Girls Can't Play

Chapter #1 - Moving

Jamie

"I'm so sorry for doing this to you sweetheart."

I looked up from the table and met my mother's sad eyes.

Of course she was sorry. She always was.

“It’s okay mum," I said quietly. "You don’t have to apologize."

It was easier that way. Easier than fighting a decision that had already been made.

I knew what this dinner meant the moment she said we were going to eat at the Blue Electric, Saltfall's nicest restaurant.

It always started the same. Too much silence, too much wine, and that look in her eyes like she was halfway gone.

The first time I remember it happening, I was ten. She had just broken up with the ‘love of her life’.

They were always the love of her life. Until they weren't.

We had sat in a place just like this, her eyes shining with tears she kept pretending weren't there. And after dessert, she told me we were leaving town the next morning.

I still remember crying more about Matthew, who had felt more like a father than anyone ever had than the move itself.

“Is Charlie coming too?” I asked even though I already knew the answer.

Her expression softened as she reached for my hands under the table.

“Oh sweetheart…"

I forced myself to relax before she could fully hold them. I didn’t want to be the reason Kerry Parker stayed in a place she did not want to. I had tried that once before.

It hadn't lasted.

“Charlie and I... we fell out," she said gently. "I guess it was never meant to be.”

It never was. Not really. Not for her.

My mother didn't stay when things got hard. She never had.

Especially not when it wasn't my father.

He was the exception. The story she never stopped telling. The only person who had ever, in her eyes, done no wrong.

I followed the pattern quietly now. Watch, wait, pack, leave.

At least this time, there were no tears. No awkward stares from nearby tables that made me want to disappear into my seat.

"Do I still get to play?” I asked.

That, at least, always changed her expression.

Her face lit up instantly as she reached into her purse and pulled out a folded sheet of paper.

"They have a strong scholarship program," she said, sliding it across to me. "Tryouts are the day after tomorrow.”

In other words, get packing.

I took it carefully, scanning the name of the local high school.

A new town. A new school. Another beginning I didn't ask for.

But I had stopped asking for a lot of things.

“Thanks Mum.”

I folded the paper and tucked it into my bag. Because as long as I could play football, I could survive his.

“I really am sorry baby," my mother said again softly. "This is going to be the last time, I promise."

I almost laughed.

The last time?

She'd said that at least six moves ago.

“Can we eat now?” I asked, forcing a smile onto my face.

“Are you sure?”

“Positive."

What else was I supposed to say? That I'd miss my teammates? Even Charlie just because he had turned out to be a decent human being that loved my mother unlike the last couple of douche bags she'd dated?

None of it changed anything.

So I ate.

Dinner passed with my mother excitedly talking about our new home while pretending her heart wasn't broken all over again. I barely listened. Kerry Parker tended to turn into a corny salesman when she was out to convince me of the beauty of wherever we were headed.

Still, one thing caught my attention.

Midburn.

Our new home.

The town was several hours north of Saltfall, small enough that it barely looked real on the map. From what I could tell online, everybody knew everybody there.

Normally, that thought would have bothered me.

But I'd learned how to become invisible when I needed to.

Halfway through scrolling, my eyes widened.

"Mum!" I blurted out, sitting straighter. "This is a football town."

The corners of my mother's lips curved as she kept her eyes on the road.

"I thought you'd like that."

Like it?

That felt like an understatement.

I scrolled faster, my excitement growing with every article I opened. Midburn practically breathed football.

The Cougar Devils, the local high school football team, had trophies, championships, and enough headlines to make my chest tighten with anticipation.

Scouts definitely paid attention to towns like these.

Maybe this move wouldn't completely suck at all.

I frowned when I couldn't find a girl's team anywhere.

Probably just not as successful, I told myself.

It didn't matter. Exposure was exposure.

And maybe—finally—I'd get noticed too.

"I can't wait, mum"

"Glad to hear that, sweetheart.," she said with a relieved smile. "Makes two of us."

I knew that look. She thought I was finally okay with moving again.

The truth was, football just made it easier to pretend I was.

“Aren't there people you want to say bye to?” she asked as we drove back to the apartment.

“Just the team. I'll call them later."

“You could go over in the morning and say a proper goodbye, you know? There's no rush.”

I hated goodbyes.

They always felt pointless when everyone eventually forgot you anyway.

"Don’t need to.”

I shoved my phone into my pocket and climbed out of the car the second we pulled up outside the apartment building that had been home for all of three months.

"Are you sure, honey?"

"I'm pretty sure no one's going to miss me."

I turned away before she could see the lie on my face.

My room was the only place that ever really felt like mine. No matter where we moved, I always rebuilt it the exact same way.

Football posters.

Replica jerseys.

Trophies.

Memorabilia.

Inside these walls, I could pretend life stayed still long enough for me to catch up with it.

My gaze lifted automatically to the oversized poster hanging above my bed.

Emerson Walker.

The greatest goal keeper in the world.

My idol.

"Hey, you," I murmured with a smile.

My fingers brushed over the poster carefully.

"One day that's going to be me."

It had become a ritual over the years.

First thing on the wall whenever we moved in. First thing down whenever we left.

I carefully peeled the edges free and reached for a box.

"Hey."

I jumped, spinning around.

"Mum?"

"Sorry," she said quickly. "I didn't mean to scare you. I just... wanted you to have this."

My eyes widened when she handed me the box.

The football boots I'd been obsessing over for months stared back at me

"Mum... can we even afford these?"

"It's the least I can do," she said softly. "I know how much you give up every time we move."

Something in my chest cracked.

"Mum…"

"We can afford them," she promised. "So don't worry. Just enjoy them, okay?"

I threw my arms around her before I could stop myself.

"Thanks you."

For a second, I let myself hold on tightly.

If only I knew how to help her heal too.

Maybe then we could stop running.

Maybe then we could finally stay somewhere long enough to call it home.

I glanced back at the Midburn football articles still glowing on my phone screen.

Maybe this time would be different.

Maybe this time, someone would finally see me.