Why Not Me?

Chapter 4

May's POV

Ughhhhh.

I was currently sitting on my bed in a white see through vest and a black panty. No matter how many hours I slept for- I never feel well rested.

"Ughhh" I groaned frustratedly. I couldn't bring myself to get up from bed. I searched for my phone but when I couldn't find it I just gave up. Zayn was coming over today and I needed to clean up. The house was probably clean considering the fact that I live in only a specific area in the house- That's the problem, dust is everywhere.

"I can do it all and it ain't no problem. Ain't no body harder than a ... folarin?. b***h I go hard I'm balling I'm globe trotting.." I started rapping out of no where as I made my way to my gym a few doors away.

I didn't get this bomb body by sleeping around on my ass. I planned on sweating before showering.

I don't mean to brag but it's the only thing about myself that makes me feel confident.

"It's all good, I do this. I turn a straight prude b***h into a nudist. Foolish, I be on that new s**t and we blowing up like bitches we went to school with" I continued to rap as I switched on the treadmill. I set the timer at thirty minutes and begun to run.

My mind ran to a million things but one stood out- Harry Styles. I knew it was wrong because Zayn would be here any moment but the only thing I could think of was his best friend. I groaned hysterically tuning out the music and trying to clear my thoughts.

Kelly Kelly Kelly.

Just thinking about Harry this way makes me feel like I'm betraying my best friend. I thought this might get easier the more I got used to the idea of them dating but the more time passed the more I got mentally ill. No matter how hard I tried to convince myself that I would get over this entire situation with time, I knew it wasn't just going to dissolve easily.

______

I floped on the couch after a long cleaning session. Saying I'm tired is an understatement. I was feeling used.

Immediately I was done working out I decided to do some cleaning which literally consisted of me only wiping the dusts and what not but lets just say I'm a lazy soul.

I breathed deeply and stood up making my way up stairs to get a well deserved and needed shower, I must be smelling of sweat.

I checked my phone and saw a text message from none other than Zayn. It consisted of him telling me that he was going to arrive at 5:00pm whether I liked it or not and not to bail on him- probably because I haven't replied any of his texts since I woke up. I couldn't help but smile, he really is something.

The girls were soo excited yesterday when I told them that he was coming over today for what is a date but we haven't labeled it. Mariana on the other hand had a long talk about how she thought I was using him as a rebound to get over Harry, which I admitted to but also assured her that I genuinely like Zayn, even if it was just a little and nothing compared to the feeling I had for Harry. It was going to have to work.

I stepped into the shower and let the cold water cascade down my body.

Goosebumps graced my skin and I shivered as I proceeded with the cleaning of my body. I wrapped the towel around my body and stepped out of the shower. I made my way into my closet and pulled out a black sweatpants and green t-shirt. My aim was to look presentable but also comfortable. I made my way into the kitchen and made myself lunch cause I had already missed breakfast anyways. I eat as much as a sleep so my lunch consisted of a s**t load of pancakes- which seems to be the only thing I ever eat at home, I'm lazy like that.

It was still early before Zayn arrived so I occupied myself by playing chicken invader, Kelly and Mariana say its a stupid game but what can I say? it's interesting as hell. I avoided touching my phone the entire time. I didn't even know where it was because the last thing I wanted was having to text with Kelly about Harry. Since I found out Kelly was dating Harry, I've kept our texts short. I'm shocked she hasn't noticed or maybe she has but is too busy with Harry. I kept playing for hours and hours because what else was there to do?

I checked the time and it was 4:56pm already meaning I had about 4 minutes until Zayn arrived. I sat for seconds and my mind was blank. I knew I was playing a dangerous game but even though I knew I had to put a stop to it I couldn't. I've tried asking myself why but that's a question I can't seem to answer.

Zayn is amazing but I always still found myself wishing I was texting with Harry whenever we texted, talking to Harry instead and even kissing Harry instead. My mind always wanders to what he might be up to. I just wish he could see me. I wish he could read my eyes and know of all the things I wish to tell him but can't, all the things I was scared to tell him. I wish he could wake up one morning and -

"pringgggggg" I snapped back to reality knowing that it must be Zayn at the door. I let out a breath I didn't know I was holding in. Slowly but surely I made my way to the door and opened it to reveal a grinning Zayn. I rolled my eyes playfully and stepped to the side to allow him entrance. He walked in quickly but I was also quick in checking him out as well.

