Secretly Yours

Chapter 8

Blair’s POV

It has been two days since the day Blake walked out of my room. I wanted to call him or go to him to figure out what was wrong with him. But part of me is pulling me back and keeping me from going after him. I realized that I can’t just keep chasing after him. That’s what I have been doing for the past few years. I keep chasing him. That’s why I never got to move on. It wasn’t because of him, it was because of me.

I wrapped my arms around my bended knees as I sat by the windows watching the heavy droplets of rain fall. I heard my door opened, and my smile immediately turned into frown as soon as I met my sister’s eyes. Pity flashed over her as she shook her head in disbelief.

“I can’t believe you missed school just to look this pathetic.” She remarks. Betty is only 14 years old and she’s more outgoing than me, and had several boyfriends.

“I’m sick,” I lied.

She rolled her eyes as if she could smell my lies. “Of course, you are.” She says it with sarcasm. “By the way, Harry cornered me in the Hallways and he was asking about you. You know what’s interesting?” She grinned.

“What?”

“The way Blake looks at him as he wanted to kill him. Why can’t you just date the two of them to get this over with?” She said it as it was easy.

“Betty, I’ve never even had a boyfriend let alone date two at the same time. And, I have already told you. Blake has made it clear to me that he does not return my feelings, and I’m intending to keep our friendship the way it was before and I need to move on.” I said. And, I suddenly remember, why am I explaining this to my little sister?

“I doubt it. Because if you really want to move on, you would have dated that Harry guy by now. And yet, here you are, in your pjs and has no intention of going out of your comfort zone. This is the reason why you will never be able to move on. Because you’re too stuck with him and you romanticized your friendship with Blake.” She said, and walked towards me. “Sis, don’t be the loser who always waits for that guy to come running to her. Get it into your head, it’s never gonna happen.”

“Betty, you’re only 14 years old. You know nothing about guys--” She interrupted me.

“Trust me, I know enough. I’ve dated plenty of guys, and some of them are your classmates.” She winked.

I narrowed my eyes at my 14 year old sophomore sister. For dating my classmates despite the countless times I have warned her not to do it and for making me feel like a total loser.

“I’ll be happy to help you start now.” She said. My brows with confusion as to what she’s really talking about, but I somehow understand what she's saying. I just had to confirm it.

“I’ll help you move on and in order to do that you have to change something,” She says. Looking at me from head to toe. Examining me as if I were a math problem that needs to be solved. Since Betty isn’t good at Math or any subject that relates to numbers. She’s solving my appearance.

“Like what?” I said. I stand up straight. She took off my ponytail from my tangled hair that I haven’t comb, God knows how long.

“You have to go to a salon to fix your hair. Maybe a Brazillian BlowOut will do the trick and we have tame those brows of yours.” She says, shaking her head in disbelief.

“Sometimes, I wonder if you’re really a girl.” She sighed.

I kept quiet as she slowly sounded like Niana whenever she’s scolding about the way I dress. Then I remember when Blake basically told me to copy how the girls in our school dresses. 

“And, we have to get rid of those garbage you keep in your closet.”  Betty began, and I followed her towards my closet. Watching her pulling all of the clothes I have on the floor. When I realized what she was doing, I pushed her away and grabbed the clothes I have loved.

She shakes her head again and the pity in her eyes comes back. “This is the exact problem with you, Blair. You’re not willing to give up the things you’ve grown to. You’re afraid to try new things.”

“I can’t just throw these things away, Bet. I grow up with these,”

“Like how you grew up with Blake.” She said, and grabbed it from my grasp, throwing it back to the floor. “Look, if you don’t want to do this, that’s okay. If you’re okay being the same pathetic Blair who’s waiting for Blake to love her. Fine! No, actually it’s not fine with me. I watched you watch him fall in love with another girl and watch him while that girl broke his heart. I know it broke your heart too. Blair, you need a change. Just for once, please. I’m so sick watching my sister get hurt over and over again.”

I was really surprised to have her say this to me. All this time, I thought Betty was the spoiled brat sister I need to deal with. But, it turned out she was dealing with me, watching me hurt myself all this time. I thought my siblings needed me, it turned out I am the one who needed them.

I spotted the red dress, I grabbed it. Betty nearly narrowed her eyes until she recognized whose dress was it. “It’s mom’s. Isn’t it?” she clarified.

She gave me a different look. I’ve seen that look before when she found out our mother was gone.

I nodded.

“I thought you hated her,” She says.

“I do,”

“Then, why are you still keeping it? You miss her, don’t you?”

“I miss the mother I thought we had, not the mother who ran away with another man.” I said.

As soon as the words left my mouth, I immediately regretted it. Not because of my mother, but because of Betty. I don’t want her to remember the woman who gave birth to us that way. I want her to remember the woman who I thought loved us more than anyone, not the woman who chose another man over her own children.