The weight of the crown

Chapter 6

Later in the day, I stayed in my room. when Marianne came she noticed that something was wrong with me, but she didn't delve into the matter and left me alone.

I was grateful for that, at the moment I wasn't willing to talk to anyone.

 It might seem like I am too dramatic. Like I'm a spoiled princess who gets anything she wants.

A girl who lives in a palace with servants and gets dressed in fancy dresses and dances in balls.

A princess that soon will meet the prince of her dreams.

But I never looked at things that way, and I'm really not spoiled, even if my parents say otherwise.

In the evening I heard a knock on the door. I did not bother to check who went into the room until I heard the person who came in standing relatively close to my bed.

 I turned over to the side, ready to look into Tomas's eyes or perhaps Marianne, but a sweet smile and brown eyes looked at me. 

"Aren't you going to say hello to your best friend?" She asked with a smile, and she didn't have to ask twice because I immediately jumped on her as she stumbled back from the embrace.

"I missed you, what are you doing here?" I mumbled.

"I missed you too, I couldn't wait until your brother's coronation, so I decided to surprise you, and I guess I did," she said, and then sat beside me on the bed.

I told her about everything that happened in my life lately, and especially about my conversation with Thomas.

I always felt as if I could tell her everything.

she knew what it was like to be a princess and she understood the difficulties I was going through.

We were different, but that didn't stop us from being friends. 

I remember when we visited Portugal a few years ago, she showed me her room, and immediately after all the formalities she started talking to me about dresses and boys.

I always envied her for being open to people so that she could talk to a stranger as if he were a good friend.

"I don't understand why you're sad, you're going to meet the prince of your dreams, I'm just waiting for a match so I can get married already," she said, and I chuckled quietly as the tears stopped falling down my cheeks.

 Erika had always liked to talk to me about boys and the match she would have, unlike me she was just waiting for this moment, she was hopeless romantic, and sometimes the way she talked about love made me smile.

"Two days ago I met the prince of Belgium, but he was so short and he hardly spoke to me during the meal, and the worst thing is that he stepped on me at least twenty times when we were dancing." She complained to me and I giggled.

"I wonder if your prince is taller than you," she said suddenly, making me look at her in confusion.

I didn't want to admit it, but during the day I tried to imagine what he would look like, how he would behave. 

I didn't want to think about it, but I couldn't run away from these thoughts.

 I thought about how, as a girl, I was always very tall compared to other girls, and Erika knew that it also made me feel a bit insecure. Maybe it was a silly thought, but I want to be with someone taller than me.

 I never wanted to be too tall and Tomas sometimes laughs at me for it, because he's taller than me, which makes me happy.

"I'm sure he is," I said sarcastically, and she laughed too.

"I'm not joking. You have to stop being insecure about your height, or your look or how you function as a princess, you are under a lot of pressure and it is natural that you feel stressed and scared sometimes"

"I wish I had a life like yours, you have big brothers who take care of the kingdom, while you have the freedom to do what you want," I said, and lay down on the bed feeling tired.

"It's not always like that, I have a lot of freedom, it's true, but there's always a responsibility, whether you want it or not," she said seriously. 

"I'm just angry that I can't leave the castle. I would like to see the residents' lives, their homes, how they live," I said when I imagined green fields with small houses on them.

I imagined alleys and buildings, people walking energetically, buying supplies for their family or going to work every morning.

"You'll do it someday," she said and smiled. I hoped she was right, I hoped that one day, even if he was far away, I would be free.

Erica stayed in the palace for a few days, during which we spent a lot of time together, even though I had to participate in discussions with my father or Thomas.

***

 The night Erika left I didn't feel tired and  I couldn't fall asleep, I usually had no problem falling asleep, but tonight I had difficulty doing what I always thought was simple.

I looked at the wall, waiting for the minutes to pass, but I realized that  I wouldn't be able to sleep soon. I decided to get out of bed when I was dressed in my nightgown. 

I quickly changed into a simple blue dress with long sleeves, since it was relatively cold in the palace, especially outside.

I walked quietly out of the room, ready to see one of the guards telling me to go back to my room, but I was surprised instead to see one of the guards sleeping on the floor with his mouth open. 