Damn he is sexy.

I closed the door and turned to see Zayn still standing. The look in his eyes as he watched me was sexy, he was definitely checking me out even though I was wearing baggy clothes and he wasn't doing it discreetly. It was definitely the sexiest thing I'd seen in a while. I liked watching him check me out.

"Enjoying the show?" I asked swirling around for him, I heard him chuckle and I joined shortly. I walked pass him towards the couch making myself comfortable and he joined instantly. I was nervous as hell, I mean whenever I'm with Zayn I feel nervous. It means something right? I just wish he could consume my mind when he is away but somehow only Harry does.

Harry.

"Welcome to the queen's pad" I joked and he laughed. "Queen's pad indeed" He said. I could tell he was nervous just as I was, I mean this is the first time we are completely alone together and even though I thought it would have been awkward, it wasn't.

The first few minutes consisted of us arguing about how chicken invader wasn't baby's game after he saw it on my tv screen.

"Your taste in game is crap" He said between laughs and I faked shock. "Well then your taste in women is crap" I blurted out what was meant to be a strong comeback but it was just plain stupid. His eyes widened and he looked like a balloon because he was trying to hold back his laughter.

I surprise myself at just how stupid I can be.

"My taste in women?" He managed to ask amusedly. "Well it was the best I could come up with at the moment and besides it isn't far from the truth" I defended myself. After all he did date Maddie, the crappiest b***h I had ever came across.

"It isn't?" He asked fully interested by then. "what can I say? you did date Maddie after all" I shrugged. It needn't further explanation, the look on his face after the words left my mouth confirmed it. "In my defense she was hot" He defended himself and I rolled my eyes. He thought she was hot? I didn't like what I heard if I must say.

We bickered back and forth for a while. Zayn's gaze held mine after a long laughing session but suddenly he wasn't laughing anymore. He just sat there looking at me. For the first time I noticed that Harry never crossed my mind the entire time- well until now but it did mean something. I couldn't steer my eyes away either. He had the most beautiful brown eyes I'd ever seen, it wasn't how it looked, it was what it held. There were so many emotions going through them that I couldn't differentiate any but I didn't want to either. It held a mystery that I didn't want to uncover.

His eyes no longer held mine, they were on my lips. I swallowed hard and looked at his lips as well. I wanted him to kiss me so bad and I was waiting for him to lean in but he never did. I looked back up to see him looking at me again.

God he is soo intense. Something about it just made me feel Zayn would be unlike anything I would ever experience.

"What's your favorite color?" He asked. What? My favorite color? Really? I wanted nothing more than to kiss him in that moment and he asked what my favorite color was? I wanted to jump him but there was just something about the way he asked that was messing with my mind, I'm definitely lusting over Zayn as f**k. I wanted to run my hands over his chest and just make hi- I cleared my throat.

Get your s**t together May! I inwardly cursed myself.

"White" I answered shortly. He smiled returning to his carefree self like he didn't just mess up with my head seconds ago. Ugh f**k you Zayn.

"It doesn't surprise me tha-" I cut him off by slamming my lips onto his. What can I say? It was the only thing I could think of after he looked at me like that. His hands immediately wrapped around my waist bringing me closer and I couldn't complain. I was probably more eager than he was. He bit hard into my bottom lip, I gasped and he slipped his tongue into my mouth. The kiss was rough as he devoured my mouth, we changed sides never breaking the kiss either. It was different from all the other times he kissed me. We pulled away to catch out breaths after what seemed like an eternity. The only noise that could be heard was our heavy panting.

Somehow I was straddling him with his hands resting on my hips. I smiled widely at him and the smile on his face was the brightest, I leaned in and rested my head on his shoulder and his hands rested on my lower back as he stroked me up and down.

