Letters With Boys

Bridget's Journal, Week 14 - December

Monday, December 15th

Well, Diary, the s**t has officially hit the fan.

Since you asked politely, I’ll give you the run-down of exactly what s**t hit exactly what fan.

THE SETTING: My house. Okay, my parents’ house. Decked out in NYU colors and CONGRATULATIONS banners and the whole, nine yards, thanks largely to the help of Gray and Memphis, since I’m a bit short to hang things.

THE OCCASION: Well, you already knew this, but it’s a celebratory party for Tally having gotten into NYU… s***h, an excuse for us to take advantage of my parents yet again not being in town.

THE CONFLICT: Approximately one hour after the arrival of one Talliope Anne Moore, and thus one hour after the initial festivities involving surprises and streamers, two, new guests showed up to the party: Jane Oliver and her dear friend Taylor Swanson—also known as my super-secret lesbian almost-lover.

THE c****x: After approximately twenty minutes of my stealthy avoidance of said almost-lesbian-lover, I was, unfortunately, approached head-on by her in front of Tally, Mem, Gray, AND Kai. (Thankfully, no one else.) Taylor didn’t straight-up out me, but since the poor girl had no idea that I was in the closet, she didn’t exactly say things that lined up with the identity our audience believed me to be leading. I, stupidly, proceeded to make fun of her and pretend I had no idea what she was talking about. She had the good grace to leave without causing a scene, and I was left with four friends who, not being idiots, knew exactly what was going on.

THE MOST UNFORTUNATE PART: If I hadn’t been such an asshole to Taylor, maybe this all could have ended up fine. 

THE SECOND MOST UNFORTUNATE PART: I think Tally is mad at me.

THE LEAST UNFORTUNATE PART: At least now they finally know.

More tomorrow.

Love,

Me

/ / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / /

Tuesday, December 16th

Hello again, Diary.

Well, I’m not sure what’s going on with Tally. Mem’s been pretty cool, if a little overbearing—lots of “I love you”s and checking in to make sure I’m okay. She’s also nudged me about coming out to everyone else now, to which I laughed out loud and quite nearly shouted “ONE STEP AT A TIME” in her face. But at least she means well.

Tally, though…

I guess, to some extent, I get it. I’ve known Tally a lot longer than I’ve known Mem, and I guess, technically, we’re a little closer. And I did keep this secret from her for a very long time.

Doesn’t exactly seem fair, though, does it? For her to be mad at me in this scenario?

I don’t think I can ask Memphis for her opinion on this without causing drama, so maybe I’ll check with Kai.

More tomorrow.

Love,

Me

/ / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / /

Wednesday, December 17th

Well, things have gone from bad to worse.

Tally just found out that I told Kai before I told her.

I guess I should have reached out to Kai and asked him not to reveal that particular bit of information. I guess I should have foreseen how much it would hurt her. That part might even hurt Mem, too—I don’t think she knows yet.

I’ve really dug myself deep into the shitter, haven’t I? Pardon my French.

She didn’t really attack me about it—Tally, I mean. She came up to me at my locker and asked me, really softly, “You told Kai?”

And I got all panicky and stuttery, and I said, “Well, yeah, but only because it was different with him—you know, he goes to a different school and all.”

And then she walked away.

So, there you have it. I’m a shitty friend, and I’ve broken her heart and her relationship.

Love,

Me

/ / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / /

Thursday, December 18th

So, Diary—

I’m sitting in English class, watching with rapt attention as Tally and Mrs. Indigo get into it about her switching writing partners again. 

“You’ve already switched once, Talliope,” Mrs. Indigo is saying. She’s one of those teachers who insists on calling Tally by her full name, no matter how many times Tally begs them not to. “What’s the problem this time?”

“He’s a liar, and a bad person. And I want nothing to do with him anymore.”

“Well, sometimes, we have to deal with bad people and liars in life. I’m not asking you to meet with him in person, or to carry on any kind of real relationship, Talliope. I’m just asking you to continue with the assignment. Has he threatened you, or hurt you pyshically?”

“Well, no, but—”

“Then that’s my final word.”

Now Tally’s saying she’ll just take the failing marks on the assignment, and Mrs. Indigo is saying that will affect her NYU status.

Fuck.

“It’s fine,” I say suddenly, jumping out of my seat to join them at Mrs. Indigo’s desk. “She’ll do the assignment.”

And what I mean by that is, I’ll do it for her.

It’s been fun, Diary. But after the holidays, I guess I’m going back to writing Kai again.

Love,

Me