Asmo's Love

In Depth

It was almost fading into evening when I came back to Avian Hills that day.

The sky has been filled with dazzling shades of purple and orange, scattered in a melancholic stream with showers of blue and fading whites over it. The colors marvelously blended with the faint darkness that was already starting to show up from the farthest view of the skyline as I drove past the brown sign board of the town. I was feeling a little bit light-headed as I let the reality sink in. Not that I was really drunk, I was actually more than sober. But the entire two-hour drive from the city and all the traffic had me craving to finally lay my body down on a soft bed.

The clock on the dashboard showed me that it was already past five. I reduced the speed just as I have finally seen the curve heading directly to the empty driveway of the motel. It looked kind of different now that I was seeing the whole place under the day light. Compared to how I had found it last night, the motel looked just normal in the afternoon. It was not as spooky as I had first seen it.

Anyway.

I parked on the driveway with ease. After turning the engine off, I got out of the car immediately and went to the back trunk to get the luggage I had brought with me from the city. I had packed enough clothes to last me for a week, at least. Now, I just have to resettle things with the pending business reports that I still needed to review for the next days to come.

I was about to walked my way towards the entrance of the motel when a middle-aged man in a loose purple shirt and a ball cap in his hand suddenly appeared at a sidewalk nearby. We somehow ended up staring at each other as we caught each other’s sight. He quickly gave me a mean sneer from the distance. And even when I tried to give him a smile, he only glared harder and flipped a finger towards me. I blanched, feeling slightly threatened, as the man just strutted away without even bothering to explain what his sudden offensive gesture was all about. I did not even know what I did wrong for him to treat me the way he just did and it was obviously directed to me since there was no one else standing on the empty scene around us but just him and I. I felt quite bothered about it, deeply frowning, until I had finally reached the glass doors of the motel.

Henry was reading a thick paperback when I entered the place. He only gave me a quick glance underneath those glasses before returning back to what he was doing again without even a greeting or any word. I then approached the counter and casually put down a sandwich packed in a small bag in front of him and sighed. It somehow caught his attention and he finally set the book aside.

He took note of the food and glanced up to me with a raised brow.

“That is for you,” I said, answering his silent question. He still didn’t show any signs of human reaction. He just continued to blankly regard me with an unfazed look.

“Did you find what you were looking for?” he immediately asked.

“That’s for being the first and only person who was considerably nice to me so far,” I said to him, explaining the sandwich but still refusing to answer his question, “I’m starting to like your stoic attitude now, better than the offensive glare I’ve just received outside.”

“Hmn.”

It was all he uttered back. Not much of a word, it was, but I still took the noncommittal response as a sign of his friendly sympathy. I bowed my head down on the cold wooden top of the counter between us and sighed again.

“I didn’t know that I was actually signing myself up for an extreme animosity. And all because I just decided to stay for a while in this town.”

“Hmn.” Henry just hummed again, and I already assumed that the mere sound he kept making was his own way of saying, ‘I told you so’. I winced back, feeling even more discouraged.

 “So do you know where Nari lives?” I asked instead. I pulled my head up again and expectantly stared at him.

Henry just gazed back at me with a poker face, his eyes not merely moving an inch. I soon found myself getting distracted by the whole bravado. It was kind of amazing how his unwavering voided expression remained intact since the very first minute I had met him last night. It was impressive, I have to admit. I bet he could even play any gambling game without totally giving away anything and just easily win straight sets while still keeping up with that calm façade.

It was kind of funny yet still amazing at the same time. But I don’t even know why I was suddenly thinking to myself about the entire thing at all. Maybe the ridiculousness of the things that has been happening to me recently was really affecting me way harder than I had expected.

 “What’s funny?”

 I had not even realize that I was already chortling to myself until Henry gave me a displeased frown.

“Nothing,” I sighed, briefly cutting off my weak chuckles. I looked up and met his expressionless eyes, “I think the whole weirdness of this town was finally getting into me.”

“One thing you should really be worried of,” he languidly remarked with a roll of his eye. “I don’t really get what’s the intense need of meeting Miss Hiden will give you. But then I have been in this town my whole life, so I don’t find that remotely weird anymore,” he added with a shrug, looking completely bored and indifferent.

“I totally understand the whole demented gist of your obsession in a way,” he went on, “I guess, people are just inevitably driven by their irrational judgments sometimes. It’s kind of insane, if you actually think about it. Yet, to live and think is such an absurd analogy.”

I laughed upon hearing that immensely cynical opinion, which had just suddenly popped right in the middle of our conversation out of nowhere. But still, I have to give him a credit for that. It was weirdly agreeable because what he said was kind of accurate too. I admit, common sense is quite overrated, if you ask me. But what was really amusing about this whole ordeal, was to hear it all from this kid’s mouth. I would have never expected him to come up with such a wild understanding about the world when in fact he just looked like he had finished his high school not too long ago.

