Chapter 1
1939 Words
Jason
It was hot. Why it was so hot? And what was this under me? I was burning up yet my back was so wet.
“Go…away.”
You can’t get rid of me.
“Go.”
Loser.
“I’m…not”
My head was shaking left and right. Roughly. Harshly.
You hurt her.
“I’m not.”
You will hurt poor Jessica.
“No!” My eyes snapped open. My chest heaved turbulently. I kept staring at the ceiling as I realized I was sweating a lot. “Damn it,” I cursed and got out of bed, heading to the bathroom. I washed my face, harshly rubbing it until it was burning and I gasped. Resting my palms on top of the marble counter, I looked at my reflection in the mirror.
I saw myself, a pair of blue eyes like an azure stone. Dark brown hair and a thin beard.
That was me, not him.
Until I saw the Satan, the one who haunted me every single f*****g day. Giving me a wicked smile. Showing those sinister eyes. Dark optics like pitch black. Mocking me in every worst way possible.
…Failure…
Anger built up again as I punched the mirror with my bare hand. The poor glass cracked and he disappeared, replaced by me again. Me at the broken mirror. Representing me, who was f*****g broken beyond repair. Nothing could repair me. No one could fix me. “f**k! f**k! f**k!” I cursed over and over. Punching the marble over and over until my knuckles were all aching and bruised.
My muscles tightened.
All my veins were ready to explode.
My heart was still beating too fast, abnormally unlike a normal person.
I remembered what my therapist said to calm my mind. I was just going to make everything worse if I kept overthinking things. To not let my mind shut the f**k up.
I closed my eyes. Inhale. Exhale. Inhale. Exhale.
Until I opened my eyes slowly.
Turning off the adrenaline within me was easy, relaxing my mind…I found it difficult. Not when those voices inside my head get louder every single day.
I couldn’t find my peace.
Not when my Satan never allowed me to rest.
***
The next morning, I was heading to my parent's house. I came back to New York because I heard Linda got into an accident but when I arrived, she had disappeared. James told me Alex took her which was…weird.
As far as I knew, Alex never cared about anything or anyone besides himself and his company, and he took Linda with him? Wow. I heard from James Linda lost her memories of Alex, she only recognized her family and friends. Everything and everyone regarding Alex was forgotten. I suspected those two were…involved with each other and James confirmed it.
And to not my surprise, he wasn’t agreed about it. James had always been known to be so protective of Linda. Although he was highly shielding Eva, he wouldn’t let any scumbags near his baby cousin.
Since no one knew where Alex took her, I flew back to England. It was not a waste of time because at least I got to spend my time with my family again, even though it was just for a few days.
I loved my family, I really do. But I didn’t want to spend my time too much with them. I had a job to do and…something else.
I was doing great in London. My father was so proud of me. I didn’t just manage one company but I had expanded one more in Scotland. I didn’t mean to be overconfident, but it was just in my nature and charm. Dad said I deserved a little bit of a reward so he asked me to come home and enjoy my holiday.
I should be happy, weirdly enough…I didn’t.
I could take the holiday but not near them. I stopped my McLaren in front of their house. My father’s Range Rover was parked outside the garage. They were in the house, definitely. Maybe they got attached to their new house.
My parents moved out from Tucson to San Diego right after Cathy got married. Ricardo gifted his wife with a house and unexpectedly, she gave it to our parents. I remembered Mom always wanted to move but since our father’s economical problem, she never forced him. Ricardo’s gift to Cathy was like our mother’s ticket to her dream came true and she chose San Diego as their new home. She didn’t want to stay in New York and Dad agreed. I didn’t think it was a perfect place for them to retire. My sister remained in New York with her husband and their future baby.
I looked at the house again, thinking about whether to go in or not. Well, I had told my parents I would come as soon as I finished my job aka recovered. I didn’t tell them that but I wanted to rest after a long flight from London which was a lame excuse because I usually visited them the second I stepped out of the plane.
Linda was found two months later after she was abducted by Alex. When James found out where she was, me and James went together to pick her up. I remembered I found her in the cemetery and how glad I was because I found her. But then, it happened too quickly. I only saw black. I cracked and poof. I was gone. And when I woke up, I was in the hospital.
I was injured pretty badly so I needed two weeks to heal completely. I couldn’t let my parents see my injury or Mom would have a heart attack and Dad would change his occupation into a detective and question me whether I was involved in a fight or underground rings. And I was but I must never tell them.
