The Lawes Girl

19

On her way back into the restaurant, too deep in her own head to notice the person storming up to her. Geegee grabbed her arm, forcing her to face her. Quite the glare on her face as well. "Is something wrong with you?" Lucille blinked rapidly, looking away. "Nick? Nick, really?"

    Lucille's face relaxed as she sighed. "Geegee-"

"Why? What possible explanation could you have? After everything he did. What he did, hurt you deeply, we watched you. And Wes... Wes held you like his life depended on it-"

    "It just happened! You think I wanted to feel this way? I tried to get rid of it. But feelings... they're one heck of a pesky thing. And then he... He told me how he felt. And it only made me feel-" She sighed. "You can be mad. And I understand why. I'm not stupid. What I'm doing does not elude me."

    "Alright. Fine. I don't even want to be here anymore. I'll call you later. After I've tried to make sense of this mess." She let go of Lucille and stormed off. Heels clicking angrily. Lucille hissed in frustration. In minutes everything was filled with anger. It wasn't like she didn't see this coming. But Wes. Wes' voice, Wes' eyes... They left her weak.

    Nina was keeping her words down like a bad soup. She eyed Nick when he came in after her. And glared some more when he took a seat. That is of course, when they got home. Why was he still here? "Lucille." She turned to her sister. "Room. Now." Lucille obeyed the order. Knowing this would be just as bad as ever. Just rip the band aid off. Once in the room, Nina spun, facing her, hand raised, palm wide open and aiming for her face.

    Lucille caught Nina's wrist all to quickly. She was shocked at her own reflex. But the kicker was Nina trying to hit her. "Excuse you?" Her forehead creased. "Are you stupid?"

    "Are you?"

"You just tried to hit me." Nick's eyebrows raised in reaction to those words. 

    "Let go of me!" Nina pulled her hand free. "Him?! What could possibly be your reason? And I don't want to hear you fell for him."

    "I did."

"Don't make me sick." She eyed her. "I can't believe you."

    "I don't believe you."

"Shut up. Let me remind you of all the things he did."

    "Don't do that."

"I said shut up!" Nina listed his sins. Nick closed his eyes the entire time. "How can you be with him?"

    "I don't know." Lucille shrugged. "I just am. And I want to."

"Are you doing this for Marvin? Because he has us. You and me."

    "You? You had an orphanage commissioned and you left. You're barely here. Going by that, Marvin has just me. Only me. I'm not with him for Marvin. Marvin and I were fine before he came back and we will always be. With or without him." Nick rubbed his face, leaning forward. "This is all me. How I feel." She sighed. "Nina, I tried. I tried not to feel this way. I really did. It was torturous." Her eyes stung. "I couldn't possibly understand why after all that he did. Why I would feel this way and it made no sense. But then he..." She looked away from her angry sister. "He came back and he told me how he felt. He wouldn't even have said anything if I hadn't forced him to and I didn't know he was going to tell me that. I care about him. I still can't believe it or understand it but I do. Knowing exactly what he'd done and still... After all the hurting." Nina rubbed her face. Settling down... calming down. Understanding her. "It's unreasonable but this is it. I'm not with him for my son. I'm with him for me and I'm happy. And I-"

    "Nick!" Nina called out. In seconds he was in the room. Taller than the girls yet feeling so so small. He kept his eyes on Lucille. Literally biting down on his tongue just so he doesn't tell her he loves her. Hearing her say she cared was... musical. "When you some how hurt her again, I'll have you thrown out of here and then beaten. Get out." He turned to Nina. "Not one word. Out!" She meant what she said. For her sister's happiness... She wouldn't say another word to Nick on this. After all, the 'relationship' wouldn't last long.

    "Can I at least talk to Lucille first?"

"No. You can't. My sister and I have a lot to talk about."

    "I'll call you later Nick." Lucille smiled a half smile. He nodded and left. Both of them listening for the front door to be shut and for the car he came in to drive off.

    "How did this happen?" Nina questioned almost immediately. 

Lucille shook her head, shrugging. "I don't know. One minute I'm angry with him. Next thing I know we're having conversations that are very different from when I was pregnant. More honest I guess. Then all of a sudden I'd get excited when his car pulled up, or when he came to the office. It was like I couldn't wait to see him every time. Even now."

    Nina sighed gruffly, rolling her eyes as she said, "Oh my goodness."

    Lucille smiled. "I know."

Nina started out the room, back to the livingroom. Lucille followed. Sitting down while Nina locked the front door and poured them both glasses of wine. "Okay, so. He told you how he felt? How did that happen?" Lucille took a sip and then started her story. 

   With that night gone, it was easier for Lucille to answer the same question. 'Him?' the answer she gave was not as deep as the ones Geegee and Nina got. As far as she was concerned. And it wasn't as if she cared what they thought. 

    Wes. Wes had grown cold. Barely saying more than five words in a conversation. She felt so guilty. But then it was his fault for not speaking up. All those chances... now, all she can do is watch the hints of sadness he couldn't hide and hope he would move past it. In her best way, she refused to bring up that night. He finally confessed his feeling but it was too late. Well, at least he was still talking to her a little. Was it because he didn't want to be without her? Because not talking and yet being close to her was fine with him? Yes.