I let my laughter die down as I smirked back to his face.

“You think you’re so smart, huh?” I snidely retorted, teasing.

“Well, I’m just being honest, that’s all.”

“Fair enough,” I shrugged back and sighed again.

“So where does Nari live?”

Upon the raise of my repeated question, a spark of mischievousness passed over Henry’s eyes and he placidly crossed his arms over his chest with a ghost of a smile drawn on his lips. I raised a brow, taking note of his sudden gesture, and leaned back.

“What will you do if I tell you now?” he voiced out in a challenge.

“I’ll go after her.”

“Then it might not be a good idea at all,” he answered too quickly, shaking his head. My mouth hung open as I gaped back at him.

“Why not?”

“You can still go to the pub tonight to meet her,” he advised to me instead, not even making any sense now. “She’s a regular performer there, but only from Friday to Sunday nights. The rest of the week, she’s off. That’s all I can say, anyway.”

I felt a sudden rouse of annoyance and impatience as I was left dumbfounded after his blunt refusal to relieve me of my dilemma and I tried to push down the rush of urging violence that somehow sprung out of me.

“You can’t just leave me hanging like that, kid. You didn’t even answer the real question.” I demanded, fuming with anger across the counter. But the young guy just gave me a clever smirk and I felt even more triggered.

“Huh,” I huffed in obvious annoyance, “You’re enjoying this?”

“More than the boring plot of this book? Yeah,” Henry remarked with an innocent face, referring to the paperback he was just reading a while ago. “I just see your flawed character way more interesting than this classic novel. It actually makes me wonder a little and feel thrilled with what’s about to come for you, Mr. Takagi.”

My nose flared as I tried to control myself from grabbing the collar of this kid and shake the hell out of him.

“You think this is funny?” I grumbled back, stepping away from the counter. And the kid just laughed.

“Just be sure to make your next meeting as interesting as the first one.” He taunted back and I scowled even harder, shooting daggers his way.

“Alright,” I forced a smile back, replying in a displeased tone, yet my jaw hardened. A nerve ticked at the side of my head.

Henry laughed again and ignored my glare. I moved away and grudgingly picked up the sandwich that had been resting on the counter between us and brought it with me as I turned around. He stopped laughing and watched me with a startled look as I marched towards the stairs, leaving without a word.

“Hey,” he called out after a second, “You said that was for me.”

I stopped mid-step and turned to glare at him.

“Not anymore,” I replied and glowered, “I take back what I’d said. You’re not really nice at all, kid.”

Turning to finally walk my way up the stairs, I made one last attempt to salvage my ego and muttered an insult before finally leaving him behind without looking back.

“Selfish brat.”

The night eventually came in a blink of an eye, with its darkness falling in shades of black and darker indigo hues. The blinking stars spread unevenly around the fainting glow of the moon beneath the thin patches of gray-colored clouds. I momentarily tried to take it all in, breathing a great deal of uncertainty into my lungs, and only to exhale it out loud for the effort of brushing away all of my jittering nerves. After a moment, I started to heavily walk down the small steps outside the motel. I took one last look over my shoulder and scowled with subtle annoyance as I caught the sight of Henry’s face through the glass doors.

I had coldly ignored his presence behind the receptionist counter when I had passed by the lobby this evening on my way out. Well, it didn’t really matter if I was going to approach him or not, he just kept reading the paperback he had this afternoon and didn’t even look up from the page he was on. A kid that young and almost unfairly too mature for his age could really be irritating in some way, just like now. And I snorted at the sight of his nonchalant ignorance and faced forward instead.

I think I still need to prepare myself first before meeting Nari again at the pub—emotionally and physically. Just remembering the past events of how I had made a total fool of myself in front of the locals last night already had me reeling with extreme repulsion. I can only close my eyes in helpless shame, forcefully pushing the memory back to where it should be.

Forgotten, that is.

As I peeved over my thoughts, I slowly felt more and more nervous and even reluctant with showing myself in front of her again. The embarrassing moment last night sneaked into my head once more and I furiously shut the entire memory off. It was such a nuisance. What an i***t, I was. I sighed grimly, completely disgusted by the reminder.

… People are just inevitably driven by their irrational judgments…

Henry’s words played over my jumbled thoughts, constantly bringing me back to that unusual opinion he had shared this afternoon. It certainly fit my current predicament. Not usually something to completely ease my mind off from this mental struggle but it kind of distracted me for a while as I walked down the dark path towards the pub.

