Thorns of Roses

Diesel's Wedding Part 2

Song for this Chapter:

A Thousand Years-Christina Perry

CHAPTER 52

CORINNE

I held onto Blaze's hand and arm very tightly as we entered the church, walking away from my parents. Or should I say, my fake parents. I looked straight and looked at Havoc who was smiling as if he was proud of the strength and courage, I showed in front of the people who abused me. If only they knew how much I wanted to run away from this place, if only they knew the fear and trembling, I felt behind my brave and sweet smile. But Blaze knows, Blaze felt it. My fear, my self-doubt. Out of all the people here today who see me with my parents, only Blaze knows how much I fear the people who are supposed to protect me.

“You did great, you can stop shaking—” He held on my hands that’s been holding him on his arms tightly “—I’m here.”

I looked up at him, I know something shifted between the air of the both of us. I mean, I can feel it on myself. Something changed inside me, the way I smile at him, the way I cling onto him like he’s the anchor on my boat, the way I’m looking at him and thinking that he can protect me and he won’t fail me.

I needed him. And I don’t know if I just need him or it is something else.

I nod “I know.”

He smiled while leaning down on me, I know eyes were onto us. But right now, I don’t care. “You are so brave, but for me you will bent on your knee.”

Heat course all over my body once again. “You don’t know how much I wanted to bed you down and eat you alive with that dress on.”

I just stare at him, swallowing hard. I didn’t even need to answer him because he already knew how much I wanted that.

He smirks, and kissed my forehead “Need to be there.” he points to the altar, he’s Diesel’s best man.

I just nod “Sure.”

After the wedding coordinators arranged us based on the entourage taken by Carina, I am the last one to walk inside the isle before Carina. I can almost hear the song being played inside the church, A Thousand Years by Christina Perry. I slowly walked down the aisle approaching the altar, but instead of looking at Diesel for the last time and thinking that I should be the one he’s waiting at the altar, my eyes searched for Blaze. And when I found him standing next to Diesel already watching me walk down the aisle getting closer and closer. I know what I am feeling about him right now. I don't know when it started or when my heart beat for him, but as I walked closer to the altar and looked at his warm eyes, I knew I had fallen in love with the Devil. Tears in my eyes start to fall, and I see Blaze's confusion as to why I'm getting emotional. I know he'll think it's about Diesel marrying someone else, but no. I am being emotional because I am glad, I had felt this love when I needed it, he came in the right exact moment I needed him. I wipe my tears and stand on the side and avoid looking at him further, but I know he is still looking at me. Why did I just now realize that I love him, now that everything is so complicated? He seems to love my friend. Now I can hurt other people by my selfish feelings once again, the way I hurt Carina by loving Diesel.

Fate has something against me, I guess. I can't help but think that maybe I committed a sin that was too heavy in my past life to punish me like this now.

Maybe that is the reason why I easily gave up on Diesel on the last time of our relationship, maybe because I hate I didn’t have his attention anymore, that he already cast his eyes on someone else. Maybe that is the reason why I didn’t even try to pursue the relationship I have with Die, it’s because I am longing for him. But I am just too stubborn and cold hearted to admit to myself that I want him, that it wasn’t just s*x, I need him just as much I can admit it.

I close my eyes trying to regain my consciousness for what’s happening around me.

It seems to be slow motion the way I walked closer to him. I can still feel his eyes on me. but I can’t look at him, when I look at him once more, he will know what’s going on in my mind.

He’s going to figure out that I am in love with him.

I still don’t know what I will do with this emotion. I need to sort my feelings out.

The wedding ceremony went so on and so forth.

The exchanged vows that I didn’t even understand, because, how could I?

I can’t even understand myself right now.

The way I cried and feels like my heart is shattered last night, it’s maybe because I am really in pain having to see him like that. I am jealous, I am possessive at him. To the stewardess, to everyone whose looking at him. Even with Hannah.

I can't help but think that maybe that's why I tried to separate them before, because I was jealous. Because I only want Blaze. And I want him to look at me and smile at me like he’s used to before Hannah. I am such a b***h.

My thoughts were broken in my own world when I heard people applauding and they all stood while watching that Carina and Diesel had their first kiss as husband and wife. I tried to catch up and looked at Blaze who was still looking at me.

I smiled at him, trying to acknowledge him that I am okay.

Then reception came in that same hotel we’re staying in. everyone is having a good time. I didn’t even notice my parents anymore, because I am still on my own trance.

Blaze was sitting beside me, he nudges me and I looked at him, he moves the plate of food near me “You didn’t eat.”

I didn’t eat? For how long we’re here already? I didn’t even know I get a food for myself. “Oh.”

“What’s happening?”

I looked at him “I—I just—”

He placed his huge hands on my bare legs, squeezing it tightly “Tell me.” He pressed. “Did they bother you?”

I shakes my head “No—” I took a deep breath and massage my temple.

“Then what?”

"Good evening, Ladies and Gentlemen." Havoc began to speak in front of all the guests holding the champagne glass. "--I want to thank everyone who took the time to join us in the good start of our family with Senator Lewis--" He raised his glass in the direction of Marcus, and he also raised his glass for acknowledgment. "--I have no other request from you Marco, my nephew, but to take care of the family that you and Carina will build." Diesel nods his head, he seems to be happy, and Carina seems to be glowing and that made me smile. They are happy to start together. "But tonight's celebration doesn't end here." Blaze's hand that was on my legs tightened even more and I felt he stilled as he looked at his Father and his Father was also looking at him, smiling proudly. "This is not yet the formal celebration for this but I just want to inform you that my only son and sole heir of the empire built by my ancestors, Axel Matthew Mayhem or better-known as Blaze is also set to marry the eldest daughter, as well of our beloved Senator Marcus Lewis, Corinne Angeline Lewis."

I froze.

The same way Blaze froze.

Both of us didn’t get up as everyone is clapping, they’re hands at us.

I didn’t know about this announcement, nor the engagement will be pushed through.

It’s not that I don’t want to, I do especially now that I know I love him, but Blaze didn’t want this. And this will make him mad at me even more.

His suspicion that I was behind Hannah's disappearance will prevail even more.

“Son, Corinne?” Havoc urges us to walk in front of everyone.

Blaze calmly took my hand and guide me in front, beside his Father.

He smiled like he means this, he smiled like he doesn’t want to kill me right now.

This is not getting better.