Unfollowing My Ex

This Woman’s Work

Functioning in the days after Trish commanded that I get my forever-crying-over-Reed-and-things-gone-east-butt back to work required every morsel of strength that I possessed from the deepest core of my core. Breathing became a challenge; not crying, an even greater one. Whether it was dining with a client in a restaurant that Reed and I had patronized or watching a TV show that we both enjoyed, the tears for a crying jig were just behind the lids of my eyes waiting for the right moment to manifest. I was tired of crying. Yet, it seemed to be the only thing that my body wanted to do. Who knew that love could be like this?

In the midst of all this crying and processing, I was still having to deal with the connections that I had made on social media with Reed’s friends and family. Each day, I discovered another connection that I had made. Really? What was I thinking connecting to all those people? Love. That is what I was thinking. I had loved that man, and making connections to what and whom he loved was a natural extension for me.

JacksonReedArtisan

@dexterreedDMV About last night…thanks, Man, for a great night. Glad you’re back on the EC #CousinsTurnUpDMV

Now, I surely do not understand how I let

Jackson—the high-priced, custom furniture artisan who’s in line to take over the family business from Reed’s dad—slip past all my delete, unfriend, and unfollow activity. He was a piece of work. Handsome and fit like Reed, he was very cognizant of his easy-on-the-eyes s*x appeal. He had made a trip to Seattle to visit with his cousin for a few days, and I declare his eyes never rested. Wherever we went, his eyes followed women. It did not matter if they were the Birkenstock-wearing, plaid dressing women of the PacWest or the very sophisticated, pencil-skirt wearing, sharply-dressed cosmopolitan ones, Jackson enjoyed his surveying of them. Trouble on two legs if he was allowed to be so. The women checking him out proved that he only needed to issue an invitation, and they were his.

I quickly unfollowed him, as I did not need updates of their escapades.

Ping! These doggone Reeds must live on their phones.

Jackson: Aubrey, what up, Woman? Me: Hey, Jackson. How are you?

Jackson: All’s well. Why you unfollowing er’body? You unfollowed Dex on i********:, f*******:, and even LinkedIn…that’s cold.

Me: Jackson, Reed and I are no longer together. Jackson: What’s that got to do with the rest of us? And, whose fault is that?

Me: Excuse me?#$%

Jackson: Whose fault is that, Aubrey?

Me: Aren’t you overstepping your bounds?

Jackson: No, I’m not! Who has time for this long face Dex has been keeping. You can change that, so what’s your problem?

Me: Jackson, whatever issues your cousin is having are his own doing.

Jackson: Don’t do this to y’all, Aubrey. My cousin misses you. He’s different from me. I would’ve dragged your fine behind right to VA with me. Ain’t nobody got time for this foolishness! Put the man out of his misery…and the rest of us, too.

Me: One thing about y’all…y’all stick together. Bye,

Jackson.

Jackson: Don’t make me come to Seattle…get it together, and forgive the man. A man is entitled to make a really jacked-up mistake in a relationship. Within reason…

Me: Everybody pleading Reed’s case…

Jackson: Hey…he’s family, and that ain’t gonna change. We’ve got his back. Always.

Me: Well, ain’t that sweet…

Jackson: Whatever, Aubrey. Get out your feelings, and make this right.

Me: “Get out my feelings”…really?

Jackson: Yes. He hurt your feelings. You went to the extreme in response.

Me: Bye, Jackson. Bye.

I ended the text exchange before I told him something I could not take back and hurt his feelings.

Ping!

Jackson: Aubrey, love requires the truth. Always. TTYL

Forget him and the rest of the Reeds, too.

@@@@@

Trish was looking especially good these days…like a box of Popeye’s chicken hot out of the grease drizzled with honey and hot sauce. I guess that post-baby nocturnal activity was still working its magic almost a year later. I could not be upset or jealous, for I knew that she had found a true mate in Greg, and he had found one in her. He fully supported her professional goals, ensuring that she and I could make the best of the business.

The fall brought in plenty of opportunities for project bids. Next year’s budgets would be settled during the latter months of the year for a lot of companies, and those companies would be making decisions about whether or not to pursue construction of new buildings. We tossed our bids into the ring for a variety of projects because, well, that is what we did to keep the lights on.

While in the conference room with Trish and the other associates to review the work log, I thought about how much I had been working since Reed and I parted ways. So much, yet it was better than going home to my empty house and pondering the state of my life. It was better to fall into bed from exhaustion than allow that window of analysis to occur.

“Good afternoon, everyone. We’ve got plenty to review, so we’re going to jump right in,” Trish announced, without much ado. “Let’s start with

Chandler and work our way around the table, please.”

Each associate provided the current status of his/her projects. This helped us to understand if additional assistance was needed, and when we could roll a member onto another project.

“Tanesha, contact Jennifer to help you with the administration of the daycare center. She is working on a couple of other projects, but she should be able to assist you, as the coffee shop is almost finished,” I told one of our senior architects, who we had offered a position before she could graduate from Howard.

“I will do that, Aubrey. Thank you. That will help a lot.”

“No problem.” Trish and I encouraged frank communication in our firm. We rewarded our associates for their diligent work, and we expected to understand when help would ensure that projects were completed on time for clients. Needing help was no reflection on their skills, and if it turned out that skills were the case, then we worked with them. The approach meant that we had experienced only a single termination during our time as a firm.

“Now, we need to discuss some of the recent awards,” Trish told us. “We were awarded a couple of projects, and we need to decide how we’re going to make the most of everyone’s time since we’re all jammed with work.”

“Ain’t that right,” responded Setsuko, who was the exact opposite of her name’s meaning.