God's Game

CHAPTER 12: Insanity

Chapter 12

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For years, Hustasia has been the beacon of safety among the three empires that lie within the country of Exouasia, with no crimes being recorded in and out of the walls. We have prided ourselves with the fact that we are the only empire that does not practice the punishment of death for malefactors but rather seek the truth before giving judgements to offenders of breaking the order in the empire. Our god is a peaceful god after all, and wants justice to be served on equal tables between opposing sides.

The years of peace and order was finally broken in front of Lord Levi's Basilica, during a time of celebration of another year of prosperity and keeping chaos at bay. This attack demonstrated that peace is a thin peace of paper. No matter how much we try and frame the paper to protect it, it only takes a dagger to cut through it.

Unlike the screeching of the woman as she was being restrained by the guards and the terrified screams of Hustasians as they run away in horror, the elites' table was as quiet as a person who had just seen a ghost. The band's reign of music across the Square was quickly divested by terror and disarray. The broken cage of peace wreaked havoc at the end of the staircase.

Chaos rapidly devoured the Square and from the top of the stairs, we had front row seat of the Festival gone haywire. The guards and knights were doing their best to contain the situation while the people frantically ran away in fear. Some of the council and guests on our table have fleed as well.

While I was still mortified, still glued to the floor where I am standing on, still wanting to heave at the sight of the decapitated head facing upwards to our table at the bottom of the stairs. Another cold breeze made the hairs on my body stand up, sending another chill down my spine. It was only then I noticed that I was soaked from the rain. My maroon long gown became heavier as the rainwater continued to add weight to the fabric. But I could not care less.

"Arla," Amidst the noise and chaos, I could faintly hear someone calling my name over and over. Arla. Arla. Arla. As if I was being woken up from a dream— or should I say nightmare.

"Arla, we need to go. You're soaking wet." I looked at the warm hands that touched my arms and to Zev who was as wet as I am. I mindlessly walked up the stairs to the temple while clutching the trench coat he made me wear.

From up the temple, the noise that was surrounding me faded, as if I was distant and safe from the disaster of a festival, as if I was in a separate dimension but I was not. I was just there— with the panic, with the chaos, with the people. I ascended the stairs, and I was immediately pulled away from it all. The temple is indeed a sanctuary and for a moment, I felt relieved when the doors opened.

When the door opened, I was greeted with wet panicking council members. Some were shivering, though I am uncertain if it is because of the rain or because of the fright the dancing woman gave moments ago. The guest from other empires however, seemed to be unbothered by the spectacle earlier but rather more irritated that their expensive clothes were ruined by the heavy rain. Rylene took off her heels and poured out the water that accumulated in her shoes.

My heart pounded when I noticed that my family was nowhere in the crowd. "W-where's my family?" I asked Zev, who was motioning for me to sit on the pew. My hand and jaw were shivering from the cold, the trench coat was not helping as much as I would hope.

"They were still outside when I last saw them." Zev said while attempting to hide that he too was cold from the rain.

"I have to get to my family." With all the heat that remain in my body, I tried to stand up to go back down to come get my family but Zev stopped me and I was too cold to fight back. I fell back on to the wet surface of the pew.

"They're safe, Arla. The guards were ushering your family back up." He said, but my attention was fixed at the door hoping that it would reveal my family soon.

"No. No, no. My mother was just attacked, a-and Ahry and Nicolous! My father and A-alexander, where are they? T-they were right next to me, where are they?" I said, fighting my shivering body and gathering every last heat left in my body.

"Arla, they're fine—" he held me on my shoulders but I flinched at his cold hands. I shrugged them away.

"No, you don't understand, Zev. You have your family with you here. An assassination attempt was done t-to my mother in t-the middle of the festival. Zev, please. I just want to know if they are safe." I said. I looked at him in the eyes, not breaking contact. He looked back into mine, as if thinking what to do next. His jaws moved aggressively as he thought.

He sighed, giving up. "Alright, let's get you warmed up first." He said. Then, out of nowhere, he hugged me tightly.

The gesture surprised me. All of the sudden, I forgot that I was shivering. My heart thumped even faster than it already did. My body was engulfed with intense heat from both of our bodies. It was like two rocks being rubbed together by the first man to create a fire.

