Claiming Love

2

I was truly lost in this complex narrative on life. I asked my father what greatness was if it was not the pursuit of wealth and power at the expense of the poor masses, who by the way, were left to worship the rich; something moments ago he had castigated.

‘The greatness I am talking about revolves around pursuing and achieving the dictates of a higher calling using whatever resources in ones possession. The egocentrics prefer to view greatness through the narrow prism of materialism, the morally autonomous will always take pride in the knowledge that whatever they possess goes to make the life of the next person better; they don’t iconize or idolize wealth.’

It was too much for me. I was only left to tell my father that I understood all that he said. This didn’t stop him. ‘I don’t know what you would want to pursue as your life’s career but whatever profession you undertake do all that is your power to bring a smile to everyone and everybody you interact with. Let them feel a sense of belonging.’ I was left with no option but to keep on nodding to everything he said.”

“Then came the parting shot that left me in near total devastation but for his presence that gave me some semblance of willpower to go through it all. ‘I have a very short time to live, the doctor says about four to six months,’ he paused to see my reaction. He didn’t like what he saw but continued nevertheless. ‘Your mother and I agreed that you have to know this and that it was I to break it to you. It is difficult but it is better to be prepared for inevitable early enough to lessen the destructive impact that comes with the sudden demise of a loved one.’

“I felt that something was not adding up. My father hadn’t shown signs of ill-health, in any case he of late had seemed jovial and always talking about increase his flock of goats to take advantage of the increasing demand for the animals’ products. I told him as much.” ‘You are still young to understand some of dynamics in life. I your father have never wanted to ruin my family by creating unnecessary anxiety and sense of foreboding until I thought it was the right time to do so,’ again that pause and a stare at me. ‘Your mother knew this about a month ago. I have told her everything. Once I am gone she will tell you the whole story. For now I want you to remain strong and focused on the life before you.’ With that he stood up and signaled it was time to depart for home.”

“After this startling revelation, life never remained the same in our home. There was some kind of an uneasy calmness, with each passing day raising the expectation of his permanent departure. Neither mother nor I had the courage to look into each other’s eyes for fear of breaking down and in the process eliciting a chain reaction of emotional stress. However, when the day came and father passed away in his sleep, both of us, in the embrace of the irreplaceable loss felt a very heavy load had been lifted off our shoulders. This was four months after his revelation to me about his death.

“I was not surprised when my late father’s brothers demanded that he be interred as quickly as possible; the reason being some f them had requested for a few days off-duty to attend to my father’s funeral and were expected back soon. Although I didn’t buy this excuse, there was very little I could do and I told my mother s much. On the eve of his burial I went to her room where since father died she had had an imposed seclusion. I wanted to know what ailed my late father and why my uncles – his brothers seemed eternally hostile to our family.

“Her answer was short but precise. She looked at me and said,” ‘your father was poisoned at one of your uncle’s homes where he had been offered a meal. It was a slow acting kind of poison that was initially not easy to diagnose until the effects had spread to the vital body organs making it difficult to treat. They meant your father to suffer; they reveled in it, all because of greed. Make no mistake sooner than later after the burial they will be back to claim all that your father had struggled to build for us.’ “But why mother. What sin did we commit to warrant such cruelty?

“Again there was the crispness in her reply. ‘The sin of not following their evil ways, the ‘sin’ of not siring a son, the sin of being successful while others remained stagnant in their endeavors. To them everything good is evil and vice versa.’ “It was enough for me. I didn’t want to hear anything more. My father was buried in a ceremony that was attended by a handful of friends and relatives. Nobody, not even my uncles, seemed keen to make any speech during the occasion. It was only my mother who at the end of it all stood to give the vote of thanks. In a few days my mother and I had to come to terms with living without my father. Not long afterwards what the father had intimated to me about the family started to manifest itself.”  Gina saw the hurt in Felicia’s eyes, the tears beginning to flow freely down her cheeks. She felt terrible sitting there and not being able to do anything.

Felicia took a handkerchief and wiped her face and resumed her story. “It begun seven days after my father’s burial. The old men of the village, essentially my uncles begun pedaling the rumor that my mother had poisoned her husband consequently causing his death. At first we treated it as just that; rumors. But as the days advanced and the drumbeats against my mother became louder, she decided to seek redress. That was a huge mistake. According to tradition the first call for justice was an amorphous entity called the Village Council of Elders which was drawn from the seven sub clans that made up the village of Bakiku. Unknown to us the seven old men had already been bribed to rule in favor of our antagonists. To cut a long story short my mother was found ‘guilty’ of the offense of murder and given the ultimate penalty for such a crime, being ostracized from all village activities and interactions.”  discerned a change in Felicia’s voice; it was a voice of bitterness, a voice crying out for revenge, a voice of regret that at that time she was too helpless to do or say anything to vindicate her mother from such false accusations.

