UN FULFILLED WISH

JULIAN’S POV

“Hey”, a beautiful voice whispered in my ears. I was lost in a deep thought before that voice brought me back in my senses.

I gathered my thoughts together and turned to the direction where the voice was coming from.

“Hi julian “ Janel greated me with a beautiful smile. She was looking gorgeous that i found myself staring at her forgetting that she greeted

me.

“Hi jualian” she repeated greeting me.

“ Hellow Janel” i responded and gave her a sign to sit down.

Janel is a beautiful and very intelligent girl coming from a wealth family. She is a girl that every man has an eye on. She has a perfect body that looks perfect in whatever the cloth she wears . Even other girls envy her for her beauty. People call her princess but i gave her special name that no one knows even herself doesn’t know. I call her my rose flower.

It’s a long time now since i started having crush on her. I found it difficult opening up to her because i feel like i don’t deserve to have her since am coming from a poor background.

Janel sat down beside me silently without saying a single word.

“ Janel, is everything okay?” I asked her to start a conversation. She nodded her head giving me a sign that everything is okay. When i looked her on the face, her facial expression explained other wise. I saw tears dropping down her cheeks , i was so shocked to see her crying. When i asked her what was the matter, she started sobbing. I decided not to ask her anything and instead i gave her my shoulder to cry on .

She cried for about twenty minutes and afterwards she wore a smiling face and turned to face me.

“Am sorry that i made your shirt dirty “ Janel apologized.

“ it’s okay , don’t mention “ i told her while holding her shoulder.

She hugged me and whispered in my ears “ thank you Julian, you just don’t know how much that meant to me”.

I smiled and told her that i was glad that she appreciated my comfort.

“ do you want to talk about it? “ i asked Janel

“Uuumh...”Janel said but stoped. It was like she wanted to say it but it was hard to tell it out.

“ it’s okay don’t say anything if you don’t want to, you will talk to me when you will be ready”.

FLASHBACK

It was the night before i met with Janel, that night was a painful night ever in my life.

It was the night that i knew the truth about my father . I was raised by my mom till when i was ten years old before she passed away.

I used to ask the whereabout of my father from her but she told me nothing. Each time i ask her about my father, she cries. I decided never to ask her again and instead i decided to find out on my own .

I had no idea of where to start and how to start finding him. I had one aim and that was to know him and even meet him if that was possible. I wanted to know how he looks like and wanted to hear his voice once in my life time. I wanted to know how it feel like calling someone father.

When i was ten years old , my mother passed away . It was like a nightmare to me. I never expected to loose her early like that. She was not only my mother but she was my life. She was all that i had. Now , i was left all alone in this hungry world. I was just ten years old and i was already an adult. I had to find food for myself and i had to take care of myself in every aspect of life. It was really hard for me but i survived that.

One day as i was cleaning my mother’s room, i saw some pictures and a letter.

My name was written on the envelope in capital letters and there was a sentence saying “ you have to read this letter “

I opened the letter and started reading it. It was as follows:

Dear Julian,

Am sorry that i took too long to tell you this. I was scared to face you after you know this truth. Now that am not by your side, i think it is the best time for you to know the truth.

I and your father never got married, i met your father when i was in my second year in Muhimbili university of health and allied sciences. I fell for him just the first day i saw him, he did the same to me and that is how our relationship begun. We loved each other so very much that i can’t recall all the bad things that he did to me. Our life was full of love, happiness, surprises and all the good things that can happen in a relationship. At that time, your father was a fourth year student at Dar es salaam university. You might be surprised how we met when we didn’t study in the same university right?. Okay, we met when he came to visit his friend in my university. We met by a coincidence that day and we exchanged numbers. We were so loving in a way that people admired our couple. We lasted in a relationship for five months after we met before i got pregnant. When i found that i was pregnant, i was not scared since i knew that i have your father who will be there to support me when things become hard. I never told you about your grandparents right?. My parents died when i was in a level. They were good economically but when they died, everything was taken away by their relatives without leaving anything to me. And when i got home after graduating my a level studies, i was chased out of the house having nowhere to go. I called my friend and she welcomed me to her house . Thanks to God , i performed my a level studies and got admission to study at MUHAS with full funded scholarships.

