The Reincarnated Luna

Uncertain

Rowan stared Nia down until she reluctantly walked away. It wasn't until she was out of eyesight that we continued walking. Mana had finally calmed down and was sleeping in my arms as we headed back to the Packhouse. He was getting bigger and it was getting harder to carry him like this. I couldn't tell if my heart was aching because of the bitter sweetness of Mana growing up, or that my insecurities about Nia and Eli had been correct.

"I'm sorry about her." Rowan broke my train of thought.

"What? Don't apologize. She's just saying what everyone else is thinking."

"No, she isn't. Many of us truly believe in you. She's just-"

"Always been in love with Eli. Which I don't really understand. If Denver and Nia are mates shouldn't their bond be undeniable?"

"Not exactly-" Selene had started to try to explain it to me, but Rowan kept talking too.

"It doesn't always work that way. The Elders expect mates to be together. Especially when you're higher ranked in the pack. They say that it is sacred and that it strengthens our bonds with our spirits and our wolves." I was a bit shocked. Mine and Eli's connection was so intense I couldn't imagine not wanting to be with him. Well, for me it is.

Maybe he doesn't feel the same then. He didn't even tell me he was leaving. Did he tell Nia?

"So does everyone experience the mate bond differently?" I swallowed hard, trying to keep my anxiety and voice low so I didn't wake Mana.

"I guess. I can't speak from experience. I thought I had found my mate once, but I have heard that the mate bond can be purely platonic. I've just never seen it that way."

"Like I've told you before. The mate bond is just there to let you know that person is special to you. It is not set in stone that you should be with them." My heart sunk thinking about Eli being with Nia. Thinking about him choosing her over me.

"You sad you thought you found your mate once? What happened?" He had a sad smile across his face as he looked into the sky.

"I met her when I went to the Colonies on a mission." My heart sped up a tad. I wanted to know who she could be. What type of person would complete Rowan?

"I bet she had to be elegant and kind of a smartass to keep up with you." That got a hearty laugh out of him that startled Mana. He jumped down from my arms and stretched.

"She is. She's very headstrong and feisty. She just doesn't feel the same for me."

"Well she could still technically be your mate then couldn't she? Is she still in the colonies? It's dangerous for her to stay there. Should we go get her?" The packhouse was getting closer and the treelights started to become brighter as the sun began to set.

"It's okay. I think she's happier where she is now anyway. There is no reason for me to confuse her by randomly confessing."

"She's stupid then."

"Why do you say that?" He stopped dead in his tracks, tilting his head to the side as he faced me.

"Well anyone should be happy if their mate wants them or feels that way about them." I thought about feeling unwanted by Eli and shivered. "Not to mention she is lucky to have someone as attractive and nice as you. I honestly don't know what I'd do without you here to keep me grounded. She's missing out." A huge grin made his dimples deepen and his bouncy curls swayed in the chilly wind. I wrapped my arms around myself, cursing that I left my clothes at the gym. Rowan swiftly took his shirt off and put it over my head before I could protest. I opened my mouth to say something but Rowan's intense gaze caught me off guard.

"She's pretty hardheaded at times, but I could honestly say she is the most beautiful woman I have ever met. She has such a pure heart and I have never met anyone who tries as hard as she does. Even if I never confess I'll always be protecting her from the shadows." Weirdly I felt my face begin to flush. Even though I knew he wasn't talking about me I was overly embarrassed and unable to comment on anything he said. Eventually, he chuckled and motioned for us to go inside.

"Come on, Lilly's got to be waiting on you." Silently I followed him, a bit confused feeling as if I missed something.

"I'm gonna head up and get another shirt, but you should head on to dinner. I'll see you." Without batting an eye he turned and walked up the left side of the large cherry wood double staircase. I stood there for a second.

What was that? I wonder why she doesn't feel the same? If the mate bond is that complicated how can I be sure Eli feels the same about me?

"You have to trust in your own feelings. Rowan was content with seeing his mate without him because he truly wants what is best for her. When you truly love someone no matter how much it hurts you you will always want what is best for them. Even if it means sacrificing your future with them." I let my feet carry me into the busy dining hall and no sooner than I stepped through the large archway Lilly was running my way from the rows of tables.

"Come on, it's rice! Rice!" This girl has always loved rice. It doesn't matter the type. I let her drag me to the table, which Mana eagerly jumped on. I scooped him up in my arms so that he wasn't trying to get into everyone's food. I greeted Sam, Corra, and the various other people sitting at the table. Denver and Nia were nowhere to be found. Looking around I noticed there were three other people accompanied by Manticores sitting beside them or at their feet.

"It's a truly wonderful sight isn't it?" Corra whispered as she pulled me to sit down beside her.

"Yes, it really is. I would have never imagined Manticores and people working together. Let alone dining together." A large plate of butter chicken and rice was sat in front of me. I put a little bit of rice on the floor for Mana.

