To live and to die

chapter 4

"Brrrrriiiiiii, briiiiiii" my phone rang making me wake up from my sleep.

I stared at the caller,it was an unknown number.

No one ever called me before and

if they did, it was usually a wrong

number.

I picked the call.

"Hello" I said.

"Hey Brittney, uhhh, it's been like an hour since I texted you my house address, and like, you haven't responded, so I called to see if everything was ok"

Oh my God, Aaron. I forgot I had classes with him today.

"Uhh yeah, I'm actually on my way right now" I lied jumping out of my bed to my closet and looking for what to wear.

"I'll be there in no time" I added and cut the call.

I finally found a long baggy jacket and pants and quickly put it on.

I went to the mirror to arrange my hair, God I looked like big foot.

I applied lotion on it and brushed it down till it was normal again.

Then I grabbed my purse and phone and texted my mom that I'll be home before 9pm.

That was weird because I was always at home.

I checked the address he gave me and to my greatest surprise, it wasn't even far from where I lived, I could literally walk down there.

How come I never knew?.

After about a 15 minutes walk, I arrived at his house.

I read the house address like 20 times to be sure I was seeing well.

I stared at the gate and pressed a button.

Few seconds after, there was a voice asking me who I was and wanted to see, I explained myself and a moment later, the gate opened on its own.

I walked inside slowly and i was in total awe of what I Saw. I walked around and took my time to slowly absorb the beauty of his home.

It was all about nature. They had a beautiful garden in the center of the house with parrots and other beautiful birds dancing around it happily.

I quickly dragged myself out of my day dream and began walking towards the front porch.

Nothing surprising tho, his parents were very rich and was one of the board members in the school.

I took a deep breath in and then released it, I adjusted my nerdy glasses and then pressed the door bell.

I kept my eyes glued to the floor and then the door opened.

I slowly began to lift my eyes up and noticed it was a males feet so I assumed it was Aaron, but when I looked up, I met someone else standing there shirtless; it was Aaron's Best friend - Josh!

Usually, whenever Josh took off his shirt in school during swimming competitions, all the girls around will scream and squeal , some of them would even faint, but honestly, now I'm staring at it closer, I really wasn't seeing what was so captivating.

It was just a well built muscular abs ,that's all.

I quickly stopped staring and looked him in the face.

"Hi" I said.

"Hey ...uhhh"

"Brittney" I said.

"Yeah, what's up, here to see Aaron?" he asked.

I nodded.

"Okay well come in, but he's not really available right now, his mother just called him to deliver something important for her, he'll be back soon tho" he explained guesturing me inside.

My protective instinct was kicking, telling me to wait outside, but I shrugged it off and went in .

I stared at the interior, it was way more attractive than the outside.

I walked into the living room and sat on the couch, Josh was too engrossed in whatever he was doing on his phone that he forgot I was still there.

Then he turned to me.

"So how long have you been seeing Aaron?" he asked.

I was taken aback... seeing???!

"What?" I asked surprised.

"Yeah like how long have you two been seeing each other" he asked again.

"Uhm, we are not seeing each other" I answered.

"Oh c'mon he's lying to me and then you too?" he said.

" We are not seeing each other, I'm just here for a different reason" I explained.

"Ohh right, of course how could I mistake it, is this your first time you guys are trying it out, because if it is, please be afraid, Aaron's d**k Is huge" he said and I almost choked on the air.

My mouth hugged unable to close and I didn't even know what to say.

"Stop scaring my tutor Josh" Aaron said walking inside.

I felt honestly relieved.

"Tutor?" he asked surprised.

Aaron rolled his eyes.

"So what were you thinking? I'll bring her over to my house to f**k get? smart move dude" Aaron added.

"I'm sorry, I'm fucken confused right now" Josh said laughing.

"Yeah she's tutoring me, private lessons kinda stuff" Aaron explained.

"Wait that's why you've been going to her table of recent? Dude we literally thought you were trying to bring her to your bed, I was going to ask for the video today" he said laughing.

I rolled my eyes, bunch of pathetic p***y lovers.

I'm sure that's probably what the entire school was thinking.

"Anyways I'll be taking her upstairs" he said taking my hands and leading me away from his psychopath of a friend.

"To your room?" Josh asked in a teasing voice.

"To the Library i***t", he yelled back.

Wait, did he just say library??.

Yes,he did, because few seconds later, I was in a room filled from top to bottom with books.