I closed my eyes, leaning my head on the headrest.
Inhale. Exhale. That’s what Krystal always said. Take a deep breath. Relax the mind.
Until someone knocked on my window, snapping my eyes open, and saw my lovely mother outside. I couldn’t run away anymore as I cut down the engine and got out. “Hi, Mom.” She launched forward and hugged me.
“How are you doing, Jason?”
“Doing fine.” Worse, actually.
“Are you sure?” Damn you, Jason. Don’t act like a p***y. This was me, always having trouble lying to my mother. I lied for my sanity and her sake. I didn’t want to make her worried because of my own problem.
“I’m okay, Mom. There was too much I have to do before I came home and it’s still bothering my mind a bit.”
Mom pushed herself from me and she smiled. Placing her palms on my cheeks and she said, “You deserve credit for your hard work and you should enjoy your holiday. The company won’t fall when you’re having a holiday. You have people you trust to take care of the stuff in London.”
My lips twitched a smile. Mom was right. Yeah, she was right. Because I wasn’t worried about the company. I’d made sure everything before I came home. I trusted the people I had chosen. It was me I didn’t trust at all as the Satan laughed in my mind. I closed my eyes for a second until I faced my lovely mother again. “Is Dad home?”
“Yes. He had prepared a lot of beers for your homecoming.”
“Awesome.” I leaned down to her and kissed her cheek. “I’m home, Mom.”
“Welcome home, sweetheart. Come on in.” She let me go and we both walked inside the house.
“The house is nice.”
“Ricardo has a good taste and we love living here.”
“Is Cathy coming home too?”
“She already did with Ricardo because he had a meeting here and he brought Cathy with him. She was waiting for you here.” Ah, sister. How I missed you so much.
“I’ll be sure to drop by at their house in New York,” I said as I opened the door and allowed her to enter first.
“Charles? He’s home,” she called out to her husband. I looked around, even the inside was amazing. Thanks, Ricardo, for giving this house to them. I walked along the hallway and ended up in the kitchen, finding my father sitting on the stool as he jumped down at the sight of me.
He went to me. “Jason.” Giving me a handshake before we pulled each other for a bear hug. “How are you doing, son?”
“Doing good, Dad.” As we detached from each other, Dad continued to look at me. “I heard everything about Scotland. You did a good job.” I could only smile. “I’ve been pushing you too much so you have to have a holiday for a while.”
“I will.” Dad patted my shoulder and we sat on the stool. Mom presented two bottles of beer as she leaned on the top of the counter. I unscrewed the cap and poured the cold liquid into my throat.
Until she let out her ultimate question. “Is there a girl around lately?” I almost choked and put down the bottle.
“Why you ask, Mom?”
“Just curious. Because I saw you were quite flirty with Ricardo’s secretary back in Cathy’s party.”
“He did?” Dad asked curiously.
“Yes, he did.”
I laughed nervously. “It’s unrequited love, Mom. She’s not interested in me.”
Mom gasped excitedly. “Tell me everything.”
“Well, like I said, a one-sided love. She doesn’t like me.”
“Nonsense. And rare as well. So finally, there’s a girl you cannot charm.” Maybe that was why I was interested. “How does she look like? And how’s her personality?”
I recalled back about Jessica. The first time I met her was back at James’ engagement party. She had brown hair at first until she dyed it back to her natural hair color; blonde. But her outside appearances were not the reason why I was so into her. It was something more. One look was all I needed. I wanted her. There was something in her grey eyes and I was desperate to know the truth.
You’re hallucinating.
I closed my eyes. Goddamn it, just shut the f**k up!
I opened my lids and looked straight at mom. “Jessica is…delicate and cute. Adorable and innocent-like. She makes me want to protect her, cuddle her, spoil her. Everything I wanted to do with a woman.”
Mom cooed and turned to her husband. “Charles, darling. Our son has fallen. Properly fallen.”
“Maybe about time.” He drank his beer. Another difference between my father toward his children was he was so excited to talk about my love life while he would murder every single man who tried to get closer to his daughter. Well, I was just the same.
I could only laugh and drank my beer again.
Thinking about Jessica, I missed her. I hadn’t seen her again after I arrived in the state. Maybe I was not just going to drop by at my sister’s house, but also visit her husband’s office.
Don’t run away from me again, Jessica. Because I’m coming for you.
- Writer
