Thorns of Roses

A Life

Song for this Chapter:

Story of Us-Tinashe

CHAPTER 68

CORINNE

Two weeks have passed.

Two weeks without a text or even a call from him.

It’s like he just accepted that I let go.

Did I let go?

I still don’t know.

I called Anne, and told her what happened she told me that she gets that I love Blaze, but sometimes the strongest form of love is to let go.

She even said that Blaze is married with me, I love him, but will he ever be happy being with me if I am wrong that he is in love with me too?

She said that we’re going to make each other miserable trying to fix something that wasn’t even broken in the first place.

And everything she says makes sense.

I am trying to survive the marriage that isn’t a marriage after all. It was a merge between two powerful families who needed each other.

Grandma has been so patient with me. She was considerate and caring for me during my stay with her here in Pennsylvania. The place is cozy, the garden is full of flowers and the breeze is fresh. Quiet and peaceful, there are only a few people in the area. Grandma was right, I can rest well here at her place.

Sometimes in the morning she already sees me sitting in front of my phone, waiting for him to call or text me. And when my phone rang, I hurried to check and see who it was, hoping it was him but it wasn't.

Diesel and Carina call me often. but I don't answer because I don't want to talk right now. During the first days to five days, I waited and waited for his call until I got fed up. For a week I was like a robot who couldn't move much. But after some time, somehow, I got used to not hearing anything from him. I can move somehow and talk to Grandma. Smiling a little. But at night, I can't help but think that they are together now and happy in our own house. No matter how much I put it out of my mind, I couldn't do it. And the next day, I'll act like nothing happened.

I can’t say that I am much okay than I was when I leave New York, because inside I know I was still the same.

I decided to walk on the park that afternoon, and my phone ring, it’s Diesel.

I answered before taking a long deep breath. It’s been a while since I talked to him. “Die—”

“Oh, s**t! Corinne, thank god you answered.”

I chuckle “I am sorry if I made you worried.”

“Where are you?”

“Somewhere nice and cozy?” I smiled.

“Are you okay?” he pressed.

I nod even though he can’t see me “I am, at least physically, I am.” I sighed and clutch my chest as if checking its heartbeat. “—but inside I can say that I am healing.”

“I missed you, C. so much.”

“I miss you too, Die.”

"Look, C. Our graduation day is almost here. Don't tell me you forgot? That day is very important to you." He chuckled.

Shoot, yeah he’s right. I forgot. How can I ever forget something like that?

“Shit.” I mutter and he chuckle on the other line.

“I wanted to see you one last time on our graduation day, C.”

“One last time, what do you mean?”

"You remember the night I told you that I would talk to Uncle and Blaze, I talked to them that night. They're willing to let it slide as long as Carina and I go to Europe for some time until Blaze has passed the throne of Cosa Nostra. In that way, I can prove to her that I don't care about the title anymore and I just want my family and Carina to be safe--"

“Until when?”

"Until Blaze has an heir, meaning when he has a child. Cosa Nostra can be passed on to him."

I sighed and close my eyes, it will take a long time not unless he decides to impregnate Hannah and build his own family, divorcing me. “That’s—that’s a long time, Die.”

“We’re going to be fine, C.”

“Is that Corinne?” It’s Carina on the background that made me smile hearing her voice. “Give it to me.” A shuffle on the other end “Corinne? Is that you?”

“Hey, Carina. How’ve you been?”

“I miss you b***h, you better come home this instant. I got your acceptance letter in Julliard’s!”

I froze “What?”

“You just got accepted in Julliard’s Corinne, so you better come home.”

Something inside me ignite, like a dead heart of mine suddenly got a heartbeat for a minute.

I was happy.

“You better not be joking about Julliard’s, Carina.” I warn.

“I am not.” She chuckles “Come home and read the letter for yourself.”

That night, I can’t sleep.

I kept thinking that maybe there’s still a life waiting for me in New York.

That maybe I can still have a fresh start in Julliard’s.

But biggest fear is facing him again.

Can I face him?

Grandma knock on the door and I let her in, she was holding a cup of hot chocolate that we shared in the cold night.

“You wanted to go home.” She starts.

"Why are you and Blaze able to read my thoughts? Am I that easy to read?" I chuckled.

“No, you’re not. In fact, you are so hard to read.”

“Then how?”

“Because Blaze and I knew you well and cared about you a lot. You see, other people will find it difficult to read you because you are not that important to them. But it's easy for Blaze because he knows you and he took his time to learn everything about you."

“Meaning?” I sip the chocolate.

“Meaning he loves you. I still didn’t know why he’s doing what he doing, but believe me, I can see it in his eyes that he loves you.”

Another tear.

“You think?”

“I didn’t think about it, I know it.” She smiled at me warmly.

“I’ll go home.”