"I- I'm all warmed up now." I managed to say. I still have to make sure my family is safe. Zev let goes of me and looks at me in the eyes. I prayed that I was not flushed and looked away.

"Brother, where are you going?" Kanna asked just before we reached the door. We both looked at her at the same time.

"We need to assess the situation, Kanna. Stay with mother." He said. She was leaning on her mother while seated on the pew, both trying to warm up as they got wet from the rain as well. Naima's hair was disheveled from the rain and the winds that blew with it.

"Zev, my darling, stay here. It's not worth it to go help out your," His mother looked at me disdainfully "friend's family. Help us instead, your family; your father is on the field assessing the situation already." Her tone was a teasing one. As if she was glad that the festival got ruined by an assassination attempt.

I was taken aback by what she said. I tried not to look offended by her statement and tried to understand that she too is in shock. Zev looked at me apologetically and I looked back at him, unsure of what to say. I was never used to it, I have not been used to it. I am not used to people meddling with relationships; even this small help of accommodating me in making sure that my family is safe was being blocked. It's been years like this, but I'm still not used to it.

"I am fine." I managed to whisper to him. "You have a family too. Help them." I nonchalantly said even though I was expecting more from him. I guess it is true that expectations often lead to disappointment. With that, I ran out of the doors and stepped into the rain once again.

Leaving that situation behind in the temple, I thought about my family as I descended the stairs. Trying my best not to slip on the wet stone stairs, I ran down as fast as I could. The scene was awfully quiet; I could hear nothing but the angry rain drumming on the ground.

When I reached the bottom of the first staircase, an empty table waited for me. The steak on Alexander's platter was overflowing with rainwater. Some of the heavy wooden chairs that the council was sitting on earlier has fallen to the ground resulting from the panic earlier. Mother's chair was still standing, with the dagger still embedded on the wood.

The bottom of the second staircase, was more chaotic; tables and benches have been turned; the stage that the band was playing on was unoccupied; and the stalls that served food and ale were empty. The guards and knights gathered at the scene trying to clear it from the Hustasians for investigation. The woman was long gone, and though the scene was still a mess, silence eerily reigned on the Square. Only the murmuring of knights and guards, and the pounding of the rain can be heard. I looked at the end of the staircase and noticed that the decapitated head remained untouched, still facing directly at me.

The breath that I was holding in as I was scanning the Square was finally released in relief when I finally saw my father talking to one of the knights. His leather jacket was off and he was badly soaked in the rain. With excitement and relief flowing through my body, I quickly ran down the steps to go to them.

"Father!" I exclaimed as I ran to him, not caring about the slippery marble floor of the Square. He looked at me with joy and motioned the guard to go to his duty. I immediately hugged him and I felt comfort between his huge arms. Warmth quickly went back to my body after leaving when I was in the rain.

"Are you hurt? Where were you? Why aren't you with your mother and siblings?" He asked after our embrace ended.

"Zev assisted me back up to the temple. Where are they? Are they hurt? Where's mother?" I asked back breathlessly.

"They're in the chapel surrounded by guards. Go there now, the holy family's safety is the priority at the moment." He commanded and gestured me to move.

"What about you? You are part of our family too." I said worryingly. Sometimes, I fear father's courage. He's too confident about his duties and missions despite not knowing if it will be his last.

"I'll be fine. Go now, Arla. Please, take care of your siblings." His tone became soft. I nodded in agreement. Once again, I placed my faith into my father's hands. We embraced each other one last time before I turned the opposite direction and head towards the chapel.

Father was not lying when he said that the chapel was surrounded by guards. Recognizing me, they immediately let me in. I was breathless when I reached the doors of the chapel and was as wet as the river. I took a moment to catch my breath before entering the chapel.

As I was expecting, the chapel was in an uncomfortable silence. The nave was cold, and the white marble floor had drops of water on it. The pews were empty, and the statue and murals of Lord Levi eerily stared at me. I followed the drops of water, which I assumed are from my family, to the south transept.

I took a long deep breath, and prayed that my family is fine beyond the door of the transept as I held its knob. With beating heart, I opened the door and revealed my family, mother, Ahry, Nicolous, and Alexander, all huddled up in the corner of the room praying. They all looked up to me in unison and their faces immediately lit up in relief.

