To live and to die

chapter 7

When I opened my eyes, I met myself in my usual hospital Ward on my usual bed. I sighed and rolled slowly...wish I had died this time.

I saw my mom sitting by my side smiling at me, probably happy that I made it alive.

"How long was I off this time?" I asked.

"Just the night, the doctor said you could go home later today, but I don't think you should go to school tomorrow, you should rest." she said.

I nodded.

We were quiet.

"Can't you guys just stop doing this" I said.

She looked at me confused.

"Doing what?"

"Keeping me alive, Taking me to the hospital, trying to see if I can survive. Mom you're literally wasting money on me, it's a total waste, I'm still gonna die in the end so what is the use" said pained.

"Don't say that honey, you're not going to die, I believe you won't, you're a strong girl, you can fight" My dad said from the other side of the room.

I scoffed... strong girl..I was tired of hearing that, tired of people telling me that.

"Well I'm tired, I'm tired of fighting, I've been fighting for the past 11 years, I'm tired, I wanna go" I said near tears.

"Don't say that honey, don't say that at all, please . You're not going anywhere, you're going to survive this" My mother said.

"When?,no when exactly? I have one more birthday on this Earth and you guys are telling me I'm going to survive" I sobbed.

I wasn't supposed to be talking like this, I was supposed to show no emotions and be strong for my parents, but I can't, I can't when the reality is right in front of me. I couldn't lie to myself, there was no point lying...I was gonna die.

"Don't you think I wish to live a normal life? but look at me, I mean I'm already a burden to you, why add other people into this, that's why I choose not to make friends,. because I don't want anyone missing me,I don't want anyone crying over my grave and two weeks later everything is over. I'm tired, just start moving on without me, start finding your son back so you won't feel my absence so much, because I can't do this anymore. I can't" . Tears were already pouring out of my mother's eyed.

"Brittney the doctor said..." my dad started.

"Forget the doctors dad..."

"No... there's a way to help, but it's very risky..."

"Then don't risk it, don't squander your life savings on me, what if after everything I still die? what's the use? just forget about me" I said allowing tears stream down my eyes.

??????

I didn't go to school the next day,. I just stayed at home and read novels and ate noodles.

I also didn't go to school the next day,not because I was sick or anything,. I just didn't feel like going, my parents didn't question that, they knew I wanted space, and I was glad they gave me.

Few minutes past 6, I heard the door bell ring.

I went downstairs to check who it was, I opened the door and almost jumped, it was Aaron.

"Hey?" he said In a questioning look.

"Uhh..hi" I stuttered.

"Uh... wasn't expecting you here, any problem" I asked.

"Yeah, first of all, today is Tuesday

and we were supposed to meet"

I slapped my forehead, f**k I forgot I had lessons with him today.

"And..." he continued.

"I didn't see you in school yesterday, and today, then I didn't see you over at my place for lessons so..I got worried" he explained.

My heart melted...for the first time I was hearing that from someone that wasn't my parents, it felt so good and weird at the same time.

"I'm sorry, I uhm,I forgot we had classes, I uhhh....was sick..had a fever....but I'm okay now" I lied.

"Are you sure you're okay?" he asked again. I then thought about dying in some months from now and laughed sadly in my head.

"Yeah, I am" I lied again.

What? don't look at me like that, you don't seriously expect me to tell him that I almost died again? tsk, no way!

"So uhm, we still gonna have classes today, or we should just shift it to another day?" he asked.

"It's already late" I said staring outside.

Mehn, I just stayed in my room all day listening to Harry styles and reading novels.

"Okay, wanna do something else?" he asked smiling.

"Like what?" I asked.

"Glove world" he said.

" What?" I asked so confused.

"Glove world, you don't know the place?" he asked surprised.

The only glove world I knew was in a cartoon called SpongeBob, and I was certain he wasn't suggesting we enter the television.

"It's an amusement park kinda place, they're having a book carnival unction , lasts years own was amazing, I got about 50 amazing books for just 100 dollars" he explained.

"Seriously?" I said very much interested.

"Yeah, they're opening by 7:30, it's a 20 minutes drive from here" he said.

Then I paused, I hadn't gone to any amusement park since I was a kid, and I would love to go there, mostly so I could get the books and add it to my collection before I die, but for some reason, I was just scared.

"I don't know" I said thinking.

But almost immediately, my parents drove in.

I groaned because I knew they were going to force me to go to the carnival.

Then they approached Aaron and I and I gave them the ' do not fucken embarrass me' kinda eye and they understood.

"Hey Mom, hey dad, this is Aaron, Aaron these are my parents" I said.

"Pleasure to meet you both" he said in a very respectful manner.

Sadly, that alone won their hearts.

"Nice to meet you too Aaron, hope there isn't any problem?" my mother asked.

"No, I just came to check up on her because she missed school yesterday and today" he said.

Which was weird because I had even missed school for a whole week once and no one even noticed.

"Oh thank you so much Aaron, that's so nice of you, won't you like to come in?" she asked.

I groaned inwardly because I had already lost.

"Oh no thank you, I'm actually leaving very soon, I just came to ask her if she could come with me to a book carnival" he said.

"Oh, the one at glove world, well of course she will, she loves novels" my father said.

"I will?" I asked between teeth.

"Yes you will, now go along, go have fun, be back before midnight, enjoy" my parents said and shut the house door behind me and locked it.

Nice game Hamptons, nice game, you played your cards real good.

I turned back to Aaron who was grinning in front of me exposing his cute dimples.

"So I'll take that as I yes" he said.

I rolled my eyes and giggled.

"I hate my parents" I said smiling.

"I'll trade them for mine anytime" he said and led me to his car.

I turned back and went to the door and told my parents to open up that I wanted my purse and some money.

But guess what, they didn't open the door, they threw it through the window upstairs and told me to have fun.

I grumbled and went back to Aaron's car.

"They must really want you out of the house" he said.

"Trust me, they do" I said