"You are so beautiful May" He whispered. I'd always just roll my eyes when someone tells me I'm beautiful but there was just something about the way he said it that made me believe it. I nuzzled my head into his neck more and he chuckled. There is just always something about the way he does everything when it's directed towards me, the way he looks at me, the way he talks to me, just everything.

"Do to want to maybe go out?" He asked and I could tell he was nervous. I nodded my head. I got up from the position I was in and stretched out my hand to pull him up.

"Where to?" My curiousity got the best of me and I just had to ask.

"First off, to get take out and then to a park?" He answered with a question and I grinned.

I tucked my phone into my pocket and ran my hands through my hair sloppily. We headed out and I locked my front door. As we got closer to his car we saw Harry. My heart stopped, he looked like a Greek god. His hair was covered by a black beanie and he wore a grey sweatpants and a black muscle armed vest. The tattoos on his arm were on full display.

"Hey mate" He rose up his arm to greet Zayn from afar. I probably stared longer than I should have and I didn't even hear Zayn's reply.

He opened the car door for me and I recovered from my trance immdiately.

"Are you okay?" Zayn asked when he climbed into the driver's seat. I smiled a nodded. My mind was all over the place and I couldn't form a coherent sentence at that moment.

He pulled out of my drive way and that was the beginning of a night I never bargained for.

We arrived shortly a 'big belly' and I snorted plafully.

"Mr Zayn are you trying to get me out of shape?" I asked. He chuckled faking innocence. "Now why would I want to do that? You body is f*****g hot" He grinned. I'm sure I looked like a fool, I was blushing soo hard and the smirk on Zayn's face confirmed that he could tell. I was feeling like a middle schooler all over again. I work hard for the body I have but hearing Zayn call me hot made my stomach tingle.

We entered big belly and it looked like your typical diner. Who names their restaurant big belly? It surely would drive away people than lure people in, no one wants a big belly.

Zayn led the way to a booth further from where many people were sitting. On our way here we just decided to have dinner before we left for the park.

We were facing each other as we waited for a waiter and within seconds a petit burnette showed up. She took our orders and left telling us our food was coming right up. I liked her until I saw her staring at Zayn hungrily. He was oblivious to what she was doing but I could see through her pretence. I couldn't blame her even if I wanted to, Zayn is just that handsome.

Minutes later, our sloppy joe burger arrived making my mouth water just at the sight of it. Junk food has always been my favorite. I ate like a cave woman because it was just that good, I looked up to see Zayn looking at me.

"What?" I asked with food in my mouth. He chuckled shaking his head.

"Nothing" He shrugged. "You eat like a starved man" He added. I chuckled- at least he just said man. I have heard plenty of those comments before so I wasn't the least bit affected. If anything I was amused because I've been told I eat like a football team, whatever that was.

"If you must know, I am a starved man, I only ate pancakes today" I said and took a big bite of my burger. He laughed. "Then make sure to eat only pancakes next time, I love watching you eat like this" He complimented?

I rolled my eyes at him. We continued to joke the entire time and I ate most of his fries.

The waitress brought the bill and I grabbed it from her hands instantly. Zayn frowned. "What are you doing?" He asked. It's only fair right? Cause I ate both his food and mine anyways.

"I'm paying" I shrugged like it was the most normal thing as I pulled out my wallet from my sweatpants.

"No I'm paying" He argued. I opened my mouth to object but he had already pulled the bill from my hand and without even looking he slipped in a hundred dollar note and handed it to the waitress. I huffed, he even paid twice the price and more. He looked cute as he tried to look pissed off at me but he cracked a frustrated smile. I can be a handful and stubborn sometimes.

I followed behind him lika a dog. He opened the door for me and I smiled sheepishly. We made it to the car. I switched through channels until I landed on Charlene Soraia's cage. Zayn gave me the typical look scrunching up his nose to show his distaste. I scoffed and paid no attention to him.

The ride was a silent one, Zayn's hand found it's way onto my knee giving it a light squeeze.

After what seemed like 15 minutes he parked and we exited the car. I had no idea where we were but it looked calm and relaxing. Zayn took my hand in his and pulled closer to him. He pecked me on my lips and pulled back leading me further into the park.