“The burden was too heavy for my mother to bear,” she continued. “For days she kept to herself. She was not eating or drinking. She couldn’t sleep at night, she just stared at the ceiling most probably trying to figure out her next course of action; I could clearly see the options were limited,” she took a deep breath and continued. “I was getting worried, so on the fifth day I went to her room and tried to console her. She just looked at me and said nothing. That is when I decided to go to our local church to seek help. The congregational pastor was very understanding and agreed to come back with me to our house and offer prayers for her despite the Elders’ orders. His argument was that his interactions were not limited to a particular section of the community but to all; in any case Jesus came for the downtrodden. Two days later, on what seemed a night of peace, for my mother had shown signs of going back to her normal disposition, she called me to her bedside. I was elated to see the shine in her eyes; however, looking carefully and straight in those eyes I felt as if a heavy load had been shoved down the ventricles of my heart. These were eyes of a wild animal that was reveling in the idea of devouring its prey. They portrayed  the expression of demand justice for wrongs done against its owner. I knew my mother was about to demand and expect of me to carry out a very crucial assignment, avenge the injustices committed against us.” She sipped from the glass. All along had wondered where all this was leading to, but Felicia’s last words started to draw parallels with her own condition. The adrenalin started to rise. She didn’t interrupt. 

‘I have called you because there is not a lot of time left,’ my mother begun cryptically and without giving me time to question the meaning of that statement she continued, ‘your father and I will soon or later be rejoined in heavenly bliss. I want you to know that in our lifetimes we loved you dearly although we were unable to give you the good things of life. Being the only daughter you made us proud.’

“But why are you telling me all this? Why are you talking in the past tense? Yes father is gone but you are still here Mum!

‘Yes I may be here but not here. The breath in us is for a certain period on earth that we call a lifetime. Soon we go to join the ones who went before us. But I digress. When I am gone remember this, the world is evil. Trust no one but love them all. In God put your trust and on those who wronged us He will bring His wrath; that is the best revenge. Don’t shed blood by your own hands.’ I realized that all along I had read my mother’s thoughts wrong, but what else did I expect from this deeply religious woman?

‘Don’t while away your days in regrets and reminiscing on the past. Bitterness breeds hate which in turn will consume and smother you into smithereens. Work hard and earn your keep and develop your status. Give back to society and make it better.’ These were almost the very same words my father spoke to me before he breathed his last on earth. Was mother about to leave me?

“That question didn’t have to wait long, for a few hours after this blood chilling monologue she passed on,” Felicia said in an unexpectedly composed way.

“Then what happened?” Gina asked after a seemingly an infinite spell of silence.

“Remember we were an ostracized family and therefore nobody in the village-born would partake in the funeral rites,” Felicia seemed to be ruing whatever she was saying. There was pain in her voice and eyes. She quickly composed herself and continued. “The local church had in its congregation members from other villages who agreed with the request from the Pastor in charge to give my mother a decent Christian burial the next day. It is a day I will never forget; not for what happened but for what didn’t. There were no the usual speech from elders praising the departed soul, no praise music, no uncle, aunt or cousin offering any piece of advice or promise of support to me. The entire village kept away.

I was beyond caring. My mind was already made. I had to move away from this evil community. That very night I left the place I had all along called home and here I am today.”

“This is one of the most fascinating stories I have heard in my youthful life,”  Gina said for lack of better words.

Felicia looked into her guest’s eyes and, “now to you my unexpected visitor. I have not been in many places but I have seen many faces, and the face before me though young-looking tells a story of an intelligent young lady who is ambitious but with a troubled soul. What is your story?

“Thanks for the accolade. You seem to be not only a face-reader but also a mind reader,”  said amazed at the accuracy of her host’s assessment. “There are similarities in both our life stories; however, while you are running away from an evil village, I am running from an abusive mother.”

“How is that? Felicia asked rhetorically.

“This is the story of my life”. Gina started in a slow and deliberate tone of voice.

***

Stanley arrived early from work. This was a special day for him and the entire family. He was now the proud father of a university student; it was a feat he didn’t take lightly especially the fact that many a girl child had dropped off school at an early age. He wanted to celebrate the  success in a special way. He had invited two of his colleagues at work, Jeff and Dina to share in his joy. Little did he anticipate and prepare for the shock that awaited him at the house.  Gina was nowhere to be seen and none of the family members had any inkling of her whereabouts. According to Jennifer the last time she had seen was around ten in the morning when their friend Mama Tessa had had arrived for the visit.

Stanley had difficulty controlling the temper welling inside of him. After a few niceties with their guests, he summoned his wife into the master bedroom. Jennifer had never seen her husband in such a foul mood before. One look at him made her cringe with fear and retreated to the furthest side of their matrimonial bed. “You have to tell me where she is,” he started with thinly hidden scowl as of an angry leopard.

“Darling I have already told you that I don’t know. I only last saw her at ten in the morning since then I have not set my eyes on her,” she responded with marshaled courage.

“I know what you told me. Now forget about that and tell me the truth. Where is ?

“I don’t know!” was the emphatic response.

Stanley realized that he will get nowhere with this line of inquiry and changed the approach.

