WGW

Chapter 29

"So, her death made me rethink a lot of things and made me want to change things in the industry: how we worked, how we treated staff, how we penalised individuals who took advantage of entry level personnel and a lot of things, but this effort was just me trying to seek redemption for me casting a blind eye at all the vices that took place at work. My guilt overcame me and I eventually took my life, through a painless method, because I was not strong enough to hang myself like she did. Well, I guess I told my depressing tale, if you wish to one up me with something sad, I am all ears. I mean, something tragic could only push you to killing yourself." he said wiping away his tears with his hand. Clarice who had initiated him into spilling the beans about his reason now felt really heavy and conflicted. He didn't think her reasons for self termination would be justifiable, but she then said, "I am sorry for what happened to you. Well, I don't know if my reasons will make any sense, I am after all the pȯrnstar that made a living through immoral acts, doing things that society would frown upon. Labelled a w***e, a sŀut a temptress and even a devil. I won't even give the excuse of being damaged goods. I came from a decent family, but I wanted to pursue modelling, but oh boy did that prove to be a fuċken mission. I was very good looking, but certain body types were in demand so I was like fuċk it, do I go back to school and have my parents tell me 'I told you so' or do I find a gig fast. So there was some guy recruiting girls and I saw the money I could make which way more than the bullshit my friends were getting from their lousy jobs. I was a bit of a freak in highschool, popular with the boys so I didn't really give a fuċk. I did what they asked and also tried by all means to be health conscious as I did it. I made a fuċk tonne of money from having sėx on camera and I got my parents a new house, brother a car and paid off some of my relatives' debts. They all loved me until they found out what I really did. I got disowned by my family, but they still didn't lose the nerve of asking me for money for this and that, and I generally had to keep to myself because whenever a neighbourhood would know about my profession, especially the mothers, they would want me to fuċken disappear. I have had my fair share of hate and perverse dehumanizing infatuation from perverts and guys who thought I was a dumb b***h who liked dɨċk. I mean, every guy here has seen me nȧkėd and probably m*********d to me getting an ȯrġȧsm. Right now I few like I am making you guys feel uncomfortable, especially Tinashe who probably has never had to deal with someone like me before. I have done fuċkėd up things and I am probably the one with the least moral compass among all of us. I killed myself because as much as I gained wealth, fame and even the attention of celebrities who just wanted to tap my ȧss for some publicity stunt, I ruined my family's honour and made married women feel uncomfortable. I had a falling out with my agent who wasn't booking me as much, because some new piece of ȧss was going to replace me. I mean even if my family hated me and millions of men secretly m*********d to me at night whilst joining the the rest of society during the day, to persecute me with their hypocritical name calling and bullshit, I at least had the mulla, but my agent decided to fuċk me over because I am replaceable ċunt. In only a matter of 3 years, my stability in the industry was going to end, so yeah, I killed myself because at the core of it, I am just a disgusting sŀut who fuċkėd her way to riches and I was damn proud of it."

When Clarice was done, she felt really down and wanted to get some air. This ended up becoming a rather bitter evening with both of those who disclosed, feeling under the weather as soon as they were done. John followed her trying to comfort her as Tinashe just stayed, conflicted by her story. Pornography, though purely for sensual stimulation was acted by real people playing a persona to rouse the ŀust of both men and women.

Even when they had first met, Tinashe could only see a w***e who was feigning human emotions and actions, but Clarice was a normal person, despite her ŀėwd archive of acts. The dehumanizing thoughts that objectified her as an instrument to sate sėxuȧŀ dėsɨrė, made him realize that there was something wrong with himself. He wanted to stop her but he had no idea what to say.

John finally got a hold of her and told her, "I am sorry for what happened to you, but you don't have to think that you are lesser person because of your past. You don't have to be Maya Vijou anymore, you can be Clarice, start afresh and distance yourself from your past."

"That's easy for you to say, you wrote books and did weird cross dressing s**t, I fuċkėd men and women on camera for a living and guess what, the fact that 3 different men from different age brackets have seen me nȧkėd, even in the fuċken afterlife means I can't just shawshank redemption this one. That's what I am, a minx, a temptress who lures men into doing immoral s**t. I am not a good person, I don't know if I will even qualify to be part of your group that wants to stop people from killing each other for experience points. You see John, girls who end up like me don't get a redemption story. They remain a constant reminder of how low society can sink." she said, passionately as her tears trickled downwards.

John immediately got infuriated by her remark and then b***h slapped her on her right cheek. The slap really hurt and Clarice almost tumbled backwards from the force, but then John came in and hugged her and said, "You're not a piece of s**t. If you want to, you can change. You are not alone in this, even if you fuċkėd the worst, you still have a chance to save yourself, start afresh. You may have been that actress in the past, but you don't have to be now!" Clarice was taken aback by his statement and instantly fell weak to his resolve.

She had never been told anything like that in her past life and she believed that once you became this terrible monster people made you up to be, you could never change, but this man, who was muscular but looked awkward due to his choice of clothes, wanted to see her change. She was overcome by a weakness in her heart and she immediately kissed him. The kiss was sweet, but before it could progress into something more, John stopped her and they soon returned back to the base where Malcolm was. Clarice was invigorated by the man's words and really hoped that such a thing could even be possible for a girl like her who profited from her immoral acts in the past.