Simply put, it was one of the best nights of my life. I found out a lot about Zayn and all we did was talk- and made out a little but that's not the point. Zayn is a book I want to read all about...

And I was going to.

_______

I was currently on my way to Kelly's. I promised my beloved Calum to take him to go get ice cream. I always stick to my word. It has been two days since my date with Zayn and we kept texting back and forth.

Mariana and Kelly forced the details out of me and oh boy did I explain. They were gushing so hard and I kept rolling my eyes.

I parked my car and made my way to Kelly's front door. The smell of freshly baked cookies swept me off my feet. My legs carried me towards the kitchen and I spotted Alexis, Kelly's mom.

"Hey" I greeted making my way closer and gave her a hug. Her face brightened when she laid eyes on me.

"Hey there May" She said smiling. Mrs Matron is one of the nicest and sweetest person I know, unlike her daughter. I've only seen her go ape s**t a few times and that was when Kelly, Mariana and I messed up. She was like the mom I never had.

My tummy grumbled and I reached out for a cookie from the jar.

"How has work been?" I asked leaning over the counter taking a huge bite of the cookie. She shook her head and turned around to continue slicing a bunch of vegetables.

"Its very boring, I think my boss's panty is in a twist" she replied and I laughed. Did I tell you she is the coolest? She is.

"Oh that ap-" I kept my words to myself because of the glare I was getting from her. "To put it nicely, If i ever have to go to one of your business parties again, I'm declining" I rose my hand to surrender.

She chuckled rolling her eyes and turned her attention back to her vegetables. We conversed back and forth as I continued stuffing my face with her tasty cookies.

"Mayyyy" I turned around to see a happy Calum running over to me. I kneeled down and gave him a huge hug. I pulled back and my eyes nearly fell out of my socket.

Harry.

I saw Harry flop down on the couch. What's he doing here? My heart literally skipped a beat. Calum was talking but I couldn't pay attention to what he was saying.

"Have you seen Kelly's new boyfriend?" Little Calum asked and I snapped my eyes back in his direction. Kelly brought Harry home? She never does that, well she did once and it was... Benjamin. Seeing Harry here gave me a picture of what their relationship is like... perfect.

Next thing I know I was being pulled by Calum toward Harry's direction.

Fuck

"Harry this is May, my girlfriend" Calum said proudly as he attempted to introduce me to Harry. Harry chuckled holding back his laughter as he stared at Calum and I. Calum can be soo sweet sometimes it just makes me wish he was older but even if he was, he'd be more like a brother to me like he already is. The world needs childlike boys like Calum. I tuned out Harry and I smilled wildly at my little hubby.

"Your girlfriend is pretty dear Calum" Harry said and my head snapped up. I knew he was being nice to little Calum but I couldn't stop myself from feeling giddy. He thinks I'm pretty?

He's such a f*****g lair.

I don't have major insecurity issues or anything. I've never thought of myself to be the world's most beautiful but I do know that I'm not the ugliest of the bunch but hearing him say it made me feel like I was being mocked. If he at least thought I was beautiful then why did he ignore me all these years? I tried to keep my anger in check.

"She is isn't she?" Calum taunted. I just stood there like an i***t. Harry looked up at me so quickly it was like it never happened. He pulled Calum towards him and ruffled his hair. They looked cute playing. I sat on the arm of the couch. Harry never once spoke directly to me. It was exactly what I wanted but a part of me just wish he would have tried harder... even though he doesn't owe it to me.

Mrs Matron came in seconds later, more like stomped in. She looked like she was in a haste. She smiled widely at me and I chuckled.

"Okay Mrs Matron, what is it that you need me to do this time?" I asked amusedly. She can be read like a book. She has a nice smile but it's extra nice when he needs a favour.

Harry chuckled looking at Mrs Matron. She diverts her attention to him and chats with him for some minutes while I just sat there idlely.

"Could you please continue the cooking for me? I have to head to the office immediately to give my boss some files" She asked very nicely. I grinned, I could never say no to Alexis. I just love her that much.

