Why Not Me?

Chapter 1

May's POV

"sheesh" I yelped as I fell flat on my face. Just my luck this early morning, by early I meant 2:23pm to be exact. Believe it or not but every hour of the day is morning for me even when its 8:55pm okay? okay. I groaned at my clumsiness and not to mention my knee was suffering the consequences of my stupidity. Everyone preaches on how its good to take responsibility for your actions but hell no, I'd just blame it on my best friend Kelly. After all its her fault for making me curious as hell. Call me idle but I'd sacrifice a lot of s**t for some juicy gossip.

I brushed my teeth and stepped into the shower to get myself cleaned up. I got out shortly and rummaged through my stuff for anything I could find, it was just Kelly anyways. I settled for a grey sweatpants, a white t-shirt and flip flops. I let my hair down mesily after I had put a s**t ton of products to make it soft to say the least. That's what you deal with when your natural hair texture is kinky as hell. I took my own precious time to upload a bombshell picture I took after getting dressed.

If I do say so myself.

I sat at the corner of the room waiting for my bestie for an hour If I must add. She sounded soo excited but wouldn't disclose it over the phone. She added that she was feeling generous and because today was a sunny and promising day we should meet up at our favorite ice cream shop. I am a 'stay home and chill person' but there was no way in hell I was going to reject a free treat. Plus I was very eager to hear her good news. Inwardly I prayed it was as juicy as she said because she is known for making a big deal out of nothing.

I pulled out my phone from my pocket and frowned. The old me would be very angry right now but I'm used to my selfish best friend by now. Deep down I wasn't expecting her soon cause I've only been seated for 10 minutes. Usually she'd arrive after 30 minutes or more. But I was still going to rush her, she mustn't know I'm used to her ways.

Me: Where the f**k are you? Your ass needs to be here else you won't pay for my ice cream

I was sitting awkwardly alone with a smile on my face as I awaited her reply. She is very creative so I couldn't wait for her reply. It's just sad she's only creative outside classes. Let's just say contributing to the society isn't her strongest trait. To say she was the happiest when we graduated was an understatement.

Kelly: Oh don't be such a cry baby! Please tell me you didn't not bring your purse like the last time? Tricky trick. Me: f**k no. I'm not giving you an opportunity to stand me up for the boys you drool over.

Kelly was known for standing me up all the time when she made plans. She would call and come up with an excuse and I couldn't make her keep her end of the deal. So I devised a plan, I'd always leave my car home and get a ride from a friend, most importantly I leave my purse home. When she calls to give an excuse I just tell her I literally have no money on me and then no ride. She feels guilty and comes right away. Aren't I an evil genius?

Kelly: It was just a couple of times but you Nutella is playing guilt tricks on me

Oh did I mention she was really bad at giving offensive nicknames? Yeah she is. Nutella? How in the world is that to offend me? I love Nutella to death anyways.

Me: Just get your ass here now!

I got fed up of waiting and made my way to the counter. A girl with shoulder length blonde hair had a tight smile on her face obviously waiting to get my order. "Hello" I gave her a genuine smile despite her forced smile knowing that work days have ups and downs. She replied in a rather smuggy way. Her attitude does not compliment her face if I must say. This was my first time seeing her here anyways. I gave her my order. Vanilla ice cream with almond fudge, my absolute favorite. she rolled her eyes discreetly but I caught on.

Oh hell no.

I was seconds away from giving her rude self a piece of my mind but I felt a tap on my shoulder and didn't bother turning around, I knew it was Kelly.

Saved by my best friend, lucky.

"Thank God you are here just in time to pay" I grinned. It was only fair cause she had promised and for making me wait. I heard her chuckle but still didn't turn to look at her.

"Aren't you in a good mood?" I asked turning to face her beside me. The everyday Kelly would have retorted making me feel guilty for making her feel guilty.

"Well yeah and no b***h can ruin that today" she smirked. Okay she just made me more anxious to hear the damn good news. I pulled her away immediately I got my ice cream from that cranky b***h. Kelly isn't a fan of ice cream so we just hurried to my previous seat not giving her the chance to order her usual treats.

"Please spill the sausages already" I said eagerly before she could even take a seat. Kelly is grumpy most of the time but for her to be this happy just makes me want to know what the cause is. She laughed at my eagerness.

"Eager much?" She teased. I rolled my eyes at her clearly not amused. She cleared her throat readying herself to tell me what I've been dying to hear.

"Okay so a week ago, I got a text from this strange number. You wouldn't believe who it was" she chirped the last bit. My eyes widened and I tried to think of who it could possibly be. My mind wandered to a couple of guys but I couldn't come up with anything. She of all people know I suck at guessing even if my life depended on it. Harry? I thought but I couldn't voice it out. It's even impossible so I ran out of options.

