Heroine Of Her Own Life

3. Two Up, Two Down-3

Once in the room the three women shared, they spoke in low voices.

Annie picked up a hairbrush. “Brush my hair for me, Jinny.”

The eldest sister obliged by stroking Annie’s lustrous black hair for several minutes.

When she was done, she turned to Meg. “Would you like yours brushed?”

“It would do mine no good,” said Meg with a rueful smile, arranging her clothes for the next day at the bottom of the bed. “I’m an owl looking out of an ivy bush.” She pulled back the covers, nearly falling into the bed she still shared with Annie, the one they’d shared with sister Lizzie until she’d left to marry Tom Kyle.

“Brushing is exactly what’s needed, that and some Brilliantine,” said Annie. “Because it’s a lovely color, Meggie. Russet, I’d call it. And you should eat more fat.”

“Hmm-mm.” Meg closed her eyes.

“Where are you walking? Up in the Glens?” Jinny asked.

She yawned. “By train to Portrush, and then we’ll walk to Portstewart and back, along the cliffs and the strand. David wants to run the dogs in the water.”

“Well, that will be nice for you, if the weather’s fine, but I wish you’d come with us. I like it when we’re all together.”

“Pity you didn’t think that when I was sent away as a girl,” Annie hissed.

Meg opened her eyes.

Jinny’s face contorted with pain and surprise. “Oh, Annie … you know how sorry I was.” She choked on the slap of her sister’s words.

Meg sat up and looked at two Annies: the corporeal one and her shadow. Recounting the story with patience, she began, “Annie, it was either stay here and work in the linen mill, or go live with Aunt Polly and Uncle Jack. We thought they’d treat you like a jewel, and we knew that the mill would be terrible.” Pausing for a second to collect herself, she drew a deep breath and whispered, “We didn’t know he was a monster.”

“He was that and her no better. Why couldn’t I have stayed and gone to school, like you? At least the half-timers in the mills went to school.” Ire was audible in the whisper. “Lucky me. The aunt and uncle weren’t bad enough, but I had to work in that awful tea factory when I came back.”

“That was Father who thought you had to work, not us. He thought his sister would be good to you—we all thought so. Anyway, I was out of school and in the shipyard kitchen by then and …” Meg shrugged limply when her words ran dry.

Jinny sniffled into a handkerchief and sat on the bed.

“We all regret it, we do … and if I’d been older, with a proper job, it wouldn’t have happened. We’d have kept you with us.”

“What about you, Jinny?” Annie demanded. “You were older, you were working. And Florence? Lizzie? Will was working—what about him? And Bob?”

Jinny eyed her pleadingly. “I am sorry Annie. We did think it would be better for you. We loved our Aunt Polly … before.” She blew her nose and climbed into bed. “Your letters were so cheerful and painted a picture of a nice life. A healthy one.”

Annie’s voice tightened with anger. “She made sure I wrote what she wanted you to think.” She returned to whispering. “And thank you very much for telling us about the Catholic man kicked to death, Meg. Now I’ve no chance of Father considering my marriage to Ned—you got him that good and riled. You wouldn’t understand, would you, never showing any interest in marriage and children. You’ve no real feelings, no normal ones.”

“Ah, leave her be, Annie, leave her be,” ordered Jinny, her voice thick.

But there was never a chance he’d relent about your marrying a Catholic man. Exhausted, Meg sighed and flopped back down. Still, she had to admit that she’d gone too far; she’d seen the fear on Annie’s agonized face as their father had ranted.

Annie threw the hairbrush across the room. It caromed off the armoire and clattered on the floor.

Startled, Meg sat up again. “Annie!”

“You’ve no idea what it was like. You never visited me. You left me there with them, with him … and he …” Annie’s rage was spent, her sorrow beginning.

“Annie, come in my bed, come on,” pleaded Jinny.

Meg watched them moving around in the bed.

“There, there,” Jinny said softly, reaching over to snuff the candle.