Thorns of Roses

Into the Unknown

Song for this Chapter:

The Day You Said Good night-Hale

CHAPTER 33

CORINNE

When I got home from school, I went straight to the studio, and I was happy with my sculpture because somehow it was coming to life.

Once again, I let my time here in my studio consumes me and I have to checked my watch to see that it was past seven in the evening, it was almost time for me and Blaze to meet at the town Plaza.

I am preparing myself and change my clothes, my uniform from earlier because I didn’t have much time to go home to change.

I was about to leave the studio when I heard my phone rang, at first, I thought it was Blaze, too eager because I am late once again. But when I fished out my phone out of my pocket, it’s a call from someone I didn’t heard off from the past days.

It’s Diesel.

I answered him “Hey, Die—”

“C—” I heard him sobbing from the other line. “C, are you there?”

I stopped, the rain is pouring hard. I am too engulfed in Blaze and the way he’s making me feel and I forgot the way I feel about Diesel, and that’s so scary.

“Yes, Die. I am here.” I am right in front of my studio while talking to him.

“I don’t know what I am going to do without you, C—” He sobs. “It hurts so f*****g much, C.”

He’s drunk, I can tell that he’s drunk. And Diesel being drunk is messy. He can be into fight or whatever, but he’s not good to be drunk especially in crowded places, and I bet he is because I heard how noisy the place he is in right now.

I looked at my watch, I am already late for Blaze. But Diesel needed me, my best friend needs me.

“Where are you, Die?”

“You know where, C.”

Yeah, I know where. That’s the place he was banned off recently because he caused trouble and messed last time because some random pervert tried to make a move on me.

“Stay there.” I hung up the phone, and tried to call Blaze, but he’s not available Then I tried calling Hannah, she answered on the second ring. “Hey, Hannah?”

“Yes, Corinne, why?”

“Can you please meet blaze at the Plaza tonight, I can’t get a hold of him. I tried calling him, and the rain is so hard, he might be waiting for me there.”

“Why? Is there something wrong?”

“Diesel is drunk at the pub, and he needs me there. but please, don’t tell this to Blaze, just tell him that I need to go somewhere important.”

I can hear the desperation in my own voice.

“Sure, Corinne. I got you.”

“Thank you.” I hung up and starts running towards the waiting shed, if I get luck there might be a taxi already waiting for a passenger in there.

When I get in to the pub, I am soaking wet because of the rain, because unfortunately there’s no taxi in there and I end up running just to get here.

I didn’t miss all the snarky and pervert remarks of every man I passed walking towards Diesel’s direction.

I am much very aware that my red lingerie is can be seen on my wet white school uniform, but I don’t care. I need to get Diesel out of this place.

The bartender points him to me, and he has a bloody fist and he’s so drunk he passed out.

“He punched the bathroom mirror inside that’s what caused his bleeding hands, and I placed him there.” The bartender said.

“Thank you so much.”

I crouch in front of Diesel’s “Hey, die—Die, wake up.”

He slowly opens his eyes for me and he smiled “Hey, C—” He put his bloodied hands on my cheeks tenderly “I love you, you know that, don’t you?”

“Where’s your car key, die?” I searched his pockets to find his car keys for me to drive him home, but how? Blaze might see me and find out that I didn't go to him because I went to see Diesel. Maybe I will just call Carina so she can take Diesel home.

After I got his key, I supported him upright until we left the bar, I ring his car and find it sitting on the far end corner of the parking lot, I support Diesel again to his car, I lean him on the hood of the car and open the passenger door when Diesel sobs once again “I don’t know what I am going to do, C. I f*****g love you so much, it f*****g hurts.” I didn’t even get him inside the passenger seat because he hugs e tight whilst crying.

I know, Die. I am in so much pain too.

The rain is still pouring hard but I couldn’t care anymore as I held Diesel’s on my arms.

“I love you, Corinne. Please don’t leave me.” He put his hands on my cheeks as he leans me on the hood of his car and kissed me. Hungry and eager.

And I know this is wrong, this is beyond wrong, because I kissed him the same as he kissed me.

I let my love for him consumes my moral and guilt and I didn’t even think of my sister while I live in the moment.

“f**k this.”

A familiar voice makes me stop and brought me back to the reality, when I turn to look at where the voice came from.