"Who?" I leaned in closer as though we were sharing a deep ass secret. "Harry Styles" she slumped in her chair in relief.

My heart stopped. Harry Styles?

Mother Nature has a darn good way of showing her love for me.

The only guy I have ever liked in my life? Ten years ago he moved opposite our house and from that day I saw him I've never been able to set my eyes on anyone else. But he has never looked my way twice. I didn't even know he took notice of Kelly either. I mean she is drop dead gorgeous but Harry just always seemed interested in the school sluts and Kelly was far from being one.

"May!! Are you okay?" Kelly frowned as she snapped me back to reality. I shifted in my seat awkwardly not even realizing my own mood change. "Don't I look fine?" I tried to joke but she just rolled her eyes. I didn't know how to react either. I can't blame her because I never told her I had a crush on him. I never told anyone, well except for Mariana, our other half. I always knew Kelly had her eyes on Harry and I couldn't hold it against her, I mean you should see him. She talked about him soo much that it'd have been awkward to tell her about my undying love for him. I never paid mind to it because I never expected him to return the feeling and I never talk about my feelings for him because I don't want to give it life.

"So you've been texting for a week huh?" I got curious, turns out my best friend just added to the list of girl I'm jealous of. I'm such a hypocrite, I was dying to know. I felt like telling her right there but I couldn't, she looked soo happy. Besides what's the point? It wouldn't change anything, if anything I would come off as selfish because by telling her would just imply I wanted her to call it quits with him. I actually do.

"Yeah and we've been on a date" my mouth formed an 'o' the only thing I wanted to do was run home and cry. But Harry has been known to be a player and even though I shouldn't, a part of me just wished he could be playing around with her. It wouldn't hurt her either, she never gets hurt so it's a win win for me.

I definitely wouldn't be winning best friend of the year. pathetic!

"He was so romantic oh my God. We had a picnic , listened to music and God when he kissed me I never wanted it to end" she kept going on and on. I jolted up before I could stop myself.

Way to go May.

"A week ago and you're now telling me?" I spat. I tried, trust me I tried to contain myself but for some reason I couldn't. Confusion evident on her face but quickly replaced with a smirk obviously to lighten up the mood.

"Chill b***h! I wasn't sure if I was dreaming or not" she grinned. That made me even more angry. "I feel sick, I need to leave" eyes were beginning to fall upon me but I couldn't care. She looked very shock. I just couldn't bring myself to pretend there and then, I've done a lot of that for a damn long time but in the very moment the only thing I wanted to do was drown in self pity.

"Are you okay? Did I say something wrong?" She asked worriedly.

"I just don't feel well" I fake a smile. "I'd be on my way home" I said walking away without awaiting her reply. She stopped me "but I'm your ride home dummy"

"I'd walk home, I just need to be alone" with that I doubled up my speed for the exit. She said something but I was too far to hear her.

My heart was thumping. I have never felt this before, of course Harry has dated a s**t load of girls since I got to know of his existence but he has never dated my best friend. I could handle other girls but not my best friend. I started to stomp home with tears threatening to fall down my eyes.

Harry and my best friend, the thought just killing me. All I could ask myself was "why not me?"

I couldn't stop thinking about the words that came out of Kelly's mouth. I didn't even know where I was walking because I couldn't think straight, I just hoped I was walking in the right direction. I couldn't take it anymore, tears begun to bream down my cheeks. I have always been a cry baby. I was a mess. I pulled out my phone and called Mariana.

Be strong May!

She picked up on the third beep.

"Hey babe" she exclaimed. I just rolled my eyes. Her voice sounded funny.

"Are you home?" I asked. The other side of the line went silent. I knew right away she sensed it in my voice.

"Why are you crying May?" she asked carefully, both she and Kelly know how much I can be a crybaby sometimes but they claim that I'm the toughest person they know.

Damn right, I can knock a grown man out.

"Just tell me please" I pleaded desperately, at that time my life depended on it. She sighed frustratedly. I felt like a burden all the damn time. My parents must have been fortune tellers and saw what a mess I'd be when I grew up. I don't blame them for not wanting me.

I hung up immediately drying my tears and put myself together, there were several missed calls from Kelly but I was not emotionally stable to speak to her so I just ignored and kept walking. I passed by my house walking towards Mariana's, it took all within me not to look at Harry's house. I just couldn't bring myself to do it.

I barged in without knocking cause that's like my second home. Mariana and I have been neighbors before we could even speak so we were more than sisters. Even though it took a miracle before we could become friends. People just tend to ignore me and not notice me. Just my luck. I was struck by the aroma of lasagna but I cared too little about food at that point. I was in severe pain like none I had ever experienced. I was shocked not to be crying anymore, I have to be strong.

