Teach Me How to Love

Chapter 2: White Room

Beep... Beep... Beep...

I snapped up to a sitting position, my heart thundering in my chest. My teary eyes looked around at the small room, my fingers tugging at the cords attached to my skin. There was so much white. I stared at the hospital monitor beside me, realizing that the beeping had picked up speed when I had awakened. Why did I awake so suddenly? Wasn't it supposed to be slow, with eyes creaking open while their loved ones grabbed their hands? My question was answered immediately: nightmares.

The flashback of the accident had awoken me. That horrific accident. Accident. Accident. The word echoed in my skull over and over again as the images began flickering through my mind. My eyes widened as my nails dug into my thighs, the beeping on the monitor tripling in speed. Before I could even let out a scream the door flung open and a nurse rushed to my side. She placed a hand on my shoulder and hushed me, as if she thought she could radiate her calmness into me.

Her fingers tapped the monitor, the beeping ceasing. I realized she was actually shaking.

"Calm down. It'll be alright, Jade.” She looked away from me and to the door.

Tears welled in my eyes. I found her silence infuriating. "What happened?" I whispered.

She sighed, "The easiest way is to start with what you remember, to make sure your memory hasn’t suffered. I will fill you in as much as I can, Jade."

My mind flipped back to the last thing I remembered. I swallowed down my fear, wanting the pain and the horror to leave my mind just as quickly as that car had hit us.

"I remember everything.” I said it so quietly I wondered if the nurse even heard me.

The nurse nodded and pulled a chair to the side of my bed. "Tell me what you remember, just go through the steps."

I took a long, deep breath before I spoke. "Singing," I said, blinking back the tears that were just dying to break free, "And then headlights." My heart was racing. "Then all I could hear was the metal crashing.”

I gritted my teeth as the ear piercing sound repeated itself in my skull, "My head slammed against the seat and--”I stopped. My eyes widened and I sat up with all my strength, my body screaming in protest. “Where’s Danny?”

The nurse’s shoulders stiffened and she placed a hand on my shoulder, gently pushing me back against the bed. "You need to lie down, Jade. I assure you that everything will be better if you just relax."

"Where's Danny!" I yelled it this time, my tears finally flooding.

“Jade, please, it’s important for you to remain calm.”

The tears streamed down my cheeks like a dam had exploded. I struggled to get out from underneath the blanket, my feet tangling in the cords as I crashed down onto the floor. The nurse tried to hold my shoulders, holding me to the bed as she repeated my name over and over.

"What happened!" I cried, "I need to see him!"

"Jade, have a seat.” The nurse was surprisingly calm, but her eyes were watering as well. My energy ceased, and my body became almost lifeless as she lowered me slowly back onto the bed. I brought my knees up to my chest and buried my head in my hands. My body began trembling as tears spilled onto my knee caps.

"Where is he?" I whispered.

The woman cleared her throat, her eyes moving to the white walls as she wiped at her cheeks. "I wasn't supposed to be the one to tell you this. And sweetheart, there is no easy way to do so," she chewed her lip. My heart dropped at her words, but I remained silent as the nurse continued. She took a deep breath, "Jade, the boy in the car with you didn't make it."

I stopped, my breath catching as my throat constricted. I fought for a breath, feeling like someone had just sucked up every ounce of oxygen from my lungs. I pulled at the roots of my hair.

"He what?"

The nurse swallowed, her eyes dropping down to the floor, "I am so incredibly sorry for your loss," the words sliced through the air before they hung there, just begging to eat at my heart and imprint themselves in my memory.

I bit my lip, the tears flooding down my face again. "You're lying," I whispered.

The nurse sighed, "No, Jade. I wish I was," she said softly.

I shook my head, "You have to be lying!" I screamed, "What kind of twisted joke is this! Where are the cameras?" I shrieked, my eyes searching the room for the cruel mastermind behind the prank, "I get it! It’s over!” I cried, my hands finding my face once again as my adrenaline came to a stop. I sobbed into my hands as the door burst open once again.

I looked up, expecting to see a doctor only to find my family flooding into the room. My mother ran at me, her face tear-stained as she wrapped her arms around me in a tight hug. She lifted me to my feet, pulling back. My eyes rose to my father as he stood at my side with a hand on my shoulder. His lips were tight, as if holding back tears. I then looked down at my little brother, who was only 14 years old. His face was red and puffy, like he had been crying but had forced himself to stop. I was unsure if it was fear of losing me, or that he had heard about the death of Danny that had caused his tears. Danny was like a brother to him, as he was a son to my parents. And now he was gone.

"Josh," I cried, reaching out to my brother. Normally, the stubborn 14 year old would have just rolled his eyes and scoffed at my attempt at being a loving sister, but not this time. This time he ran at me, wrapping his arms around my neck as soon as he could reach it. I hugged him back as he buried his head into my shoulder. I rubbed his back, trying to comfort the both of us. But it was hard to soothe someone when your heart was shattered even more. But I gave it my best shot, because I knew what losing someone you loved was like.

And I had to be strong for the both of us.

I hugged my family, tears flooding my cheeks as the nurse's words ran over and over again and again inside of my head.

The boy in the car with you didn't make it.

The words were like daggers. Danny, the only guy to steal my heart, had left me in this car crash. My heart stopped, and I made a promise to myself that day:

I would never love again.