So when i went to tell your father about my pregnancy, he became angry and started to shout at me. He was very furious and he blamed me for carrying pregnant. He told me that he never loved me, he was just pretending to love me so as he can use me as he wants. He also said that being with me was a prestige to him for he was praised by his friends for having a beautiful girl as me. He said in his life, he can’t risk his life marrying an orphan. His home will never be an orphan age. He wants to marry a person who has both parents so as his kids will never lack grandparents also he wants to marry a rich person like him so as their life will be much better. After saying those words he chased me out of his room and he promised to come after me to make me abort you .He said he doesn’t want to leave any mark that he once was dating me.

That day , was the day that i thought i was dreaming with my eyes open. I thought everything that was happening was illusion. I didn’t believe that it was real. I lost control and fainted. When i woke up , i found myself on the hospital bed . The nurse told me that i have been laying there for a week. I asked for my bag but i was told that i was brought to the hospital with nothing more than the clothes i was wearing.

Hearing that, i realized that everything important to me was stolen. Meaning, i lost my phone, my money and my bank card. I started crying and there was no one to comfort me. I was discharged that day and decided to go back hostel. When i reached there, i was told that i have to report to the dean’s office. I didn’t think much and wasn’t worried much since i never had any bad case and my performances in class were dope.

I started my journey going to dean’s office, i told the secretary that i had appointment to talk to the dean when i arrived and she let me in. I knocked the door and the dean welcome me in.

He offered me a place to sit and i sat down. He then told me that my sponsors have heard about me being pregnant thus they have deprived my scholarships. So i was just given a day to pack my belongings and move out of the hostel plus never to be seen any place in the campus unless i pay for my fees. Things were going very fast and i don’t even know how they found about this. I was lost in love till i forgot that one of the condition for my scholarships was never get pregnant until i graduate my studies.

I walked out of dean’s office slowly and confused. Many things were running in my mind. I was thinking what to do and where to go plus i was trying to figure out who might have told my sponsors.

As i reached in my hostel room, i saw a note on my studying table, it was from your father telling me that he was the one that knew about my scholarships conditions and thus he told my sponsors so as to destroy my future since he couldn’t make me abort you . He kept on saying he will do much more just to make me live a miserable life .

I cried badly after i discovered that the person who i really loved is now trying to destroy my life.

I wanted to end my life before i could face all the bad deeds that your father wanted planned to do for me. What i remember, i went out of my hostel room and stood in the middle of the road ready to be smashed by a car. I closed my eyes and said my last prayers as i saw a car moving fast coming to my direction. I actually don’t remember what happened that day but i remember waking up in unfamiliar environment with un familiar people around me.

JULIAN’S POV AFTER READING THE LETTER

I couldn’t finish reading that later to the end. I had a lot of things running in my mind as i was reading it. Can’t deny i wanted to know what happened to my mom afterwards and also wanted to know how did she manage to take care of me till i grew up like this . Lots of questions were running in my mind and the answers to them are in that letter.

I folded the letter and returned it in the drawer. I couldn’t believe that i had a father, am now burning to see him. I wish to hold his face and call him dad. But when the thought of what he did crossed my mind , all the wishes vanished from my mind. And all am left with toward him is a revenge. I must avenge my mother for all what my dad did to her. I have written this promise in my mind and i will make sure to fulfill it by any means.

I went out of the house and ran to the hills, a place where i and Janel usually use as calming place. I love this place because no matter how sad or disappointed i may be if i am in this place i feel relieved. I sat down staring the beauty of the nature before Janel came.