"FOREVER AMEN - CHUI..."

HAPPY AND SAD....

"I will really miss you, my dearest sister and best friend, you know." Brain said to his sister as she prepared to leave for Nairobi. Nilla had brought Brian to school. Finally, after they both thought it would be impossible for him to join form one like the other candidates who had sat for the Kenya Certificate of Primary Education(K.C.PE) the previous year. In Kenya, children are expected to go through the early stages of learning, which starts from kindergarten, then they attend what we call primary school. Here, children join class one or standard one all the way to standard eight or class eight. Each level takes one year to finish and when children reach class eight, they sit for the K.C.P.E exams, after which, depending on their performance, they are selected to join the schools of their choice. The schools are also grouped according to how well they perform; the national schools are schools that only pick the best children in every region of the country, the extra-county schools pick the good ones who were not chosen by the national schools and then there are provincial schools which pick the middle performers and lastly, the divisional schools who open their gates for anyone who is still willing to give education a chance. A brutal system and manner to group children if you ask me, but again, we can only hope that a day will come when the ability to retain knowledge in books will not be the only way to gauge intelligence in children. Brian had done so well and Nilla was very proud of him. She had seen many people have easier lives because of education. She did not want her brother's life to be like hers, which she had always likened to that of a blackjack. All the years of their hard work had finally paid off, and she had vowed to do everything possible to make sure Brian completed his fourth form and, after that, went to university. Her thought was, this way, Brian could grow up to become like other people who lived dignified lives. She could rest knowing that the little boy who life handed to her, became an African Daisy after all the tribulations they both went through.

In the spirit of fighting tooth and nail for her brother to join high school, Nilla decided to ascend to the Valley of Hinnom, and speak with the chief of demons himself - her father. After years of not seeing each other and of not speaking, Nilla made a move to reach out to her father and, since her drunk of a father did not have a cell phone, she had to call the only lady who operated a public telephone booth by the time she was leaving the village completely in search for peace and growth. "Hello, who is this? I can remember this voice but this number... I do not have this number..." Mama Gweth said, speaking to the person on the other side of the phone. "This is Nilla, you used to call me Atwech, Mamana." Nilla said. 'Atwech' is a Luo word used to address a beautiful girl or a woman who knows how to dress sharp. 'Mamana' on the other hand, is an endearing term that means 'my mother'. It is used to refer to any female, young or old, to show that you love them just like you love your mother. Though impossible, dear reader, just know that 'Mamana' is an amazing way to refer to any girl you love, whether it's a big girl(woman) or small girl.

"Eeeeiii! Mamana! I haven't really heard from you in a very long time! Mamana, how are you? How is Birayan?" The name Brian was a little bit more complex for most of the villagers, especially the older generation to pronounce properly.

"Birayan is fine, we are fine, the gods have held us."

"Mos for what you went through my daughter, that devil your father brought really came to collect your souls my children. I really do not like her. Did I tell you that her daughter got married to a man worse than that thing you married? Have I told you that the man now has three wives in a span of three years? Heee！heee! Indeed, do not insult the midwives when you are not done with the labor ward!" Mama Gweth was still a village gossip even after all these years and seemed like she had perfected the art with age. In Uyoma village, they would say such people suffer from 'Foot and Mouth' disease. They translated it literally to give a perfect picture of someone who walks from one boma to another while spreading lies. Mama Gweth was already keeping Nilla up to date on what had been happening in the life of her step-sister. Her step-mother joined the family with two children who were older than Nilla. The unfair treatment that Nilla and Brian faced under her and her children was the reason why Mama Gweth was referring to her as the devil Nilla's father brought home." Mamana, let us pray for her and wish her well in marriage, besides, polygamy is not a bad thing among our people, remember."

"It is not bad, but of what use is it when the only thing you get from it is many children and being beaten like the Roho Msalaba drums Mamana? eeh! Even the drums are usually aired in the sun to rest on some days Mamana"Mama Gweth never left any chance to spread the latest news go to waste. This one made Nilla burst in loud laughter. Roho Msalaba is a group of a religious sect who dance energetically while hitting drums. The beating of drums is their trademark, and they usually do this while moving in large groups. They really are professionals at drum beating, and it is very easy to notice them coming your way even when they are miles away.