It had everything; Romance, sci-fi, fantasies, horror, every single thing.

I went to one section and saw all the Shakespeare works ever created.

From Othello, to Romeo and Juliet to The taming of the shrew to Midsummer night's dream to Hamlet, to Cymberline. Everyone of them were here .

He had Pride and Prejudice Wuthering Height, She stoops to conquer, everything related to novel,. he had it all.

Honestly I was gonna tell my parents to bring me here on my last day on Earth,I would be honored to die in a place like this.

"Like what you see?" he asked from behind me.

I nodded

"I thought as much, looks like something you're really attracted to" he said .

"how come you have so much novels here?" I asked.

"uhhhh, family inheritance" he said.

I was so caught up with admiration that I forgot I was supposed to have lessons with him today.

"So uhm, what exactly is your problem with literature, I mean, you have a house library and all" I said.

"It's not all about reading it, I mean what if you don't believe what you're reading" he said .

I turned around and looked at him confused.

"Why are you doing literature anyway? you look like all these science geeks and all" I said.

"Uhh, well, another stupid family inheritance,I'm supposed to take over this publishing company that blah blah blah passed down to blah blah blah and I kinda need an excellent result to impress my grandad so... yeah" he explained.

"Okay so what exactly is your problem" I asked.

He sighed.

"Literature is supposed to be more like expression of emotions and all, and I'm supposed to write a review on someone's emotions for example, what if I don't believe what the person put down, what if it looks so unrealistic, how am I supposed to explain something that I don't believe in?"

He sounded so weird saying all those, it was weird to hear Aaron, Asin the almighty Aaron talk about emotions like it was something real.

Emotions... something I don't think I have.

I cleared my throat.

"Okay, let's see how good you are at identifying emotions"

I picked a pen and paper from the table and sat on it.

I wrote a poem and gave it to him.

"Read this and give a review on it, realistic? or just fiction?"

He began to read it;

" I'm under the rain again

I'm watching the Moon again

I'm crying again

I'm in pain again

I'm struggling to breath again

And I'm still going to die again

Why do I bother trying to live

When I know life is still going

to slip

Why trying to survive, knowing

that my life is all a lie?

what's the point living

when we know we are all going

to die?"

He exhaled.

"It's very realistic, it sounds like depression...no wait, like the writer is suffering from something that was not explained but causes pain and regrets living or being alive because the writer feels like death is still going to come" he said.

I smiled sadly, he just explained my life story without even realizing.

"That's actually pretty good, so what exactly is the problem because I still don't understand" I said.

"What you just wrote about is realistic, sometimes I feel it too, that's why i was able to explain.

But they're not gonna ask me to explain stuffs like this, they are going to ask me stuffs like Romeo and Juliet and how he feels Butterflies for her, how's that even possible?"

I giggled a Little.

"So wait, you don't know how to explain love novels because what? you don't believe in it?" I tried to understand.

"Not like I don't believe in it , but like okay writers are always talking about how love is the strongest thing in the world and can destroy and build someone and has the ability to drive someone insane and all. Honestly, I don't think there is any way I'll fall in love with someone and go insane for the person or something, it sounds so cringe and all . Like how the f**k do you get butterflies in your tummy over someone? How can you not sleep because of someone's absence...geez.

And then I don't understand the inspiration behind all those love shits, so when I'm told to write about it, I can't,do you understand me?"

I didn't even realize when I started smiling.

"What's amusing about what I said?" he asked.

"I'm Sorry but, it's just funny how I've read like over 3000 books and about 2000 being love novels and all and i can comfortably rewrite any Shakespeare's work with ease.

You don't have to believe in something to explain it, just go with the already put explanation"

"And what if it has something to do with your personal thought, like imagine if you were asked to write a love poem or something. " he said.

"So wait, your problem is writing something related to love?" I asked.

He bit his lip and raked his hair.

"I think so"

"Why so hard then?"

"Because this love thing looks so unbelievably, like I don't know" he said.

"You've never been in love?" I asked him.

He shook his head negatively.

"Love isn't all about that feeling you get when you're with someone or whatever, I mean let's talk about your parents, they love you a lot" I said.

He scoffed.

"Yeah my mom does, not my parent, let's not even go there" he said.

"Okay, now imagine the beautiful love your mother has for you, that's very real" I said.

"But that's not the kinda love we are talking about here" he said.

I sighed defeated.