"It's all thanks to you. I never would have thought in a million years we would view Manticores as anything but vicious monsters, but now-" She bent down to stroke Mana's head, who purred in return. "Now I kind of want to help them." My face lit up listening to her.

"Tomorrow before my training I have a progress meeting with the group of scientists rehabilitating them, would you like to come?"

"Absolutely!" She beamed. By the time I had gotten done fighting Lilly to sit down my food was cold. I nibbled a bit until the room quieted down and Lilly started to settle down. It was just Lilly and me at the table, along with Corra and Sam until a woman I had never met before walked up to us. Her hands slamming hard on the table causing her dark dreads to sway and fall over her toned shoulder. The few people left in the room all turned and stared.

"I don't know who you think you are, but this needs to stop." I was taken aback by the aggressiveness in her voice.

"Jedda stop-" Sam stood.

"No! Nia was right about her! She just waltzes in here with the protection of the Alpha thinking she can do whatever she wants." A flash of Maria dumping her tray on me as she said almost the same words echoed in my head, causing me to slowly stand as they bickered back and forth. It wasn't until I noticed Jedda c**k her foot back and aim for Mana's head that I moved. I dashed from my side of the table and swiftly put my leg in front of hers, blocking her kick from following through. Mana growled behind me.

"Feral lover." Jedda's eyes squinted. I ignored her comment, knowing that was supposed to hurt my feelings. Sam was now standing at my side trying to get between me and Jedda.

"I don't care what your opinion of me is, but you will not harm any child- Amaruq, human or otherwise. That includes cubs." I kept myself calm and never let my eyes drift from hers. There was a falter in her demeanor when she realized she wasn't going to win this pissing contest. She yanked her arm out of my grasp but didn't put any space between us. I could see the rings of detail in her burning amber eyes. I started to become overwhelmed with emotions. Anger was first and foremost as she stared daggers into me. Then there became hints of fear and doubt leaking through the cracks.

"She's scared."

She must be the type to hide her pain with anger.

"They all are here. Life can be normal for the most part but there's no telling how many of her friends and loved ones she's seen be torn to shreds by Manticores."

"I get it" I whispered, softening my tone. "It's different; it's terrifying to try to make peace with something you were taught to hate. Sadly we have to show a little faith for things to be able to change. Change starts with us, as does a better future." Her face stayed the same but her emotions shifted and swirled inside me from anger and fear eventually settling on intrigued. She took a step back from me relaxing a tad. Sam took this chance to step between us making me realize Corra had been holding a confused Lilly. Mana hopped onto my shoulder digging his talons in. I made sure to pet him, not only to calm him down but to also show Jedda that he wasn't a threat.

"I know you have concerns. If you'd like to come to my meeting with the Manticore Project tomorrow you're welcome too. We'll be meeting at the entrance to the lab at Seven." She stood stiff and questioning but the way she nodded at me reminded me of a soldier blindly following commands.

"You've got some guts. I'll see what you've got tomorrow but I don't have high expectations." She lied. I don't know why I could feel it, but I did along with her distrust and disgust as she looked at Mana. She glided out of the room almost expertly. If I wasn't watching I wouldn't have known.

"You have to be more careful!" Sam scolded as I cleaned up dinner and calmed Lilly down.

"Honey she dealt with that just fine." Corra smiled at me reassuringly as she helped me.

"Yeah but that was Jedda herself! She is in league with the Elders and is one of the strongest warriors. Even if you didn't know that Al, she very obviously gives off an overwhelmingly strong aura so why would you bulk up to her like that?" We headed out of the dining room once everything was cleaned up and Sam ended up having to carry Lilly on her back. Once we finally got back to mine and Lilly's room Sam went in first to lay her on the couch.

"Don't mind her," Corra whispered in the hall just outside the door. "She just cares for you, and Jedda is one of our most fearsome fighters. She works hand and hand with the strongest of elders and Rowan's elite team. If you upset her you upset the whole army." I swallowed.

"Gee thanks. What an inspirational speech Corra. No pressure." She chuckled softly.

"But she respects you now don't you see? You made the right decision facing her head-on. Now maybe we'll actually be able to change people's minds. You've only met one Elder, and the Elder's Speaker. Even if you become Luna you'll want to have them supporting you." I understood what she was trying to say but I tried to think back to when I met the Elder she was speaking about.

"The man in the conference room when you first pitched the idea of working with the Manticores. Along with the person with the pixie cut who was also your doctor. That was an Elder and the Speaker For The Elders. It seems like you're doing great getting on their good said so let's not f**k it up tomorrow." I made an o shape with my mouth before nodding.

"So does that mean you'll both be there?"

"Well of course. We'll have to make sure you don't dig yourself into a deeper hole." Sam whispered exasperated.

"We have your back. You're going to do great tomorrow, I just know it." Cora hugged me tightly, almost smothering me with the force behind it. I waved goodnight to then and headed inside to cover Lilly. I snuggled in beside her trying to calm my thoughts and let sleep take me knowing tomorrow is going to be nerve-racking.