Shouting my name in glee, Nicolous jumped up from his seat and hugged me tightly. In his hug I felt solace, erasing Zev's mother, the dancing woman, the decapitated head, and the worry for my father in my mind.

With comfort and joy, I hugged him back. Despite the fabric of our clothes being drenched and water was already dripping on to the white marble floor of the chapel, Nicolous' hug was warm and heartfelt. I could feel our heartbeats matching every knock on both of our ribcages. For a second, I forgot that the fragile glass dome that kept the peace of Hustasia and crimes at bay was broken just moments ago.

"Where have you been? The guards ushered us here in haste and you weren't with us!" Nicolous broke our embrace. His hair was a wet broom of top of his head; some of his front hair were clumped to the side.

"Are you hurt? You look pale." I wasn't given the chance to answer Nicolous' when Alexander asked another question. His usual soft face turns defensive during times when we are in imminent threat.

"Zev helped me out of the rain and took me up the steps to the temple." I finally managed to say. "When I did not see you there, I immediately went back to look for you all." I looked at them individually in the eyes and lingered on mother. "I'm fine, really."

Mother's pale lips formed a smile of relief and the worry on her eyes when she was listening to me talk dissolved immediately. I looked at her for a moment; she was also wet but her hair remained fixed in a ring of braid over her head; her white silk dress was as wet as my maroon ones; her hands were trembling, I assume in both fear and the low temperature in the chapel. With joy that she was unscathed, I returned a genuine smile of relief to her.

The moment the dagger thumped on the backrest of mother's wooden chair, I forgot that I was angry with her. I was reminded that she is still my mother despite the fact that she is sending father on a mission to the most dangerous city in the god-ruled world. At that moment, all my anger and disappointment to my mother were replaced with worry and fear for my mother's life. No matter our disagreements, she is still my mother.

"I am well." She said when she noticed I was staring at her for a long time. I instinctively looked away; for some reason, I felt embarrassed showing emotions to my mother. I am guessing the gap that her decision created is getting wider making it hard for me to show even the slightest weakness to my mother.

A deep silence ensued in the room with only the consistent thrumming of the rain on the chapel roof can be heard. The atmosphere became as thick as an iceberg, none of us daring to speak. Unlike the scene the evening after mother's address a few nights ago, the five of us in this room were muted; our words were lumped in our throats, pushing to get out but remained unsaid yet the silence bears a message no words could ever tell. The peace that our family has been protecting for Hustasia was broken within ourselves which created a noise of deafening silence and placed a boulder in the room on top of our chests.

My siblings' eyes and mine were creating an understandable communication— we were waiting for someone to break the silence. I am certain that my siblings are feeling grave concern the same way I am feeling yet refuse to show it our mother. It is a feeling of stubbornness and subtle embarrassment of showing affection to the person you "hate" the most at the present moment.

"May I ask what happens next?" Ahry finally breaks the glass panes that divided the five of us, which shatters immediately to the ground. I looked at her and back to mother in approval to her question.

"The council and I will look into it." She said after being pulled away from her thoughts. "There will be a trial, of course, but the date is yet to be announced which will most certainly be after the investigation and assessing of witnesses."

"What about you?" Alexander asked. "You're already looking ahead when you should be worrying about yourself, you had just been attacked." I looked at him with furrowed eyebrows, thinking a little bit about what they both said. Alexander's tone was laced with concern and irritation, I was conflicted on what was dominant between the two.

"As I have stated earlier, I am well, Alexander. Thank you for your concern." Mother gave a small smile and took what Alexander said as a sign of concern. Alexander scoffed and looked away. "Worry not about me, darling, worry about the chair. It was the one who took the dagger on full force." Mother tried to laugh the awkwardness away but only made it thicker. Realizing that she was the only one laughing, she stopped.

"And the head? What are we supposed to do about that?" Ahry crossed her arms and raised an eyebrow.

"Like I said, Ahry, there will be an investigation into the events of earlier and that includes the head, the dagger, and the woman." She took a deep long breath.

"I assume the council will be the judges and you will be presiding?" I asked.

"No. I am the victim therefore to have a fair trial, your father will be presiding." She corrected.

"And the woman? Who will defend her?" I followed.

"She has the liberty of defending herself before the council." She took a long pause. "These are none of your concern. Do not worry, your father's diplomatic mission will be postponed due to the unforeseen events. Do you understand?"