I knew that if I had told one of my parents that I had found him in such a situation they would have punished him severely, but he looked tired, and the fact that he was sleeping had made my escape from my room very simple. 

I was in the residential wing, where all my family members were sleeping, so I had to be extra careful. 

When I went out into the yard, a cold wind hit my face. I was surprised by the sudden cold air. I walked toward the courtyard, where the forest began. 

I knew I wanted to go outside, but I wasn't so impulsive to get into the woods at this hour, who knows what is out there at such a late hour.

I saw the outline of the trees. At first, the trees were clear and the farther they were, the less clear they became.

"Hey, what are you doing here?" I heard a low, loud voice say behind me, and without wanting to, my body jumped in response to that voice. 

I turned around slowly, hoping that this was one of the guards, and for a moment I wondered if this was the guard that was near my room, who might have understood that I had left the room.

 I blinked several times, seeing a dark figure appears a few feet away from me, close enough to understand that it was a man, but too far to see his face. 

I wondered how he noticed I was here, it was late, but then I saw the lantern he was holding in his hand, which unfortunately didn't light up his face, only the ground, And me.

"Who are you?" I asked, trying to sound as confident as I could.

"I asked first," He said, his voice a little husky, perhaps he had just gotten up from a nice sleep.

"I'm not going to answer you," I said, surprised by the confidence I suddenly had to answer back.

 I seemed to get annoyed with him because he had walked a few steps forward, which made me finally see his face.

His hair was black and almost merged with the color of the night sky, his eyes were light brown, and he looked at me intently, as if he were studying me carefully.

 His body seemed muscular under his clothes. His clothes were simple but not simple enough to be a servant or a kitchen worker, he had to be a noble or more than that. 

I had never been in such a situation of being with a stranger alone, and the fact that he was taller than me had somehow deterred me. This answer was too vague for me, I couldn't help but suspect.

"And why are you hanging around so late, you can't leave the palace," I said, and then I realized that he could say exactly the same thing about me. 

"It's none of your business to know what I'm doing outside," he still looked so serious, no smile or vice versa, a hint of anger or fatigue appeared on his face.

"As for the dangerous, I think it's much more dangerous for princesses like you to walk around here at this hour, you better go back to sleep," he said, making me look at him quietly. He doesn't have the right to talk to me like that, who does he think he is? 

"You won't tell me what to do," I said, and I could tell from my voice that I was annoyed. 

I was standing in front of him with arms crossed and an angry face, Something that always made Erika or Thomas laugh when I got mad, they said I looked like a little girl like that and that it was adorable. 

To my surprise, it didn't amuse him and he still didn't move. He was about to speak but a silhouette began to come toward us, and from a short distance, I realized that this was one of the guards who was walking with a lantern and he looked slowly sideways. 

I remembered that the guards were patrolling outside to make sure there were no trespassers or people leaving without permission. "Ugh," I murmured quietly, and ran immediately behind one of the trees, leaning against the tree. He did the same, but he seemed much calmer than I did about the situation.

"What are you so afraid of , princess?" He asked, and he seemed amused by my quick reaction.

"They must not know I was out," I muttered quietly, not even understanding why I shared this information, "and don't call me a princess," I said more harshly than I intended.

 He glanced for a moment toward the courtyard, and I saw the light of the lantern slowly reaching the area where we were. I took a deep breath and prayed that the guard wouldn't come any closer.

 I didn't want to be caught and that my parents will punish me, who knows what punishment they will give me and how long their speech will be about the fact that I am a princess, and that I am always a target in the eyes of our enemies. As the light faded away I exhaled with relief.

"They are gone," he said indifferently, making me look at him a bit annoyed.

"I know, but they're going to do another scan in the yard and only then the area will be clean," I said, and for a moment I wondered if it was wise to talk about the patrols that are made in the palace. 

"And how long have you been living in the palace?" He asked and I could understand from his voice that what I said intrigued him.

"Too long," I said quietly, looking at the ground. I didn't want to stay with that guy.

I didn't feel safe beside him, and I didn't know if he was really living here or just a boy who had decided to break into the palace.

 I decided that I didn't really care who he was.

I scanned the area again and went out of my hiding place behind the tree; I walk back to the room without looking back at the mysterious guy, hoping I won't see him again.