9: IF

Bonus Chapter: Malaika's Playlist

It was a calm and quiet day in the dorm room of Malaika Bara. The stitchpunks have decided to hang out in her room for the afternoon while she catches up on her studies. But even with nine dolls relaxing around on her queen-size bed and bonding with each other, Malaika couldn't help but think:

It's a bit too quiet for her tastes.

She finally breaks the silence, "Hey, you guys mind if I play some music?"

2 looks up from the new telescope he and 5 are working on, "Not at all, Mala!"

7 hand waves her response, "Nothing wrong with a little noise." The warrior goes back to sharpening her weapons alongside 8.

6 pauses his drawing on one of Malaika's sketchbooks, "Are you going to play music from your phone?"

"Oh no, that's not loud enough. I usually just activate my voice-controlled music player."

The striped doll tilts his head in confusion. "...The what?"

The college student points to a black cylinder device on a small desk next to her bed.

"It allows me to record songs and play them whenever I want."

"Oh! Impressive!" 9 speaks up, clearly intrigued. He was in the middle of reading one of Malaika's textbooks with the twins and 1 accompanying him, but this will be his first time witnessing the function of the device, and he didn't want to miss it.

The girl starts to get out of her bed. "Of course it's been a while since I've used it, so I'll have to turn the power on by hand."

But before she could, Malaika was stopped by 3 and 4, who were tugging her sleeve pretty hard. "Hmm? What is it?"

The twins point to themselves, then to the device.

Malaika gets the picture. "You two want to start it up for me?"

They both nod.

"Oh, okay then! I don't see why not!"

Malaika sits back and observes as 3 and 4 scurries to the top of the bed and jumps onto the bedside desk. At this point, the rest of the stitchpunks had completely stopped what they were doing to watch the device do its work.

"Alright you two," Malaika instructs, "You see the button with the dot? Press that once for power. The other buttons are for volume and advancing to the next song."

3 takes the first move in pressing the power button. A colorful light circles the top, then it blinks after a chime.

Malaika clears her throat, "Okay guys, watch this."

She turns her head toward the device. "Player," The light appeared again, seemingly responding to the voice, "Shuffle Malaika's, Song List."

The stitchpunks marvel at the incredible player as they wait for the song to-

"'Cause I may be bad,

but I'm perfectly good at it

Sex in the air

I don't care, I love the smell of it

Sticks and stones may break my bones

But chains and whips excite me!"

Malaika's heart came to a screeching halt. Somehow, she had forgotten that her player had a certain special feature: Like a VHS tape, it can continue to play paused songs.

"What the-!?"

"O-oh my!"

The stitchpunks were just as shocked and puzzled at this strange new song. 1 felt the most appalled. He never would have guessed that humans would make songs with dirty topics!

2, on the other hand, is listening in sheer bashfulness.

5 tries to cover 6's hearing, only for the artist to grab his arms in protest.

The college girl struggles to find her words, nearly stuttering in the process. "Uh...3, 4, s-skip to the next song please!"

3 presses the "Next" button, stopping the song. Malaika sighs in relief. Hopefully, the next one won't be quite as inappropriate-

"Let's talk about s*x, baby~

Let's talk about you and me

Let's talk about all the good things

And the bad things that may be

Let's talk about sex

Let's talk about s*x~"

Malaika curses under her breath.

If the twins weren't confused before then they sure are now.

7 and 1 exchange bewildered expressions.

Everyone else seems to feel the same way, even 6 raised an eyebrow in bemusement.

8 raises an eyebrow too, though his smirk can tell you it's more of a teasing matter.

"Twins!" Malaika hisses through her teeth, "Next song, please!"

This time, 4 presses the button. A soft tune plays.

The embarrassed student secretly prays for it to be a regular love song-

"I'll make love to you

Like you want me to

And I'll hold you tight~

Baby, all through the night

I'll make love to you

When you want me to

And I will not let go

'Til you tell me to~"

Malaika buries her face into her hijab and groans, "Ugghh, someone kill me it'll hurt less..."

It didn't help that 9 and 7 were snickering a little. 1 and 8 are attempting to hide their growing smiles, while 2 and 5 could be heard chuckling.

Malaika moans to the amused twins, blood rushing to her cheeks. "3...4...next...."

The twins press the "Next" at the same time and-

"I don't think you're ready for this jelly

I don't think you're ready for this jelly

I don't think you're ready for this,

Cause my body's too bootylicious for ya babe~

I don't think you're ready for this jelly

I don't think you're ready for this jelly

I don't think you're ready for this,

Cause my body's too bootylicious for ya babe~"

Not even Malaika's hijab could keep her from hearing everyone burst into laughter. They were not prepared to hear such a fun and silly song. 3 and 4 seem to like this song the most, and they even began to dance to it.

9, 7, and 5 were laughing the hardest.

"Hahaha, wow Mala! I didn't think you were THAT kind of girl!" 7 finally says between laughs.

"You-pfft!-sure have a way with songs..." 5 could barely contain his fits of laughter.

9 uses this opportunity to tease his human friend, "Now I know why you like that girlfriend of yours so much. Ahahaha!"

"Aaaaahhhhh, SHUT UP! We're not at that level yet!"