   Months passed. Marvin was three, and was finally calling Nick daddy. That wasn't as big a deal as finally being part of his son's birthday. Missing his birth was one thing. Major thing. And then there was those two birthdays. Although one wasn't of his choosing. If Bryan hadn't been so... Lucille finally got to host the party at her house. Her parents hosted the last one. Granted he wasn't there, but he had a few presents sent over. But this time. This time, every cool looking toy he saw where ever he went, he bought. Lucille could only watch while he displayed so much excitement. It was hilarious. And nice.

    Nick jumped back in the pool, making a splash and swimming for the far end of the pool where Lucille was. His hair that was almost dried soaking wet again. "He's asleep." He reported to her, wiping his wet face. "He chose a new book today."

    "Oh great. It must have taken him a while to fall asleep." She faced him, looking into his eyes. They were soft on her. She liked that. He treated her different from everyone else. The look on his face always changed when she walked in a room. It wasn't hard to notice. A blind person could possibly tell. His stern and impassive manner changed every single time they were alone. Like he was a different person. Different from when she worked with him, different from when she was pregnant and different from when he was with Melanie... which was when she was pregnant. But wow! It was amazing. For a man who never dated he was... amazing to her... with her in every way. It would be bad if she ended up a Melanie. Her heart broke just a bit at the thought. Nevertheless, did she ever picture any of this with him? It seemed impossible. Yet, here they are. He had been talking the entire time but she wasn't listening. Too lost in him. "That's nice." She smiled. "I used to imagine you reading to him." He tilted his head. "When I was still..." He moved closer to her. Draping his arm on her shoulder. His cold wet skin against hers. Creating just enough heat to make them both relax. "Of course, I never could have imagined his smile. Just like yours."

   "Mine?" He smirked.

"Don't pretend, you've seen it."

   "Sure. But he has your eyes." He looked down at her, hand under her chin and bringing her face to his. He looked into her eyes. He could hold her gaze forever. Nothing felt better.

   Lucille shivered at the way his eyes consumed hers. Devouring it's way to her soul and it's very depths. How in the world was he doing that? "Yes. But I'm talking about you two." She slid down into the water and moved out from under him. Escaping his hold on her. "I didn't imagine we were together. Not like this. But you two were just as you are together now." She looked away. Smiling at the memories that had been shrouded in sadness and then hate and now... nothing. Because it happened and she saw it play out almost everyday. "And he turned out to be more beautiful than I could have imagined."

   "Me beautiful?" He looked smug as he asked. "Cause, you know, he looks like me." She scoffed, rolled her eyes and swam away from him. Hell! He couldn't hold back anymore. He thought himself as not being able to tell her how he felt. His speech after she forced him to reveal is feelings involved Melanie. How romantic was that? His attempts before involved a lot of stuttering that for some reason went unnoticed which was shocking considering Lucille had a knack for pointing out things. She was swimming back towards him. Feet kicking the water like a professional. She'd stopped using her hands as she got closer. Her head was close to his well formed stomach when she stood up. "I love you." He blurted. No stutter, no deep thought to it, no questioning the timing. Just the words. 

    Her heart was pounding from holding her breath for the entire length of the pool. Hearing the words, her heavy breathing stopped. She stopped breathing completely, wide eyes staring at him, heart still pounding so loud now she could hear it and not just feel it. Her chest started to hurt. She grew hot. Finally letting out the breath that didn't do much controlling of her breathing. She was still panting, worse than before. His eyes searched her face. She couldn't believe it. What a moment in time to say those words. Making her lose her breath. "I-"

    "I'm in love with you." He pulled her close to himself, pulling a wet strand of hair back. "I love you so much Lucille."

    It was never in question but now she knew he was talking to her. "I-" still out of breath. The one word... letter, felt like a fit to say. Here she was, worried that she would end up like one of his other girls. Melanie to be specific and minutes later he says... "I love you too." Her chest hurt again. Out of breath from the sentence she didn't hesitate to say. 

    It was shock that showed on his face first. Shock, then a smile so big, it reached his eyes. He didn't hold back. In an instant his lips were on hers. Her fingers dug into his shoulder. He pulled away to ask. "Really?"

    "So much. Too m-" He was kissing her again.

"Trust me Cilley. Not as much as I do."

   "Yeah." Wes ruffled his hair. "It is a good move. I just-" He sighed in defeat, dropping his head.

   "It's a good move. So what are you waiting for?" Quincy asked, shaking his leg in impatience. His right hand gripping the arm rest of his chair. 

   "I've been told it's obvious." Wes looked up with a smirk. "It feels like years ago. Has it even been a year?"

   "You're torturing yourself."

"So you do know what I'm talking about?" Quincy nodded once. Again. Wes sighed in defeat. "I don't know what to do."

   "Yeah you do. So do it."