The chilly fog-filled air eventually embraced me into a shivering comfort under the dark cold evening and soon, I heard a faint instrumental sound of jazz music playing engagingly in the background. The mere resonating noise immediately gave me an instant de ja vu—not a really good sign to start this night off but I could no longer force myself to stop walking subconsciously. I soon paused on my tracks as I stood in front of the entrance of the pub, the doors mocking me with a loop of reminder about last night’s replay. Forcing myself to enter through the sliding glass doors, the mellow and retro vibe inside immediately pulled me in. The place was packed tonight, and I almost backed out. However, the thought of seeing Nari again gave me a slight push to start walking again.

I cautiously sauntered my way in, discreetly trying to avoid anyone else ever seeing my presence. Somebody might really recognize me and this thought gave me a slight shiver of fear. I tried to hide my face with my hand while bowing my head as low as I can, carefully dodging every person I might come in contact with. But just when I thought I had worked it all out okay, I soon got trapped into a corner by a big figure who had suddenly appeared in front of me. The situation had me instantly looking up and saw a very huge bearded man with a mean look on his face. He stood tall past my height and I had to strain my neck to meet his eyes. I could already tell that he knew me the moment he stared me down.

“What the hell are you doing here, you fucker?” he angrily snarled, his eyes squinting sharply.

“I-I’m just…”

“Ferrer!”

A sweet-looking woman in a black polo shirt with a mauve-colored apron worn over it, appeared beside him out of nowhere. Her high-pitched voice quickly broke off the awkward tension between me and the big guy, yet having her joining us had me feeling even more trapped than a while ago.

“What are you doing here?” the woman pointedly asked the big bulky guy, her eyes only focusing on him with a reproaching frown, “Didn’t I tell you to never leave the back door unmanned?”

“What the hell, Chris? I’m still on break.”

“I’m the boss here, have you forgotten? And you’re actually paid to follow my orders. Now off,” she sternly commanded him, pushing him back as she steered him away. Surprisingly, the guy just took off without any other word. But before he finally turned around, he still gave me a deathly glare.

“Sorry about that,” the woman, who had been called Chris, told me after the guy disappeared.

I just smiled apologetically to her, not really sure of how to respond after that. I soon noticed a few locals looking our way and they were all glaring at me with disapproval frowns from their tables. I tried to not be bothered by it but I could still feel them staring and it just made me even more uncomfortable. I shifted and looked down to my feet instead, confused of what to do next.

“Come on,” I soon heard Chris say over the murmuring noises and the faint music in the background. I quickly looked up and frowned at her but she just motioned her hand at me. “I’ve got a vacant table at the back for you. It’s more convenient there.”

I hesitantly moved, skeptic of her unusual kindness.

“What? Don’t be shy. The spot is kind of separated from the rest of the tables,” she went on, “But it’ll do. Trust me.”

Unable to think anymore, I just silently followed her lead as she brought us to a very isolated corner beside the bar counter. She then turned around to look at me as she stopped in front of a one-seater table.

“You’re all by yourself, right?”

“Y-yeah,” I sheepishly took the seat she had offered, giving her a discreet smile of appreciation.

“Beer? Coffee? Or maybe you like some chips? We don’t usually serve meals here but I can manage something for you, if you want.” She cheerfully offered, smiling so casually. It really looked like a sincere gesture and I felt extremely flattered because it was actually the very first warm smile I have ever received in this town since yesterday (Henry was all just blank stares, anyway). I almost wept joyfully upon finally seeing a normal friendly face in a sea of disdainful and threatening glances.

“Why are you being so nice to me?”

“Why shouldn’t I?”

“Well,” I hesitated, “I’m an outsider.”

“So? What’s wrong with that?”

Her remark left me conflicted and I paused for a second.

“I guess, you’re just really nice.”

Chris laughed at my words and she playfully hit me on the shoulder, her eyes almost disappearing as they crinkled. The entire weirdness of the town slowly puffed out into smoke before my very eyes. Maybe what Henry had told me about the whole town hating outsiders was not entirely accurate. Chris does not seem to even mind me being there.

“I’ll give you a beer for being sweet. It’s on the house. I like that you’re funny.”

“Are you sure?” I asked her in doubt, still unable to brush off the feeling of mistrust since she was really being too inconsiderably nice.

“Ignore the people here,” she just said, her smile not even wavering. “They’re all cynics. I, for a change, is a romantic. And I sincerely admire your courage last night. It has been the very first time I’ve ever seen a guy do such a thing for a woman. Really.”

I blushed, and somehow, her words felt even more embarrassing for me. It was so much worse than just being on the receiving end of the glares the whole time.

“T-thanks,” I said shyly.

Chris just nodded, chuckling again as she promised to get back to me with the drink before she finally left me alone to attend to others’ tables. I watched her with slight amusement as she moved freely around the place, approaching customers and laughing with others. She was one of a kind, it seemed. And now that she had changed the whole unwelcoming atmosphere to me, I finally felt much calmer now than the last night. Though I still tried to ignore the scowling glances directed at me every now and then, it felt no harm anymore.

The glares never really mean anything to me. I was just here for Nari.