she said quietly.
Space.
That's what she thinks this is.
Maybe it is.
Or maybe...
I'm just preparing.
Because if there's one thing I've learned-
It's that people don't stay forever.
Even the ones who say they will.
And I'd rather step back first...
Than feel it when they leave.
Still...
When she walked away today
I noticed something.
A pause.
Not in my thoughts.
But somewhere else.
Something small.
Almost unrecognizable.
Like something inside me... reacted.
I ignored it.
Of course I did.
Because whatever that was
I don't need
Not anymore.
- Writer