I climbed the stairs but stopped to admire the beautiful pictures on the wall. I wanted her comfort badly minutes ago but now that I'm seconds from seeing her I just felt like a baggage, her baggage. The house was empty and I just walked straight up into her room dreading every step I took. I pushed her door slowly and peeped through, she wasn't there like I had expected but I heard noise in her bathroom. I plopped myself down on her bed with my face on her pillow. I didn't ever in my wildest imagination expect my day to take this turn. I was emotionless - exactly like I was when I heard mommy wasn't coming back ever.

I remember that day like it was just yesterday. When daddy left I never thought she would as well.

Minutes later Mariana came out in a towel and her hair all wet. Seeing her just made me feel a little bit better. She looked worried as her eyes scrutinized my appearance.

I sat Indian style and looked at her.

"Please don't tell me I'm ruining your plans again!" I gushed faking shock. She rolled her eyes and turned to rummage through her closet. "Okay I won't" She joked. The thing about my friends is that they all have lives outside our friendship but me on the other hand, they are just it for me. It couldn't be my dressing driving people away right? Because I know that I know how to blend as hell. Well maybe my face? Nah I'm bomb as hell.

You dont believe that May.

She wore a navy skinny jeans, a black hoodie and held her long black hair into a messy bun. Mariana is the definition of a Goddess. Her beauty still shocks me and I can't believe she's even friends with me.

Oh my God, am I the duff?

"Kelly called before you did and wanted to meet up to go bike riding." She informed me whiles sitting down next to me "but I could just cancel" She added pulling her phone out to call Kelly.

"No don't!" I stopped her. She nodded and looked at me expectantly. I knew what she was waiting for but I played a fool

"Are you going to tell me why you were crying already?" She pinched my side playfully. I chuckled and swatted her hand. This is why it is very easy to talk to her, she isn't the intense type. She would always cut the tension with a joke and not a knife.

Pfft.

"Kelly is dating Harry" I said nonchalantly trying to play it off. I held back my tears. Mariana's jaw dropped and pity clouded her eyes. She looked very shocked. She opened her mouth to speak but kept shutting it.

She looked like a starved fish. Her reaction was amusing for a second but I couldn't bring myself to tease her at that moment.

I was drained.

She was the only one that spoke to Harry amongst us and she assured me years ago that Harry wasn't into girls like Kelly. She tried discreetly several times to get Harry to talk to me but he just brushed it off in a non jerk way. He texted her saying I was weird once and even though she didn't tell me, I saw their text messages. What else must he have said?

"Oh come here" She hugged me really tight and I immediately broke down crying and sobbing.

I'm soo needy, ugh.

She was the only one I could trust when it comes to my feelings for Harry.

"Why can't I just get over him already?" I whispered in Mariana's ear whiles she drew circles on my back. I couldn't stop crying. She was my only shoulder now. At that moment I felt like my heart stopped beating and I couldn't breathe. I pulled back putting myself together.

Well tried to.

"He is blind, put the most precious diamond right before his eyes and he wouldn't see it" She smiled but it didn't reach her eyes.

Precious diamond? Me? Yeah right.

I just nodded because I couldn't argue at that moment. Usually I'd tell her to stop lying and we'd go on and on about who is right and who is wrong. She smiled satisfied that I didn't dare contradict her.

"He is even a dork and stupid as f**k truss" She nudged me and that cracked me up. It's kind of funny because the cause of my sadness is also the cause of my happiness. Even if it's when I hear about him- his ways, it makes me happy.

"By the way I'm going over to Kelly's. She sounded worried when she called asking of you" I rolled my eyes at how dramatic they can both be sometimes. At least times like these assures me that they really do care, and even though Kelly maybe somewhat related to the pain I feel right now, I know she would never hurt me, ever.

_______

Mariana and I arrived at Kelly's house after a good 15 minutes walk. Oh and after I had to argue with Mariana that we should drive. Her excuse was it's good to exercise once in a while at least. So my petty self just whined and did a few squats as we walked to show her that I didn't need any exercise.

"Crazy Nutella" She muttered and I was amused. She is the crazy one, despite the nice things I say about her- not to her face of course, she could chop your balls off in an instant. Mariana Duapez the crazy maniac.

As usual we just barged in like it were our house cause whatever right?

Kelly's adorable little brother Calum smiled widely at us. He ran towards us before we could actually make it in properly and hugged my legs. Mariana giggled.

Cute little Calum.

Kelly says he has a huge crush on me and wants to marry me so it was always cute to see the way he reacted whenever I was around. My little hubby is what I call him. Seeing this precious sunshine brought a smile on my face. Even this little boy knows what Harry's missing. I reached down and carried him. Mariana had already left to wherever it is that she went after she patted him on the head.

