The Center of Cosmos

CHAPTER FORTY-TWO

Chapter Forty-Two

Mathew feels nauseous because he doesn’t have proper sleep for a week, he’s trying his very best to free Celine from being imprisoned. But, he cannot decide who to choose, his father or Celine? Which one? Could he be able to abandon one of them?

He felt frustrated and helpless that he felt his head aching terribly.

“Your majesty,” Lucas called, “You don’t look well, should I call the imperial doctor?” he asks.

“There’s no need,” he replied as he lean his back on his chair and pinch the bridge of his nose.

“Your majesty, you need to take care of your health,” Casis uttered.

“Yes I am aware but this time I have other responsibilities I need to do first,” Mathew answered, “Thank you for worrying Casis,” he added and smiled at him.

“But your majesty, you look so pale, you didn’t even take breakfast today as well. Please don’t be too harsh on yourself, everything that happened is not your fault,” Casis responded.

“…Even if it’s not, I’m still guilty Casis,” he said.

“Your majesty, give your father enough time to cool his temper. And Celine, god knows, we're trying our best to make sure she’s fine and away from harm. If Celine knows your poor well-being, I’m sure she’ll get mad…well, even if she doesn’t have any emotions plastered on her face every time, but I’m sure, she will,” Nathan said.

Mathew breathes in defeat.

“I couldn’t… just couldn’t stand looking at her behind that cold metal bars and my father wouldn’t understand that,” he said.

“Your majesty, please don’t think too much that could make you sick, for the meantime please let the imperial doctor check you,” Allen suggested.

“I’m fine,” he answered, “Please leave me alone,” he requested.

Everyone leaves his office and as soon as he heard the door closed he turned his chair around facing the big glass window behind him.

It’s already been the second month before the world ends. The dwarves agreed to help them and the training of the imperial knights had already started. His mother and sister always visit Celine in the dungeon and then come to him after to inform him that she’s fine. Meanwhile, he, who cannot even visit her all the time because of his imperial duties made him feel even more guilty and useless as her master.

A sudden knock startled him from thinking.

“Come in,” Mathew said.

The door opened and his mother, Elena steps inside his office.

Her face was restless and like him was pale and unhappy.

“Mother,” he uttered and stood up from his seat, “why are you here? Can I help you with something?” he asks.

His mother approaches him and smiled.

“I’m just visiting my son and wanted to know how he is right now?” she ask as she patted his shoulder.

Mathew sigh and smiled back.

“…I’m, I’m fine mother,” Mathew answered.

“Lying again?” she uttered and smiled as if she knows he’s not.

It took him a while to answer, “…Mother, I don’t know what to do anymore,” he began, “How will I be able to help Celine get out from being imprisoned without abandoning my father’s feelings? How will I be able to tell the world that the world is ending? How can I save everyone?” Mathew added.

“Mathew, you don’t need to have perfect solutions for every problem you encounter. Just do what you need to do,” His mother answered, “I’ll take care of your father,” she added.

“But I hope, I hope Mathew, that despite everything that’s happening, please don’t hate your father,” Elena continued to say almost like a whisper as her voice started to c***k.

He became silent for a moment, asking himself.

‘Did I hate him?’ he thought, ‘Do I hate my father?’ he ask himself again.

But no matter how deep he digs the answer in his heart, he couldn’t find it.

He knew he didn’t hate his father even once.

“I don’t hate him, not even once mother. I admit I’m angry at him for not being able to understand the situation and my feelings…but somehow, deep inside me, I understand him,” Mathew answered with a softened facial expression, “Even if he disowned me, I won’t hate him for that, rather, it will make me hate myself even more,” he added.

His mother’s tears run down from her eyes upon hearing her son’s words.

“Mathew, are you holding everything in your heart for a long time? To the point where you wanted to throw yourself that much?” she ask in pain.

He did not respond.

“I… I’m sorry,” she mumbled and sobbed.

“I’m sorry mother, this is how helpless I am,” Mathew responded as he lowered his head.

“No don’t,” His mother uttered, “Don’t lower your head, Mathew, not in front of me, you are my son. You are my beloved son, always remember that,” she whispered.

Mathew met her eyes.

“I’m sorry mother,” he replied.