None of us replied. We all looked at her with discerning faces. "I understand." We all turned our heads to Nicolous who, after a long awkward silence, replied.

"Good." Mother shortly said and went back to her seat looking exhausted from answering our questions and the earlier events.

I took a seat as well and waited until the guards come through the door and tell us that the coast is clear. I want to get out of this wet dress already. Time only made the room colder and the silence only grew louder. Nicolous fell asleep on my lap while Ahry and Alexander were blankly staring at the white wall. Mother on the other hand was taking her time finishing her glass of water she took from one of the cabinets in the room, looking straight into the mural of Lord Levi.

We were waiting for a number of hours when father came through the door. "Come, let's all go home." He said which all made us sigh in relief.

__________

The sun was shying away again, hiding behind the huge walls of Hustasia, letting the darkness overpower his light. I thought about how the two celestial bodies give and take power harmoniously without ever clashing, and rule the skies. It made me think that if one would over power the other, the light and dark would not have balance— a good thing that none of them possess greed.

Distractions. At the moment, I am even eyeing the heavens for distractions. I am still lounging on the precipice of yesterday's events and I could not seem to get my mind off it. I was stricken for a moment, gazing out my room window across the sea of darkness under the shadow of the wall that simultaneously twinkled as the houses opened their lights to prepare for the night, over the silhouette of the wall offset by the pale pink and yellow sunset and the panoramic view that was one of the glory of Lord Levi's Basilica. After the fiasco yesterday, my siblings and I were not allowed to leave the temple with guards manning my door the entire day. The clanging of the heavy armor that the knights sported violently woke me up yesterday evening when they were making patrols around the temple.

With no surprise, my parents have been busier than ever. Their council meetings begin at the break of dawn and ends at dusk, leaving almost no time for my parents to rest. They perhaps glossed over the fact that mother was just attacked and now they are overworking her, yet again. I understand her duties as a priestess requires her to be strong however, much like my faith on my father, it could only go so far. They are not machines, unfortunately, that do not get tired and requires little to no maintenance. Over all the conflicts that segregate me and my mother, I still do treat her as such and my respect for her as a priestess and as a mother is still present within myself.

My relationship with my father is a different question. Since we were a child, he was the parent who always prioritizes his family over any matter. He makes sure that we were eating ice cream by the river before heading to council meetings, he gets every herb Magister Ammut prescribes whenever we are sick, and he made sure that we were safe before investigating the events of yesterday. I feel a sense of protection whenever he is around that is why I was overflowing with relief when I saw him at the Square yesterday.

Despite my efforts to suppress the thoughts of the Festival, I kept losing my grounds to it and eventually replaying it again and again. The head on the ground and the woman's screech were burned to my brain like branding iron pressed onto a livestock. You caused this was a broken record in my head, replaying over and over, contemplating on how mother could have decapitated a man's head.

You caused this. echoed in my head once again as I was reading a book on my bed. It was loud enough for me to get disturbed while reading. You caused this. this time, it was a whisper to my ear. Out of instinct, I scratched my earlobe as if that would mute the woman's voice inside my head. My heart was pounding in sheer horror. I clawed the sheets of my bed and frantically looked around in fear. Nothing was out of the ordinary; the windows were shut and the stars could be seen twinkling through it; the moonlight lit up a portion of my room through the window, the screen casting a shadow.

My heartbeat calmed down. Everything was too quiet, even my own breathing was muffled. However, through the silence I could hear the two guards outside my door talking. I pressed an ear against the door to hear their conversation.

"... yeah, I've heard." The guard on the left said.

"Crazy, right? For the first time, in the history of Hustasia, the death sentence would be used." My eyebrows furrowed. Did I hear that right? Death sentence?

"Well, to be fair though t'is the first time an assassination attempt was done to a priestess." The other guard answered.

I leaned my head to the wall, uncertain how to process the information. I became cold, just the thought of another death in the premise of Hustasia made me weak. My breathing suddenly became heavier as I recalled mother's statement back in the chapel.

The woman has the liberty of defending herself.

How could she defend herself from the dungeon? She has the freedom of defending herself but she does not have enough liberty to create a defense for herself. And now, she's facing a death sentence. It is unjust.

Once your eyes are opened to injustice, it is a sin to close them again. I will not sit here and turn a blind eye on injustice.