"You look very pretty today" Calum smiled cheekily. If Kelly was a boy she'd definitely be the exact same. I smiled widely and it reached my eyes for the first time the whole day.

"Aren't you an adorable little thing?" I tapped on his nose. He would be a handful when he grows up and not to mention an attraction site for all the hormonal teenage girls.

We kept talking for a while and he told me about how boring his day was but he drew and colored. It's summer so he doesn't have much to do until school resumes anyways. It took a lot of convincing before he could allow me to leave after I told him I'd take him out for ice cream.

I sighed heavily as I approached Kelly's room. I knew I owed her an explanation for how rude I was earlier and I have no idea what the lie is going to be. As usual I just open the door and saw both Mariana and Kelly sitting on the bed.

Kelly smiled awkwardly as I got closer, obviously uncomfortable. I plopped down beside her and wrapped my arms around her waist.

"I'm sorry for being such a b***h earlier" I said like a five year old girl trying to get on her mom's good side. I couldn't see their faces but I know they rolled their eyes.

Typical Kelly Matron.

"If you act like a b***h again mummy won't buy you any Nutella" She joked. Mariana chuckled. We burst out laughing at how silly and weird our jokes can be sometimes. We... I mean Kelly and Mariana may look cool on the outside but trust me when I say thet are dorks just as I am. No one would've guessed.

"You moody Nutella" Kelly pinched my side. I rolled my eyes at that silly nickname. Just like that, the case was settled... our way. Her phone beeped ruining the moment. The damn smile on her face gave her away and it was obvious who texted. I could feel Mariana's eyes on me but I didn't dare look. I just sat still looking straight ahead. I wanted to be fine but I just couldn't, not when I felt like I couldn't breathe.

I'm fine, I can get used to it within no time - liar.

Well I can try.

Shortly after she returned her attention back to us.

"Why didn't you ever tell me he was this amazing" She pinched Mariana playfully. As always the drama queen yelped and faked anger. I chuckled but my mind kept reminding me about how I could give anything to be Kelly right now. I shook my head to clear my thoughts. As long as Kelly is dating Harry, I'll have to stop having such thoughts about him. It's just wrong.

Harry Styles is my best friend's boyfriend.

Mariana and Kelly kept talking but I couldn't seem to hear them. My heart didn't want to hear it so my body rejected to take it in.

Lucky for me we soon changed the topic. It was much more fun talking about the latest trends of fashion. We stalked a few gorgeous boys on i********: but none of them could be compared to Harry. To me he was simply the most gorgeous boy on the face of this earth.

His greenish eyes. His dimples, God those dimples and not to mention how tall he is and his accent and the raspiness of his voice and the way h-

I shook my head to snap back to reality.

Snap out of it May!

It was around 8:00pm already and noting the fact that we are all lazy arses, Kelly claimed to be too exhausted to drive us home and we were apparently too tired to walk so we decided to spend the night after we had dinner and all the other basic s**t. We could go weeks even as we've done several times. Good thing is that we have a good amount of stuff at Kelly's so we just settled in, took our shower, wore our pajamas and got comfortable. Everyone was literally just on their phones. I was dying inside because I knew Kelly must've been texting with Harry. I wish it was me. I wish he was saying those things to me and not her. I thought of several f*****g hilarious replies I could've come up with but she was fun to chat with and I couldn't top that. I just wished he could have put more effort in the conversations I've tried to have with him. Yes, I've texted him a lot actually.

It literally went like this :

Me: Hey Harry

Harry: Hey, who is this?

Me: May :)

Harry: oh okay...

Me: yeah so what's up?

Days later

Me: Hiyaa

Days later

Me: Heyyy

Ever since I told him it was me he never replied any of my texts. But I couldn't stop myself from testing him repeatedly.

Reality sunk in and I eventually stopped. He wants nothing to do with me and I understood that. I still don't understand why he was such a jerk. I just wish I could have a valid reason to just grow to hate him.

You do May. He is an asshole.

I'm not being petty but that's the only way I can move on. I guess.

"Hey you guys want to go out tonight?" Kelly asked not looking away from her phone screen.

"Ugh I thought you'd never ask" Mariana whined excitedly. I just rolled my eyes. I didn't bother saying no because if the both of them want to go there is no saying for me.

"It's almost 9" I pointed out.

"Party pooper alert. It's just 8:22" Mariana took it upon herself to point that out.

"Harry and his friends are at bistro, they want us to come have a quick dinner with them before we go to Jeff's party" Kelly informed us. Oh hell no. I needed to come up with an excuse...

And fast...