When You Were Mine

Chapter Two

Chapter Two

I'm not sure how long I stare at the screen in front of me, the semester's economics syllabus in neatly arranged bullet points with dates that make no sense to me now, before Sydney's voice penetrates the echo in my brain.

Engaged .

"Kelly says they met when Michael was delivering dinner to the Norrises, because you know how the diner always sends food to people who can't get out, which seems like a lot of people anymore. You know that the average age of Valley Vale residents is like forty? Everyone is getting so old!"

She's being ridiculous, but she's s eventeen , so I need to give her the benefit of the doubt. What was I doing when I was her age? Following Michael around, our hands intertwined, dreaming of our big white wedding with fluffy pink peonies in my bouquet.

My mother said peonies attract ants, so it wasn't a very practical daydream.

"Sydney. Slow down. I'm pretty sure you just said that Michael was engaged. Did I hear that wrong?"

When she giggles, I can't help repeating the question.

Or growl it.

"Sydney Nicole!"

"What! Oh, sorry, Alaina was making kissy faces behind Troy's back. He is so cute, but he knows it, you know?"

Yeah, I know, but I'm annoyed now, not so much at her. That's killing the messenger, but I can't help it.

"You're sure Michael's engaged?"

My fingers hover over my laptop keyboard. I watch them move as if someone else is directing them to a search engine, where the empty box beckons.

Lindsay Family Diner Valley Vale

It's been a few months since I've looked up anything having to do with Michael or his family, or even Valley Vale itself. Same old news, different day.

But Sydney's news makes me wonder if I've missed anything.

How could Michael suddenly be engaged without any warning?

The menu pops up, same as always. Nothing has changed much since his parents took over the diner from his grandparents, his father's family devoted to the business since it started a generation before that in the middle of the last century.

Some of the red vinyl stools at the soda fountain have been replaced, and the cash register is now a computer. But the vanilla milkshakes are still hand-scooped from hard-packed barrels of ice cream tucked into a freezer just behind the fountain.

I know because I've spent many hours doing just that, along with waitressing when Mr. a nd Mrs. Lindsay were short-handed. They were always generous and paid me well, but honestly, I wasn’t crazy about it.

Was I too nice? No. I just wanted to be with Michael, to please him and make him proud of me.

What am I expecting to find as I scroll, returning to the search bar to type in Michael's name? An engagement announcement? We're middle of nowhere Ohio, not high society New York City or movie star Hollywood.

"But you're so over him, aren't you? Jenny?"

My sister's voice brings me back, again, and I pull my hands away from the computer to cover my eyes.

I am not going to cry over him. Never again.

"Yeah, you know it."

She doesn't need to know that my cheeks have grown warm, and my eyes have betrayed me as a trickle of tears strays from them.

I don't love him anymore, or at least I don't love him . Just the idea of him.

I'm sure of it.

"Hey, Sydney , I've got a lot of homework. So I'll talk to you later, okay?"

There's laughter on the other end, and I'm glad that she has so many friends. She's busy and happy, with no particular boy she's glued to every second of every day.

She knows who she is, on her own two feet with no one else paving a path ahead for her.

Unlike me.

"Yeah, okay. I just thought you'd want to know. Glad you're not upset."

I suck in a breath and let it out slowly, hoping she can't hear me.

"Nope, not at all. Have fun."

"Bye!"

She calls the word out, as if her face isn't pressed against the phone as she does, so it's super loud. I'm used to this, so as soon as I finish speaking I hold the phone away from my ear.

The person on the other side of the wooden partition can probably hear her yell, but he or she doesn't say anything.

I want to pick up my laptop and throw it at that same partition, but I don't have the money to replace it and I don't want to get kicked out of the library.

Maybe not in that order.

Three weeks left in the semester, and my efforts to secure an affordable apartment and a job here that will actually pay the rent in this big city have amounted to nothing, so I've been resigned to returning home for the summer.

Disappointing, that I couldn't continue my streak of staying away, but I was sure that I could stay busy, somehow, once I moved back.

Now I know that three square miles isn't going to be big enough for the two of us. Or three, counting his fiancée.

Alleged fiancée.

Economics is going to have to wait as I pull up an employment website and type in my home zip code, expanding the search for twenty miles. It's desperate, and while I've stopped crying, I need something concrete to hook my thoughts into.

I scroll and stare, scroll and stare, until the words don't make any more sense than my Economics syllabus did earlier.

As I close my laptop and tuck it into my backpack, I think of the last night Michael and I were together. The fight that led to words exchanged, words I never imagined I would speak myself or hear from his lips. Words that couldn't be taken back.

How quickly he's moved on, as if all those years we were inseparable meant so little to him.

I can't decide whether to be hurt or angry.

The walk back to my dorm is a blur, and I keep my head down as I always do, maintaining distance from the strangers around me. I'm early, and clearly my roommate isn't expecting me back at this time of day.

