Chapter 17 - Josette
788 Words
"Evander?"
The silence that follows is oppressive, and I'm about to convince myself it was just my imagination when I hear a faint rustling sound coming from the corner of the room. My eyes strain in the darkness, and then I see a shadowy figure standing, watching me .
"Evander?" I whisper again, hope and excitement blooming in my chest. The figure steps forward into the reflection of the moon, and my heart skips a beat as I realize it's indeed him, standing there, watching me with an unreadable expression on his face.
"What are you doing here?" I whisper-yell, locking eyes with him.
He stands there, unmoving as if frozen to the spot. "I couldn't stay away," he whispers back, his voice barely audible.
Tears well up in my eyes at his words. "Not this again. I...I don't know if I can do this anymore," I say, my voice cracking. "Your mood swings, the rejection...it's too much."
Evander's expression softens, and he takes a step closer. "What do you mean?" he asks, his voice laced with concern.
"You rejected me. I asked you, begged you to..." I trail off, tears streaming down my face. I felt humiliated just thinking about it. "One minute you're all in, and the next, you're pushing me away. I don't know how to keep up."
His eyes fill with a mix of guilt and longing as he steps closer to me. "I'm sorry," he whispers, his voice full of emotion. "I try to stay away, but I…can't. I think of you every waking second; your face haunts my dreams at night. I thought being close to you, being your friend, would help cure this obsession in me, but it didn't. I want you, Josette, more than I've ever wanted anything. I can't just tell you some things about me for your safety." Evander finished, his voice rough with emotion. He reached out, his fingers lightly brushing my cheek. "But I'm tired of fighting it, Josette. Tired of resisting you. If you're willing… if you're willing to give us a chance… I want to be with you."
My breath caught in my throat, and I blinked, surprised. "Be with me? What does that even mean, Evander?" I tried to sound playful, like I couldn't care less about him, but I did care. As much as I wanted the same thing, it was hard to forget how easily he'd pushed me away before.
He actually smiled, a genuine, unguarded smile that made my heart ache. "It means… I want to try. I want to spend time with you, take you out, and show you how I feel. I might be terrible at this," he admitted, a hint of awkwardness in his voice.
"You're not just going to...push me away again, are you?" My voice trembled with uncertainty. I wanted to believe him; I really did, but the sting of his rejection was still too fresh.
He takes another step closer, his eyes locked on mine. "I don't know how to do that anymore, Josette. I've tried to resist you, to stay away, but...I don't think I can. I don't think I want to."
I look up at him, searching for answers in his eyes, but all I see is a deep-seated desire and a hint of desperation.
"I don't want to be away from you," he added softly, a small smile on his lips.
I wanted to trust him; I really did, but I'm still wary, still cautious. I don't want to get hurt again. "And what happens when you decide I'm not worth the effort?" I asked, trying to keep my voice light. "What happens when your big secret gets in the way?"
His smile faded a little. "It won't," he said, reaching for my hand.
I hesitated, then took it. His hand was warm and strong. "You have to promise me you'll try. Try to be honest with me; try to be open. Don't just...disappear on me again." My voice cracked. "I don't think I could bear it anymore."
He squeezed my hand. "I won't," he promised, looking right at me.
I wanted to believe him—desperately. But somewhere deep inside, fear coiled tight around my ribs. What if he was wrong? What if he walked away anyway?
I’d never done this before—never opened myself up like this, never let anyone see the soft, trembling parts of me I usually kept hidden.
And now, here I was, standing in the dark with a boy who’d already broken my heart once, asking me to trust him not to do it again.
Could I really risk my heart once more?
My lips parted, the answer on the tip of my tongue.
- Writer