It was Blaze’s.

He’s soaking wet from the rain even though Hannah is trying to cover him in her umbrella.

He’s looking straight at us.

Then I saw it.

A flash of pain and betrayal. I see it in his eyes.

And right there, I was back to the reality that Diesel and I were wrong, that even though we loved each other, we are wrong.

“Blaze—”

Before I can even take a step towards him, he’s already lunging for Diesel.

Both of them is pouncing on each other once again, I was already accustomed to this scene for I am witnessing this for some time now, but I can see he will kill Diesel.

I tried to stop Blaze as he was on the upper hand but he pushed me away from him that made me fall hard on the floor that caused my hands to bleed and my knee to scrape on the floor.

“Corinne!” Hannah’s wails stop the both of them to kill each other.

Diesel was passed out on the floor, Blaze looks at me, the blood and my knee then back to my eyes.

I cried in front of him, but he didn’t make any move towards me “I can’t—I can’t love you, Blaze.” The blood on me just made me reminded of how he kills Gian. He can easily kill me if he wants. And made me vanished without a single trace. I can’t be with someone who is like my father.

He just nods and I see a tear, maybe. Did he cry? Or it was just some sort of my imagination?

Blaze left Diesel, and me. Hannah was in between on to who she’s going to help. “Go with him. Make sure he’s okay.” I told her and she just nods and run towards a fuming Blaze.

I crouch near Diesel as he coughed up blood, I sobs “What are we going to do, die?” I wipe my tears profusely “Tell me what are we going to do?”

“Just—” he’s a having a hard time speaking “—love me.”

I nod, because the truth is, I don’t know what else to do in this life but to love him. “I will, die. I will.”

I don’t know where the word I will love him will take us. I don't know what we will do. But I am sure we will talk about that and we will figure it out what to do next. Just now I wanted something for myself, and I think Diesel is worth the fight, he's worth fighting for.

I'm tired of pretending to be someone I'm not, I'm tired of liking something I don't really like. I wanted to do what I want and what I need. I want to do me for the time I had left in this world.

That morning, I received a text from Diesel that he loves me and he can’t wait to see me at school today. That small gesture of him makes me smile, and I think it already made my day.

I was going to prepare for the day, when I heard someone knock on my door, I thought it was Nora but when I opened it, it was my Sister Carina.

She invited herself in and slapped me real hard. She knows. She already knows.

She’s crying, her eyes were red. I should be feeling guilty, but surprisingly I am not, it’s like I am numb.

"What do you plan to do? Be Diesel's mistress for life like your mother?"

I didn’t answer her, she’s right though.

“We were going to get married, Corinne. The man that you’re shoving your tongue with last night is my f*****g fiancé, Corinne!”

“I thought you didn’t love him?” I looked at Diesel’s text on my phone and Carina saw it too. “It’s not too late, Carina. You can still say no for marrying him. I can help you.” I sound so desperate while holding my sister’s arms.

“What are you, desperate?” She scoffed but her tears are continuing to fall on her beautiful face.

“Carina, we love each other. Please just let him go, please, please—”

Another slap that made me snap back into reality.

“I love him, Corinne. I was the first one who saw him. Even before you didn’t even here, but his eyes were all for you.” She cried.

I stopped “I thought—”

“I told you I don’t love him because I am saving my pride. How come you believe that I am scared of Blaze? I even beg you.” She sobs “I beg you to just f*****g give him to me because all I can do is love him, and wait for him to love me back!”

“I wanted someone to call my own, Carina. And he is that.” I sound so weak.

“He can’t never be yours, Corinne. He was meant to be mine. And I won’t say no to this marriage, I will force him to marry me if needed.” She scoffed and wiped away her tears “He can never be yours.”

I sat down on my bed weakly “Carina, please—”

“If you want to join us both in this marriage, be ready to be a mistress a forever, Corinne. Be my guest. But one thing I can assure you, I won’t let the two of you be happy while I am miserable. If there’s someone who’s going to be miserable with the three of us; It’s f*****g you.”

She didn’t look back as she closed my bedroom door.

What am I going to do?

Am I going to be Diesel’s mistress against my own sister who didn’t even see me as her sister?

Am I going to do this beyond my morality?

What will happen if I didn’t marry Blaze?

Once again, I am waking onto the unknown.