“Jennifer I know you have never been comfortable with the young girl for the mere fact that she is not your biological daughter,” he said this with a cool voice while sitting next to her on the bed. “But you know the circumstances that led to her becoming part of our family and household.”

Yes she indeed did. It was one evening nineteen years ago when Stanley arrived home and announced that he had found a temporary solution to their childlessness after two years of marriage. Jennifer was excited to hear that. At last she would be a proud mother. But what Stanley said next dampened her joy. “A friend of mine working at the Matters Maternity Hospital told me that one of their patients was diagnosed with a degenerative brain disease that required a lengthy hospitalization with very remote chances of recovery. This woman just gave birth to a bouncing baby girl.” He paused to see her reaction. Her face looked blank; he couldn’t tell whether she was happy at this news or not. “Anyway, on inquiry the hospital management found out that the woman did not have any known relative, next of kin or an established place of residence. The law requires that such people be designated as street people and children born of them can be surrendered to the government for placement in some of its orphanages.”

“I don’t understand how that concerns our situation,” Jennifer finally blurted out although she knew what was coming next.

“It concerns us big. You see, when I discussed with my friend about my situation he suggested that we adopt the child. But not in the normal way.” He smiled at the very thought of having a young one under his roof. Stanley had always had a soft spot for kids. He simply loved them.

“What other way can it be done without inviting official sanctions? She asked.

“Management has agreed to look after the kid for six months then grant us custody rights of the child with complete documentation on parentage,” he said this with a little bit of flair.

“I don’t want to be entangled in custody rights with the mother if and when she recovers,” Jennifer seemed to have mellowed down when delivering this.

“So my beautiful wife, prepare to welcome a new member of our family in six months time,” he said hugging her and with a quick peck on the cheek exited the room.

The six months waiting period was to Jennifer a time of deep reflection. Did this imply that she would never bear children of her own? Well, after the adoption, was there a guarantee that the child’s mother will never recover to claim her child back? Was Stanley thinking of marrying another wife who would give him children of his own? This last thought tormented her the most. She had always told herself that she will never share him with any other woman whatever her condition; NEVER!

Stanley was quick to notice the sudden change in his wife’s attitude and moved fast to reassure her of her position in his life. “Darling there is nothing to fear. In fact we should be happy that eventually our house will hear the cry of a baby. Babies are angels they are the beauty of God’s creation,” he told her one day when on a night-out dinner. “I love you Jennifer and nothing or no one will ever come between us to spoil that love. I will insist that you keep on attending clinics and have more tests carried out; who knows the God we have always believed in will one day have mercy and grant us our own biological child.” He said this with a lot of passionate conviction.

This was reassurance enough for her and for the remainder of the period that they were waiting for the toddler she delved in the task of ensuring that the necessary baby provisions. Her work was made easier when she engaged Mama Tessa their neighbor, who herself had three children, to help out.

The baby arrived in Stanley’s home to a rapturous welcome from the family and a few invited guests. Interestingly Jennifer felt like this is what she had lacked all along to make her feel appreciated. Wishes for a healthy life for the baby flew her way from the ecstatic crowd. She was showered with praise and entreaties to ensure that she takes good care of the beautiful creature. As the dare wore on Stanley felt that his life was being rebuilt afresh; it was a good feeling. By sunset all visitors had left and the new parents were left alone to start planning for a new life.

Jennifer had to stop her teaching job at the local early childhood centre to start her new role as a mother. She had sworn to herself to jealously take care of her baby and ensure she lacked in nothing. The smile on the baby’s face and laughter always raised her to paradise. This was the life she all along wished for. She quietly thanked her husband for it and regretted her earlier reservations and hostility at the proposal of adopting a child whose mother was still alive. Stanley on his part thanked his friend who had come up with this idea of adopting the child; however, he felt that the family’s current proximity to the child’s mother who was still incapacitated in a hospital bed would create an unnecessary diversion from taking good care of the child. So in the next three months he sought and got transferred to the small town of Suneka where his company ran a small department.

Days turned into months and before they both realized it, had turned three; time for her to be enrolled in baby class. As it had become the norm Stanley and Jennifer wanted to give their adopted child the best, so it didn’t take much thought and talk to pick one of the best early childhood schools in town, the Daniel-Everland School which was simply and fondly referred to as the Danever. One thing that made the Danever stand out above the rest was its penchant for engaging professional childcare personnel to take care of the children. They ranged from early childhood educators, psychologists and medical staff.

Life was on the roll for the Stanley’s. He had a well paying job as a finance manager and in the interim with Gina away at school most of the day; Jennifer had secured a part-time teaching job at a local primary school. With the help of his company Stanley had been able to purchase a saloon car for easy of movement between their stations. Then it happened. During one of the visits to the clinic the clinical officer in charge surprised Jennifer when she told her to ask her husband to accompany her to the hospital the following day as a matter of urgency. She called him at work to inform him of this new development and have him ask for permission from work.

“Mr. Stanley, I know what I am going to tell you might come as a shock to you, but believe you me it is a fact of life,” the clinician began with a smile on her face.