Thorns of Roses

Wasn't happy after all

Song for this Chapter:

Lose you to Love Me-Selena Gomez

CHAPTER 49

CORINNE

That morning, as I walked out of that bedroom holding my own suitcase for the weekend. The breeze was cold, the morning sky looks lavender in color. Everything is silent all I can hear is the birds chirping nearby, and all I can see is the man I love bidding his farewell to the man who used to be his father through all the years.

They are away from me, away from where I am standing as I am watching him shakes his uncle’s hands in gratefulness and pride.

I have known Diesel for years to know that all he wants is to make Havoc proud of him. And I guess, right now he earns it from the smiles they’re both wearing. For the sacrifice Diesel’s can offer for the family, for the blood that was rushing in his veins, his duty.

I am hurt.

But at least, not broken anymore as I imagined him waiting on the altar for someone else, for someone that isn’t me, for my sister.

I still love him though, I can still feel it every time my heart beats when I am looking at him.

If not, I wouldn’t be disappointed at him just like I am now.

But I know, what we have won’t take us anywhere. He needed Carina to stay in line and in power, and I do the same with Blaze.

I know you may think that I am such a cold heartless b***h, ruining my friend’s relationship for my own evil intentions just to save my ass. But that’s just the way this world works. Or, at least for us.

Diesel, Carina, Blaze and Me.

This is how our world will revolve each other.

Money, power and dominance.

I know he loves me.

Even not in the way I expected him to love me. Even if he didn't even reciprocate the love, I was willing to give him until my last breath. I know he loves me. It's not because the love I gave was not given back to me, not that he loves me less, maybe he loves me with all he can give and offer it wasn’t just enough for me.

All I hoped is that he takes good care and maybe someday have it in him to love my sister. To look at my sister the same way he looks at me, and to be happy with her even if it wasn’t because of me.

He deserves happiness, and so is Carina. Nothing less.

I bow my head, unable to look at him when he hops on the driver seat of his car, my tears at bay.

I can’t.

And now, how can I expect myself to watch the wedding he had that I long and wished it was with me, but didn’t.

How can I?

As for me, I wished the time will come that I can look at him, them with nothing but happiness and contentment from the life I have right now.

I wished I can move on. I wished I can forget. I wished to unloved him.

“Didn’t even say goodbye?”

I don’t have to turn around to see who talks beside me. I can see him in my peripheral vision moments ago already watching me.

He was now leaning on the door wall of his mansion, smoking on his right hand, whilst the left hand is inside his jeans pocket.

“Don’t need to, we just don’t say goodbye.”

“You still love him.” It wasn’t a question, it’s a statement.

“I do.” I sigh “—and what would someone do if they love someone and know you’re not the one he needs?” I smiled bitterly as I watch Die droves off the porch.

“What?”

This time, I looked at Blaze. He looks magnificent in the morning too “Simple, Angry god. You’ll let them go.”

His stare stays at me. “Ride with me.” he fished his car keys on his pocket. “—and it wasn’t a question.”

Him and his bossy ass. I sighed and followed him on where his car is. One thing I learned about Blaze, you couldn’t even say no, I mean in all aspects there is.

After a twenty minutes’ drive out of New York. We stopped on a private airport. I don’t know what this called. But a private huge jet, I mean huge and luxurious jet is already waiting for us along with some staff.

“Faster.”

“Is this Mayhem’s jet?” I ask him while trying to keep up walking with him, but I swear this man has long legs that every one step he took is three for me.

“Mine.”

My mouth gaped in awe. How can nineteen-year-old boy hold accountability of this huge and sophisticated possession in life?

Once again, I am slapped with poverty.

Because truth be told, I wasn’t rich, I was just the fake daughter of someone’s rich.

I was greeted warmly by the staff. There’s food, wine and other things we might need inside the jet. There’s bed and comfy chairs and also there’s a f*****g stewardess ready to jump on Blaze’s c**k right now looking at him relentlessly.

Blaze still didn’t notice the woman’s eye undressing him already while we settle on our seat. So, I clear my throat to get the woman’s attention and gave her the best b***h look I can ever muster.

The audacity of this woman to look at some man who’s with his fiancé.

She smiled at me awkwardly then took off.

“Didn’t peg you for being possessive, Darling.” His tone is full of sarcasm. Especially on the darling part.

I sat down and pretend nothing goes on “What? I didn’t do anything.”

“Sure.” He closes his eyes.

I checked my phone if there’s any message comes from Hannah. To no avail.

“You think it was your Dad?” I ask him even though I already knew the answer to it.

“Maybe.” He took a deep breath “—but part of me knows it was because of you.”

“You love her?”

“Mmhh.” He didn’t even answer in yes or no. but at least, he answers. Does he love her?

After a very silent long five hours and twenty-seven minutes on that jet with him, he was asleep and I was drunk. I think I drink the whole bottle of wine all throughout the fly.

Figured, I might need the strength with the help of some alcohol.

Blaze wakes up, and scolded the stewardess for giving me wines while he sleeps, she deserves it though, for eye f*****g my fiancé. Before we got off the jet, I turn around to looked at the woman and smiled at her evilly. The thought of me being b***h and cheeky makes me laugh, silly me.

Blaze hook his strong long arms on my waist, holding me up while we walk to our car.

Ours.

The thought of sharing something with him makes me smile. What is wrong with me?

“What’s so funny, drinker?”

“Drinker now, not Darling?” I teased and I looked up at him and he’s now already looking at me.

He scoffed. “Just shut up.”

“You wouldn’t tell me to shut up when I am moaning your name.” I smiled cheekily, I will blame this to the alcohol.

“You will shut up when my c**k is inside your loud mouth, Darling.”

There’s a sudden seriousness the way he told me that, and heat surge instantly all over my body at the thought of it.

“You want that?” He growls so close to my ear and in just one swoop, he shoved me inside his car. And I heard him laugh. Dickhead.

When we reached the hotel, I am not that drunk anymore.

But he still has his arms on my waist for support. “I will just pay my sister a visit on her room.”

“You want me to go with you?”

I know Havoc gave him a task to watch and protect me today, maybe that explain a little bit of gentleness on me.

I shakes my head “No, I am fine.”

“Sure.” And he gave me a key pass “—We’re on penthouse. Rented the whole floor.”

“What?” I hiccupped and he laughed.

“Go on.”

Once I am outside Carina’s hotel room door, I knocked.

“Who’s that? Marco is that you?”

I smiled painfully, she calls him by his real name. while I called him what everyone’s calling him.

“It’s me.” I answered her.

She opens her door and hugs me instantly. she invites me in and I can see her beautiful and elegant wedding dress on a mannequin.

“It’s beautiful.”

I looked at her and she’s looking at her wedding gown with tears on her eyes and smile on her lips. “It is.”

She’s happy.

She wipes her tears and clears her throat “Sorry, I am being insensitive.”

“No, I am fine. Don’t worry.”

“Corinne, you should probably go. Mom and Dad will be here shortly. I don’t want him seeing you.” Her voice is full of tenderness and concern.

I nod “Yeah, I just came by to see you.”

She smiled and hugs me again “Thank you, C.”

C?

That’s what Diesel’s used to call me, instead of answering I just pat her in her back and kissed her cheek gently. “I am happy for you.”

She cried again with happiness for the approval I just gave. “Thank you so much.”

As I close her hotel room door, I just realized that I wasn’t happy after all.