Secretly Yours

Chapter 5

Blair’s POV

I swallowed as I felt my chest tightened as I looked at him with a steady gaze and smile. But underneath this smile is a broken heart and unrequited love. I sighed softly. How many times must you break my heart, B?

He grabbed my soda from my grasp, “Give it to me,” He says.

“You’re not drinking?” I asked him and gestured at the whiskey. 

His left brow arches, “Why, you want me to drink?” He says. His lower lip was wet with the soda.

I shake my head, “No.” I said. “I don’t like it when you’re  drunk,”

She remembers the last time when he was drunk and there was just the two of us alone here in Den. It was last summer both Tay and Niana were on vacation with their families. So, I was left alone to comfort a broken hearted Blake.

Niana grabbed the other bottle from Tay and chugged it down. He frowned. He hates it when Blake and Niana would directly drink from the bottle.

“You might as well swallow the whole bottle Niana.” He grunted. 

Blake stares at me. The kind of stare as if he could see right through me. “Me too. I f*****g hate it when I’m drunk. It makes me think things I don’t want in my head.” He says.

How I wish he would tell me what it is. 

I was eyeing the cup of red that was supposed for him. I made a brave decision when I grabbed it off the table and drank it. Feeling the cold liquid pushing down my throat. When I put it back on the table, I could see it in his face that he didn’t expect that I would chug down his drink in one shot.

“Fuck.” He says. “I never thought you could do that. You despise the smell of alcohol.” The surprise was clear on his face.

“Then, you don’t know me that well, Blake.” I said. “You never did.” I snorted out.

“Why did you do that?”

“It’s true I hated it, but the real reason is. I’m afraid to do things I have never done or tested before. But, since high school is about to end. I want to try things I’m afraid to do before.” I said.

I grabbed the bottle of whiskey and poured it on my red cup. I sipped again. It tasted foul but I was already addicted to its bitter taste because of the vibes it's giving. Each drink offered seems like a better and better idea as it giving me more confidence that I never even had before.

“Is that the reason why you’re talking to that creep?” He asked.

“No. Harry’s a nice guy but--” I sighed. No matter how confident I feel right now, I couldn’t say the words to him. I couldn’t tell that he’s the only guy I want.

My hands gripped the bottle in my hands, my eyes swiveling towards the back of my head in a distressed sense of a headache. I tilted my head towards the edge of the couch as I took a long swig of the dark substance that affected me. I sigh as the walls become part of a fun house, changing figures in a blink of an eye. My breath was the underlying cause of the smell of alcohol that entered my nostrils, and my mouth was sore from the amount of alcohol that I poured down my throat.

Niana huffed and rolled her eyes on us. She suddenly burst out laughing. Tay sighed.

“Niana, I swear to god, if you won’t stop laughing like a psycho. I will f*****g call the mental hospital right now.” Tay said.

She ignores him. Her eyes were sternly looking at Blake with pity.

“I knew you weren’t smart, but I never thought  that you would be this i***t, Blake.” She says. Her eyes were a bit slanted. She’s wasted.

“She’s in love with you, you fool.” She blurted out. Blake chuckles and tries to wrap his arms around her. But she yanked his arms away.

“Blair is in love with you for 6 years and you’re a f*****g fool for not seeing her as who she really is. But all you’ve ever seen is Ysabelle and after she screwed you over and over again, Blair was always there for you. No matter how many times it broke her heart watching you fall in love with someone else only for that person to break yours.”

“That’s enough.” I said with a warning look to Niana. But, her eyes were trained on Blake. Who was utterly surprised and obviously doesn’t know what to do. Niana just spilled the biggest tea on him that I kept for years and he was totally oblivious. Which hurts me more. Because he never really saw me the way I see him.

She turned to look at me, tears were filling her eyes. I don’t understand what she’s trying to do. “No, it isn’t enough Blair! You can’t keep this secret forever.”

“But it isn’t yours  to tell either!” I stood up and turned on my heel towards the exit door. I heard heavy footsteps following me. I didn’t bother to look who it was until a strong hand grabbed my wrist and pulled me back. I slammed against a strong and firm chest, when I looked up. I was staring at Blake’s eyes with tears in mine. I tried to pull away from him but his grip was too hard.

“B,” He sighs.

I guess this is the right time I should ask him the only question that has been bothering me for years. The only question why I can’t move on.

“Did you ever see me more than just your friend?”

He shut his eyes as if he were in pain and in that moment I already have my answer. No. I had it all along. I just didn’t want to believe it.

“Bla--” I cut him off. I can’t let him finish that sentence.

“I got it, Blake.” I smiled as tears fell to my lips.

“Loud and clear,” I added.