"Mamana, please, can I trust you to send a message to my father? Could you please tell him that Brian did so well in his K.C.P.E exams and has been selected to join St. Francis Boys' High School? Could you please tell him that I am unable to raise enough money for all the requirements? The child has done well, and it won't really be good if we just left him in the hands of nothing..." Nilla was begging. Back in Uyoma, anything that has been left in the 'hands of nothing' refers to what has been left unattended, basically, left to the dogs.

"I have heard, my daughter. You are a really good child. Your mother should have been alive to see how strong of a warrior you have become. I am also proud of Birayan and how smart he has become. It is indeed true that the gods will always favor the weak. I will also send something small for my son. You have done well. My elder son went to Nakuru for work and I will send him Birayan's fee structure and see if he can afford to send something small too. Once a child is born, it belongs to the whole village Mamana, so worry not." Mama Gweth said in a comforting soft tone. Seems even she knew when to be serious. The message was sent. The father got the message and his response was :"That stupid girl left a very good man just because of beatings...mere beatings. Which woman with a functioning head leaves a marriage because of beatings? A woman must be directed once in a while to make her head stay in place. She thought she was too special ? Let her educate her brother. If she had stayed married, Birayan would not be having this problem right now. Very useless girl." Nilla listened from the other side as mama Gweth begged her father to at least talk to his child, which he refused.

"You know these children that you left in the hands of nothing could be the ones to help you in old age? Today you are saying that she could have stayed married when the whole village knows that it indeed took the intervention of the gods, or maybe her mother's protection from the grave, for her to even be here today. Adek, listen to me, you will remember this day. Atwech might have had a rough life, but Atwech will never be forsaken by the gods." Mama Gweth's voice was shaking from anger. Adek, Nilla's father, had not changed, he did not care. His wife joining and heckling made it worse as Nilla could hear them. Mama Gweth did not hang up the phone. Old memories came back. Nilla dropped to the ground, tears running freely from her eyes. She was defeated. She had lost.

It was after two days of searching for solutions to no avail when mama Gweth called. She had called to deliver her promise. She managed to reach out to her son in Nakuru, pleaded with him to help Birayan out and not leave him in the hands of nothing. Money was sent, money enough to buy the items that the school had listed, money enough to buy shoes and school uniform, money enough for everything Brian needed to join form one. Nilla was lost for words. She made a promise that one day, when the gods finally settled her, she would surely pay. Brian was overjoyed, he finally had a chance to join school. The two of them prepared and even asked Mama Gweth if she could accompany them for the admission come the fourteenth of the following month. She was more than happy to join them.

Mama Gweth and Nilla were ready to head out. Mama Gweth only had a few kilometers back to the village while Nilla had to travel back to Nairobi, a twelve-hour road journey. "Mama, thank you so much for giving me this chance to study and become a better human being. Please, tell your son that I will not let his kindness go to waste. Only the gods can ever reward you fully." Brian said to Mama Gweth. "My son, the gods are on your side, even the devil can confirm that this is indeed true. Make your sister proud. You have seen what this girl has gone through at her young age. If she were other girls, she could have left you with your father and stepmother, yet, she chose to fight for you. Make her proud Birayan."Brian's eyes welled up in tears. His sister was the only reason he ever made it this far. "I stand because you laid your life down for me. I will study hard. I give you my word, dear sister."

"Here, you will not worry about what you will eat next or whether the landlord will be locking our door or not.You are at peace. Little brother, I never had the chance to join a boarding secondary school, you do, this is your future. Please, make me proud, okay?"

"My work will speak for itself."

After a heart-to-heart session, Nilla and Mama Gweth took their leave towards Mama Gweth's home. In her heart, Nilla was happy. Her brother got a chance to have a good environment to study. She only had to apply for bursaries in the coming school terms then pay for the other half of school fees. Nilla and Mama Gweth had a long chat about how their lives had been. Nilla knew very well that Mama Gweth could effortlessly narrate the past four years of what had happened in the village, so, it was up to her to cut the long story short else, she would miss her bus to Nairobi. "Mamana, please, allow me to leave. Nairobi is far, and I also have work tomorrow first thing in the morning. Only the gods can ever reward your house fully for standing with the helpless. I will never forget." Nilla said as she stood up, preparing to leave.