Honestly, I didn't even know what to use to defend myself because even I that was talking hadn't even fallen in love, hadn't even thought about it before.

How was I supposed to convince someone about something I hadn't even experienced.

"Okay you know what?, here's a little homework, do a book review on Romeo and Juliet, based on their actions and all, explain their characters and all, we'll get to understand them better and why they acted the way they did" I said.

He nodded.

"I'll try not to change the story again" he said.

"What do you mean?"

"Well my last literature tutor gave me the same assignment one time and instead of reviewing it, I changed the whole story because it was cringe" he said.

I laughed , "Do you know what's gonna be so funny? if one day you eventually find someone you'll go crazy for" I said.

"I'm not saying I'm not going to fall in love, I might, but whoever that person is, the person did something crazy , really crazy to change my perspective" he said.

"You should read more romance novels, they'll shape your thoughts" I said.

"There isn't anything I haven't read at least 10 pages of in this library, trust me" , he said.

"Since when did you start reading novels?" I asked.

"Since the day I could tie my shoes lace on my own, My mom started creating this library when she was a child and anytime she bought a book and read it, she would put it here, until it because this big and massive" he explained.

"So your mom has read every single book in this place?" I asked surprised.

He nodded.

"Wow, I'd love to meet your Mom, sh should be my new hero" I said and he laughed.

I paid attention to his face for the first time since I've known him.

I would actually categorize him as someone that was handsome, very very handsome.

Brown hair, blue eyes, pink lips, dimples. He worth the attention he got from school and all the girls, but it was a little too much.

Then my phone rang, I checked the caller ID and it was my dad.

"Hey dad" I said.

"Hey sweetie, where are you?"

"Uhh, I just uhm, passed by someone's house in the neighborhood for a short lesson" I explained.

"Oh,is it that cute boy I saw you talking with the other day, no way" he said sounding like some highschool teenager.

I immediately regretted putting the phone on speaker.

I saw Aaron smile...no wait, smirk.

"Dad I'll be home very soon, love you, bye" I said and quickly cut the call.

"Your dad sounds cool" he complimented.

"You're just saying that cuz he said you were cute" I accused.

"Well he wasn't wrong" he said smirking.

I rolled my eyes and chuckled.

"How come you're so, introverted" he asked me.

I shrugged.

"I don't know, guess I'm just like that"

"No like, I've met introverts before and yours is like very bad I mean, if I never walked up to you that day in Caf, we would have never had a conversation till we both graduate?" he asked.

"I guess so"

"I don't see you around people" he said.

" I don't have friends" I said.

". seriously? you know like, I've always known you as that gingered hair girl that seats in the front roll and topped the class. You're always the first to come in and the first to leave, I didn't even know your name until Mrs Benson said it the other day. You're so on your own, you don't even try talking to people at all" he accused and I laughed.

"I don't know, I'm just like that" I said

"When was the last time you had fun?" he asked.

"Reading novels is fun" I said grinning.

"I mean actual fun like go out and stuff" he said.

"I don't leave my house" I stated.

He opened his eyes in shock.

"f**k your parents must be so happy I finally dragged you out of your cave,I'm sure when they see me they'll give me a tight hug" he joked and I laughed so hard.

I couldn't remember the last time I laughed this way, with so much joy in me.

"You really need to get a life Brittney, I mean very soon you'll be off to college and then there's no more time to have fun, make use of it now" he said seriously.

Well either way, I wasn't going to even get to college to even start a life to begin with, so it was a total waste of time.

I just smiled and nodded like I always do.

I stared at my phone, it was past 8, I should get going.

"I should get going" I said standing up.

"Let me drop you off then" he suggested.

"oh no , my house isn't so far from here" I said.

"I insist" he said.

I paused for a moment and then gave in.

He led the way and we went downstairs, I followed him behind.

We got to the living room and Josh was there but with some brunette girl I think I've seen from school.

Wait I thought Josh was dating Kenzie?

"Dude cuz my mom's not around doesn't mean you can bring someone over and rub her ass on my couch" Aaron said.

"I don't usually complain when you bring yours over to mine" Josh said smirking.

Aaron rolled his eyes.

"Get her out before I'm back" he said walking me outside.

"Hope you have fun with your 'tutor' dude." he teased.

"f**k you dickhead" Aaron said as we walked out.

He opened his car and I entered.

We drove off quietly and I directed him to my house.

He dropped me off.

"Good night Brittney" he said

"Good night Aaron"