I Only Miss You When I Breathe

Hello teenage years

The early teenage years were something else with Christopher.  He struggled in school because of his head injury.   He was smart but struggled to retain.  So he acted silly in school to make it look like he wasn't having the problems he was having.  He was loved by everyone but still, he lived in a dark area and hide it well.  When you would talk to him he would deny anything was going on.  He would smile with that silly grin and kick his feet and keep on going.  

We moved into him learning to drive.  That was a disaster!  His Dad literally gave up on him.  His car was a 5 speed and it scared him on slopes to drive it.  I understood that very well my first car was a 5 speed and it scared me too.  My Dad taught me in a bit drainage ditch.  So I took Christopher out and taught him the same way I was taught.  We had so much fun that day, but it made his Dad mad because we made it look so much fun and easy.  Christopher brought so much light to my heart and life.  

I will never forget when he was grounded and that silly boy told on himself.  I grounded him from driving his car! He said how will you know your gone when we leave for school.  I taught him I took the tires off and chained the car to a tree.  Benjamin said they were so shocked when they went outside and had to catch the bus.  Benjamin said I told ya momma isn't stupid she caught what you said.    Silly teenage boys!  Sad part about it he was only grounded for goofing off in school.  At this point, both my boys were no trouble.  They would goof off in school that was about it.  

Then  Christopher started getting a little older and driving and going a little more and that was the first time I caught him drinking and driving.  I was livid!  His Dad went crazy.  I told him we had to handle this in a way that taught him something.  He said he should already know he was hit by a drunk driver.  I told my husband he was 8 when this happened and not responsible for it.  He is a teenager now and cried out for so long to be like the other kids he is trying to fit in right or wrong.  So we punished and talked to him and took him back to talk to DWI offenders but he discussed what it was like being that teenage driver intoxicated after being hit by a drunk driver.  We wanted him to see it from both sides.  I tried so hard to not make his accident a crutch in life for him.  I wanted him to become stronger and wiser from it.  I always knew Christopher had a loving, kind, and generous heart.  But I still did not understand that dark world that his head injury created in his brain.