"You know in Nairobi there isn't enough soil for agriculture. Every available space is for business." Mama Gweth said as she headed to her granary. A granary is where most houses in the village store their farm produce. Nilla was given enough food to last her for months. "Go my child, for the road is always short for she who rises early. Keep in your head that grass will grow, this time not just on your mother's grave alone, but also over the hole in your heart.I have heard your story, I will pray for you. Mamana, please, call me whenever you need help. Remember, a single stick may smoke, but it can never burn" Mama Gweth indeed was not just an ordinary village woman ailing from 'Foot and Mouth' disease, but was a kind woman with a good heart. Nilla was indeed grateful.

One o'clock in the morning, Nilla was finally entering Nairobi city. She had traveled from the village and was grateful that everything worked out fine. She was happy that she would not have to worry about food or shelter for her brother. She was happy that she also had with her food from Mama Gweth and would be sorted for a few months. She just wanted to take a three-hour nap then prepare for work in the morning. In the hushed confines of her small bedsitter house, Nilla lay ensconced in the embrace of sleep. She slept as if she was on a sleep assignment and was scared of failing. The luminescent fingers of dawn were just beginning to dance upon the horizon, casting a faint glow through the curtains. The shrill cry of her alarm shattered the stillness, jolting Nilla from her slumber. Weariness clung to her like a heavy cloak, a testament to the arduous journey that brought her to this moment. With a sigh that seemed to carry the weight of the night, she reluctantly roused herself. Her limbs felt as though they were made of lead, protesting every movement. Yet, duty beckoned, its call resounding louder than the lull of exhaustion. She prepared herself and off she left for work.

Nilla worked for Li & Associates, a real estate firm and was diligent in her work. She for sure was aware that she did not come all the way from Mombasa to Nairobi just to be a lazy girl. However, on that fateful Tuesday morning, a single mistake would set off a chain of events that would test not only her professional integrity but also her personal resilience and the very foundation of her dreams. As the clock ticked away and the weight of her forgotten responsibility settled upon her shoulders like a heavy burden, Nilla's heart sank. She could almost hear the echoes of her boss's words reminding her of the importance of professionalism. With every passing second, Nilla's anxiety grew, knowing that her boss was eagerly awaiting the response from Greenlace Company. With beads of sweat forming on her forehead, Nilla frantically searched for a solution. She pondered the repercussions of her oversight, realizing that this could tarnish not only her professional reputation but also jeopardize the promising partnership between their two esteemed companies. The thought of her boss's disappointment turned Nilla's stomach into knots, as she feared the consequences that awaited her. Mr.Li did not take lightly his employees being incompetent. Well, in Nilla's defense, she really had more than a lot going on. She was not anywhere near stable both emotionally and mentally. Greenlace was just on the other side of the road, and all she needed was an excuse to cross over the road and deliver this document." Excuse me Mrs Majimbo, please, can I leave for a few minutes?" Nilla asked her supervisor, Mrs Majimbo. Mrs Majimbo is one of those Kenyan employees who would not think twice when it came to throwing her own country people under the bus just so she could be favored by the foreign bosses. "You were not at work on Saturday and yesterday-Monday, yet here you are, barely ten minutes into work, and you still want to leave." that was Mrs Majimbo's answer. "I am deeply sorry, I am having terrible abdominal cramps, nothing serious, but I promise you, I will not be long." Nilla answered.

Being able to get a chance to get out of the office gave Nilla a sign of relief, she could quickly cross over to Greenlace company and deliver the important document.. Entering The Orange Plaza and not sure where exactly Greenlace offices were, Nilla decided to walk towards a man who seemed to be tying his shoelace and in Swahili, she asked "Excuse me sir, do you know which floor I could find Greenlace enterprise?" The man lifted his head up and Nilla could tell that he was definitely not Kenyan. It was a mzungu, a term Kenyans use to refer to white people. "Sorry, I do not understand Swahili, English maybe?" The man said. "Greenlace, you know?" Nilla asked again. "Excuse me, please, could you help this young lady? The man said as he walked towards the security lady who was standing just a few steps ahead of them, Nilla had not seen the security lady earlier. Turns out she had entered the wrong building and Greenlace was the next building just to the immediate right of where she had entered. Nilla turned to say thank you to the mzungu man but only saw the elevator doors closing with his eyes fixed on his phone. She rushed to the next building, dropped the document and quickly left for her workplace. Hardly had Nilla sat down when Mr Li asked whether she had delivered the document she was supposed to hand over to Greenlace. Her response was yes. "Please, before you leave in the evening, make sure you follow up with the rent payment. This month, their rent is long overdue, business is tough for everyone in Kenya right now," Mr Li said.