She isn't alone.

As soon as I walk into our room, there's a rustle of sheets and in the dark, I make out the movement in the top bunk, where she and her boyfriend du jour are giggling.

At least she doesn't get mad when I accidentally interrupt her romantic interludes.

"Hey, sorry guys. It's not like I don't live here, too."

I wasn't expecting to say that, any more than Penny thought I would show up here before five.

I'm too old to blame anyone else for what comes out of my mouth, but I'm going to allow myself to blame Michael for now, just to get through the rest of the day.

Penny calls out but I'm not sure what she says as I slam the door behind me, shaking my head at no one in the empty hall. It's rarely occupied during the weekday at this time, with everyone at class or running around in-between, so there's no reason she shouldn't have thought she would have privacy now.

I wouldn't know anything about it, since Michael and I always said we would wait, but I don't think wrestling between cheap sheets on a tiny bunk bed would be all that romantic.

Especially with a different man every other week.

"Can you give us a minute?"

Penny doesn't sound mad, but she's so laid back that I'd be surprised if she did. Before I can turn away, a pair of long, hairy legs slides out from the top bunk and a n***d boy stands in front of me.

His reddish-brown hair is tousled, and his freckled face smiles flirtatiously with me.

I keep my eyes on his face, even as I can tell that he is waiting to see if I'm going to check him out.

Gross.

The room is dark, except for the sunlight that creeps in through the thin curtain, and I turn away to sit down at my tiny desk, dropping my backpack on the floor beside the chair.

I rest my chin on my folded arms, leaning forward on the desk, which has a stack of books, some pens, and a picture of Sydney and me at the town pool last summer.

Unlike some of my classmates with younger siblings, I've never tried to shake her off but have enjoyed having her around, even when she's too nosy or perky for my moods.

Moods that started up not long after that picture was taken , when Michael and I made the mistake of going to the party that led to our breakup.

Penny and the boy are whispering, and I hear the snap of his jeans, relieved that he's covered himself up now. My eyes are focused on my little sister and me, caught mid-jump in the air over the water in our swimsuits by my dad's camera.

It's still the photo Sydney uses on social media, although there are plenty of cute pictures of her that we've all taken since then.

"I'll text you later, babe."

There's a telltale smack of lips, but fortunately it doesn't turn into a make-out session before he leaves. Penny shuffles on the floor behind me until she rests a hand on the back of my chair.

"So what's up?"

What do I tell her? I've known Penny since the end of August, when we were assigned as roommates here and met on move-in day, and she knows only what I want her to know about me.

Which includes a limited amount of information about my love life, mostly just that it has been a bad experience, and no, I'm not interested in hanging out with any of her partners' friends.

"Just stressed about final projects, exams. All that stuff."

She taps her fingers against the wood behind me, her manicured nails probably chipped as they always get right away after she leaves the hole-in-the wall salon down the street.

"Let me know if I can help. I wish we had some general education classes together so we could study the same stuff, though. You and your big ACT score."

I cringe a little, both ashamed and proud of the score that got me scholarships and advanced placement in classes. I've never been known as a smart girl, and I'm not happy with the attention it has brought me.

Although I can't complain about the financial help.

Michael had been so proud of me, even though I wasn't sure what and if I wanted to study here , or stay closer to home. And him.

That wasn't what tore us apart, though.

"When you're ready for a study break, why don't we get pizza? Not delivery, down at J & J's."

I have yet to put on the freshman fifteen, as I was warned about, and while Penny has done that and more, she doesn't seem to care. Her curves look good on her, and she knows it.

The boys certainly aren't complaining.

My stomach makes a gurgling noise, and Penny laughs as she tugs gently on my hair, which is bound at the nape of my neck in a loose ponytail.

"Yeah, I guess I am hungry. You don't have a date later?"

When I turn to look at her, I see she's just in her underwear. While I always wear a robe, she parades around buck n***d as she gets dressed in the morning, or when she changes clothes. I'm glad she has something on right now.

She flaps her hand in the air dismissively.

"I've had enough male attention for one day. It's made me hungry, and I have to study calculus later, so I'd rather eat early."

Penny is a biology major, headed to medical school. Somehow she juggles her social life with some terrifying coursework , so as much as she talks about my college entrance exam scores and my gen ed placement, her career courses are nothing to sneeze at.

At least she knows what she wants.

I nod, then dig around in my backpack for my wallet. My phone is silent in my back pocket, and I hope it stays that way for a few hours.

No one else calls or texts except Sydney, and occasionally my parents or Penny, so I will probably have the break I need for awhile.

Until it buzzes loudly, making me jump up to my feet, and I answer it without looking at the number flashing on the screen. This is a bad idea, but I don't realize it until I hear the voice on the other end.