"Anything for you mi amor" I say raising to my feet. She smiled beautifully- its clear where Kelly got her good looks. I rolled my eyes making my way to the kitchen. I stopped halfway and turned back around. "Errm where is Kelly by the w-?" I stopped myself from continuing the question.

Alexis had already disapeared out of sight and Calum was busying himself with his coloring book. Harry looked at me. I just turned right back around and walked into the kitchen.

I washed my hands and proceeded to chop up the vegetables for the salad.

"She isn't home, but she will be soon" I heard Harry's voice. I turned and nodded my head to let him know I heard him.

I didn't know what he as doing but I knew he was still in the kitchen. I was a nervous wreck. Harry and I have never been in the same room alone, except for the last time at Zayn's house.

"May" ..... I froze. What is it this time?

Harry's POV

I got a text from Kelly telling me she had just stepped out minutes ago when I told her I was almost at her house. Two days ago I was actually at her house so I got to meet her mum and little brother, it's just them three. I could tell it wasn't something she did often- bringing her boyfriends to her house but I didn't make a topic of discussion out of it.

I saw Calum outside and he smiled at me unlike the fist time he met me that he went into protective little brother stance. He engaged me in a conversation and lead me into the house. His eyes widened immediately they landed on May leaning on the kitchen counter and he was gone in a flash- running towards her like there was no tomorrow.

"Harry this is May my girlfriend" Calum said as he dragged May towards me. She looked like she'd rather be some place else. I tried to hold back my laughter because it was both cute and funny at the same time. Little Calum was on a mission to steal one of my best friend's love interest. She looked lost in thoughts as she smiled down at the little boy like he was the best thing her eyes have ever landed on.

"Your girlfriend is pretty dear Calum" I blurted. Her head snapped in my direction but I didn't meet her gaze. What can I say? Calum looked at me expectantly- if i didn't compliment her, I was sure Calum wouldn't like me so much and it wasn't a lie either. May is beautiful.

"She is isn't she?" Calum was full out gushing at that point. I pulled the young stud in and ruffled his hair. Mrs Matron, Kelly's mum came out of the kitchen with a frustrated look on her face. She smiled brightly at May.

May chuckled. "Okay Mrs Matron, what is it that you need me to do this time?" I couldn't hold back the chuckle that left my mouth, May is indeed very mouthy.

"Oh hey there Harry" Kelly's mum acknowledged my presence when her eyes landed on me. I smiled and replied politely. She asked me a few more questions, ignoring May which I answered concerning how I was doing blah blah blah.

"Could you please continue the cooking for me? I have to head to the office immediately to give my boss some files" Mrs Alexis turned to May and said sheepishly. The rest of the conversation became a blur, the only thing I saw was Mrs Alexis disappearing up the stairs and May walking towards the kitchen.

"Errm where is Kelly?" May turned back and asked. Her eyes landed on mine and she turned abruptly and left for the kitchen without waiting for my reply. She really wasn't joking when she said we should just ignore each other's presence.

I found myself on my feet carrying myself towards the kitchen. We needed to get over our little fits and make this work, after all we were going to be seeing each other a lot until she leaves for Newcastle.

"She isn't home, but she will be soon" I said casually, entering the kitchen fully. She turned and nodded in my direction and turned back giving her attention to her vegetables. I understand why she might be feeling hurt but I didn't get why she was throwing a fit over it. She was making more out of it than need be. I wanted to talk it over but didn't know how to start so I just leaned over the counter watching her.

"May" I called to get her attention. She didn't budge for a few seconds and then she turned. She wasn't angry like the last time, if anything she looked nervous? I sighed frustratedly and ran my hand through my hair, her eyes were glued on me the entire time.... expectantly.

It's just hard to talk to her? She has that kind of aura of bitchiness and the last thing I wanted was for her to go ape s**t on me.

"Are you going to talk or not Harry?" She asked calmly, it was the first time she ever said my name- to my face. I opened my mouth to talk but two small hands wrapped around my waist. Who else could it possibly be apart from Kelly? I grinned and turned around but not after I saw an expression flicker in May's eyes that I couldn't identify.

She looked.... broken?