“No, don’t apologize for what you feel. There’s nothing for you to apologize for. If you hate yourself, then I will love it for you, even if you learned to accept who you are again, I’m still here,” she announced.

Mathew smiled.

“Then I’ll make sure to fix myself even better because you’re here mother,” he answered.

His mother cried again.

“Thank you, Mathew, thank you,” She sobs, “And please eat your meals properly, you’re getting thin,” she said in between her sobs.

Mathew chuckled.

“…Yes I will mother,” he replied and give her his handkerchief, “Please don’t cry anymore,” he uttered.

Her mother took the handkerchief in his hand and wipes her tears.

“Please take care of your health,” she requested.

“Yes, I will.”

It’s been a week since she was imprisoned. The royal princess and her mother always visit her just to make sure she’s fine and always say Mathew is doing his best to get her out from there.

She sits on the bed and looks at the dark sky through the small window secured by cold metal bars as she leans her back on the cold wall she let out a breath.

‘It’s already night huh? Is my master doing fine?’ she thought as she gazes at her hands still tied up.

Her master ordered the knights to untie her, but she refuses.

‘If he unties this, I’m sure his father will be upset again and try to disown him, I’m sure it would make him depressed,’ her inner self whispered.

It’s been three days since his last visit to her, she’s eager to see his face once again.

The dungeon is dark and the only thing that’s lighting the place are the torches on every pillar of its hallway.

She kept on staring at the dark sky through the small window.

“Celine?” A voice called.

She immediately glances at the man standing outside the cold metal bars. Upon seeing him, she hurriedly stands from her bed and tried to approach him but she fell to the ground.

She forgot that her feet were chained as well.

“Master,” she mumbled lying on the ground but facing him.

Mathew immediately commanded the knights to open the door for him, and as soon as it opened, he hurriedly barge inside scooping Celine in his arms.

“I’m sorry,” he whispered with a trembling voice.

“Don’t be,” she whispered back, “You look unwell,” she added and manages to touch his face through her fingertips despite her tied hands.

“I’m sorry that I can’t heal you right now, but when everything is fine, I’ll make sure to help you,” Celine continued to say.

“You became thinner here, they said that you eat less. Please eat your meals properly Celine, I promise to get you out from here as soon as possible, so take care of your health,” Mathew uttered.

“I’m fine, that is how normally I eat master, and besides your mother and sister, as well as Lucas and the three kings always visits me here to make sure I’m okay so do not worry,” she answered, “How about you? They said you are being too harsh on yourself lately,” Celine added.

“I—”

“Don’t lie,” she interrupted making him chuckle.

“I’m sorry,” he uttered, “I’ll try my very best to take care of myself,” Mathew added.

Celine did not respond instead, she leans her head on his chest.

“You can put me down now, aren’t you tired?” she mumbled.

He laughs again.

“Fine,” he answered and put her down gently.

“How are you?” Celine asks again.

“It’s…suffocating for me every time,” he answered as they both sits on the small bed.

“Just as I thought,” she replied and stared at him.

“My father avoids me, and the leader of the dwarves always point out that my decisions aren’t rational because of you, fortunately, Allen and the rest always defended me so… I’m fine somehow,” he said.

“Yes, everything will be fine for all of us, I’m certain about that?” she replied.

“…I see that you’re being optimistic, I’m glad to know that,” Mathew responded and smiled.

“I’m not optimistic, I’m telling the truth, master,” she answered, “I am very certain because we have each other,” she added.

Mathew smiled, “yes you’re right.”

Celine pats his back with a serious facial expression.

“You can just punch that red-headed little old man straight in the face if he’s being rude to you,” she mumbled and shrug her shoulder.

His eyes widened and then laugh at her statement.

“I’m sure no one will stop you because I know, Lucas and the rest secretly wishes you to do that,” she added.

His laughter prolonged when he heard her words again.

“Yes, I will try that next time,” Mathew responded after his laugh.

“Oh no, don’t hesitate, you have to do it, maybe that man needs a little fix on his head,” she replied.

 Their conversation went a little longer until he needed to leave. As soon as Mathew steps outside the dungeon while his mind is at ease and calm.

He needs to face this no matter what.

‘And I’ll start by making sure you knew where to stand when dealing with me,’ his mind uttered as he saw the face of Sir Milan Vrontier, the leader of the dwarves on the back of his mind.