    Days of pondering on the words Nick had so abruptly dropped on her in the pool. It was hard not to think about it. And the way he kissed her when she too blurted out the same words. But the pondering came with one question that threatened everything she thought she felt. Geegee opened her door. The first thing out of Lucille's mouth was: "Nick told me he's in love with me." Geegee responded with wide eyes and pulled her friend out of the noon day sun, into the livingroom and sat her down. It happened too quickly.

    "Tell me everything." Her voice grew high pitched in excitement. Funny how months ago she almost ripped Lucille's arm off when she saw Nick kiss her. Lucille did as she was told. Sparing almost no detail. A fit she was used to. Details were always needed when reporting stories of romance... or feelings. Geegee tilted her head when Lucille was done and she didn't look quite as happy as she would have expected. "So what's the problem?"

    "I don't know if I do feel the same way."

"Well, he did tell you-"

    "No. I mean like." She licked her lips. "I know I said it, but I- I know I care about him, like a lot."

    "Luce, I fail to see your point."

"Maybe I said it too quickly."

    "Did he make you say it?"

"No. He was just... It came out of nowhere."

    "Okay so he didn't make you say it. Did you feel like you had to? Maybe that's why you're questioning it."

    "Maybe. I don't know." She sighed. "When he said it, I was so shocked and then extremely happy." Geegee furrowed her eyebrows. Paying attention to her. "I literally couldn't breathe." She smiled. That night coming back to her like a warm hug.

   Geegee straightened up. "Luce?" Seeing what Lucille doubted as truth.

   "Hmm?"

"You do."

   "I do what?"

She smiled. "Break up with him."

   "What?"

"You don't think you love him. Isn't that why you never told Wes. That you knew he had-"

   "That's not why. You still don't get that. I couldn't confront him about his feelings. Their his feelings." Talks of Wes always caused a lump to form in her throat. 

   "Yeah. Well, what ever. Back to the point. Break up with him. You don't think you love him. So don't string him along. Don't give him the impression that you do."

   Lucille shook her head. "I- no. I don't-" Geegee subtly arched a brow. "I don't want to be without him. He makes me happy and-"

   "For heaven's sake Luce. Just say it." A smile slowly came to Lucille's lips. "Yeah. That's what I thought. Tell me, don't you feel stupid?"

   "For what?"

"For questioning what you know to be true and wasting my time."

   "I just thought maybe-" her smiled turned to a frown. "Oh screw you!" Geegee laughed. "You knew what you were doing. And there's nothing wrong with questioning anything. I bet the moment I leave, you'll call Nina." Geegee snorted. "Don't. I'll tell her myself."

    Geegee laughed. "She'll kill you."

"She talks too much."

    "You do know you both behave the same way right? Which means you talk too much too." Lucille rolled her eyes. "Call her here. I want to hear what she says."

    "This is funny to you isn't it?" Lucille glared.

"It always has been." 

    Nick was practically pouting at Lucille. Even though she wasn't paying him any attention. Too busy putting on her make up. He crawled to the other side of the bed. Close enough to be intoxicated by her perfume. A little stretch and he can touch her. "Stay Cilley."

    She scoffed. "Nick."

"Just another day."

    "Nick, I followed you here. You know I have work too right? You wouldn't hesitate to leave when you have to be somewhere."

    "That's not true." He pulled himself out of bed.

"It is. And you want me to stay another day?" He bent his head. His hands slipped round her waist, planting small kisses on both sides of her neck. Lucille's eyes closed lazily. Tempting. "Nick, I have to go. I already sent for the jet."

    "Send it back." 

"No."

    "You're being cruel."

"I have work to do. So do you. You'll be back in four days."

    "Feels like an eternity."

"You're being over dramatic." She pulled his hands from her waist and stood up. He grabbed her again and made her face him. Lucille chuckled and whined. "Niiiick." 

    "You look beautiful." He touched her hair then stroked her cheek.

    "Thank you. Now let me go." His hold tightened just a bit. "Even Marvin isn't this clingy."

    "Marvin doesn't know what he's missing." She laughed. The phone rang on the other side of the room. He looked at it reluctantly. 

    Lucille smirked. "Time to go Mister A." He groaned and let her go. She used that time to quickly finish getting dressed while he was on the phone. He had no other option than to watch her move around the room. Before long, she was by his side, kissing his cheek. "Bye." She was out before he could reply.

    Another Saturday of doing chores while Marvin sat in front of the TV watching the pretty coloured cartoon characters moving around, a candy bar in his hand that he forgot was there. Lucille made her way from her bedroom, to the livingroom, to the kitchen, to the pantry. Cleaning her way through the house as usual. Till she got to Marvin's room... when Nina isn't around. Picking up the clothes he had thrown around only that morning when she was dressing him up. Keeping his numerous toys back in his toy chest and pulling others from underneath the bed. The maid never got that far with the cleaning. She didn't want her to anyway. Her final chore was to make the bed. The blue and pink sheets were stained with tiny muddy foot prints. She scoffed, pulling the pillows off the bed. She stopped when she saw a well folded, well placed piece of paper. Her brows furrowed as she picked it up, wondering. There was a visible indentation of a circle. She unfolded the paper and a ring fell out, bouncing on the bed for a second. Her heart skipped a beat.