It was 4:30 PM and Nilla was reminded to go follow up on Greenlace enterprises who, according to her employer, had deliberately decided to play hide and seek with his investment. Honestly speaking, the only reason why the rent and service charge had been three days late, was because Nilla had decided to sleep on her job. Mr Li, on the other hand, kept on saying that the rent was long overdue only because he never wanted his clients to delay paying him his money even for a day. If only he could do the same when it came to paying his employees, life would be easier for them. He would even delay up to two weeks before paying those who work for him. His excuse?-He forgot. The Greenlace accountant seemed to have been a little held up on that day, and Nilla had to wait for him to be done with his meeting before reminding him to pay the rent and service charge. Just because the payment was three days late, Mr Li insisted that Nilla had to wait at Greenlace until rent and service charges are paid and that is only when she could leave. Nilla confirmed, gave Mr. Li a call, then after being given the go ahead to leave, she walked out of the Greenlace building.

Going through the exit gate of Greenlace building would take Nilla a longer time to the bus station compared to going back to the Orange Plaza then using its exit. This would give her a five-minute walk to where she would take her bus home. Nilla was a few steps out of the Orange Plaza when she encountered her worst fear; stray dogs. Nairobi had stray dogs as a part of its aesthetic in that season, and no one can understand why there were so many of them. Usually, they do not bother anyone, they just want food and to survive. The ones Nilla encountered on her way to the exit of The Orange Plaza were just lying outside the gate, just resting next to the tiny food café outside the complex. "I really fear dogs..." Nilla said, speaking to herself. "It is okay, I will walk you past young lady..." Nilla heard a man's voice. It was the man she had met in the morning at the Orange Plaza when she was looking for the Greenlace complex. Nilla did not know what to do. She had never really interacted with a mzungu before. Not sure of what to say, she just nodded her head. "Stray dogs can be scary. I really understand you. Are you the lady from the office this morning?" The man said. Nilla's English was not good, and she definitely did not catch what the man had said. "Mmmmmh?' Nilla said to signify that she did not catch a word. "This morning, in the front office, was that you?" The man repeated, slowly this time. "Yes, is me in morning"Nilla's English was not really good. For someone who had been out of school more than she was in it, she was not so badly off. Also, in her defense, this man was tall, making it hard for her to get him clearly from the sky from where he spoke. "Sir, thank you for walking me past, I branch here and take my bus"Nilla said to the mzungu knowing very well that she still had a considerable distance to walk, it is the English that was giving her migraines. "Sure young lady, I am glad to have been of help, I also somehow needed the walk, thank you too." The mzungu said as he bid Nilla bye. Nilla walked to her bus stop, took her bus home and, deep down, she was grateful for a successful day, she had managed to get to work on time despite being tired from a long road trip throughout the previous night.

Entering the noisy neighborhood, Nilla was happy to be home. She lived in Zimmerman, a place she found suitable for both her and Brian, because the bedsitter room at least made it possible for them to have their own toilet and bathroom, even though the house was tiny. Back in Mombasa, they lived in a mud-thatched house with pit latrines outside. The pit latrines were also used as bathrooms and there were very many instances where one had to clean after the last user who had just decided, for their own reasons, would not aim at the hole and, as such, dumped their load just beside the toilet hole. There were periods when the pit latrines would be full to the brim with maggots, yet the landlord still had other problems and the state of his tenants' pit latrine still not making it to the top a hundred of the list. The trauma of sharing a bathroom with neighbors and having to walk to the toilet from the house, is what made Nilla and Brian look for a house with a bathroom and a toilet inside. This was one of the improvements their lives had made and the two, even though they were sleeping and sitting on the floor, were very happy with the stride they had made forward. Nilla opened her door and the first thing she met was water all over the floor. She had forgotten to turn off her tap. In this part of the city, there were regular water and power shortages. Sometimes, people would go for a month without water in their taps. As a result, they had to buy twenty liters of water at thirty shillings, an equivalent to 0.19USD. This was the third week since Nilla had tap water in her house and on the day when she badly needed rest, her mattress was soaked in water and the food given to her by Mama Gweth had joined in the pool. Nothing could destroy her day more. A fulfilling and draining day all at once, this is what Nilla described as happy and sad.