Heart of Steel

Frustration

“Yes. I’m fine, I just… inhaled my coffee on accident.” he said after he straightened up and resumed breathing regularly.

“Why has my father been sending his bodyguards to check on me? Why haven’t he and my mother been to visit me?” I asked, searching his eyes desperately.

His face contorted into a painful grimace when I asked the second question.

“Uh, your father is… very busy. He’s been sending us to find out how you are and report back to him. He has been here to check on you before. But he’s not in town at the moment.”

He said all this very slowly as he grabbed some napkins from the dispenser above the sink in the far right corner of the room and began mopping up the coffee he had just spewed onto the floor.

Well, it seems someone didn’t do their job properly, as his bodyguards were supposed to protect Kendrick and his family, and his daughter is lying in a hospital bed… I thought bitterly and probably irrationally. Nikki had mentioned an accident. I guess only fictional superheroes could prevent any harm from coming to those they attempted to protect. I noticed that he had completely dodged the question about my parents.

“My mom and dad… Were they in the accident too?” I asked him, noticing how his entire body tensed momentarily in discomfort. To my surprise, though, he shook his head.

“No, they weren’t. You were alone.” said Mr. Steelman, crossing the room to sit in the solitary chair in the corner. It seemed like he was avoiding looking at me at all costs.

“Do you know what happened to me?” I asked quietly, assuming he wouldn’t tell me even if he did. But I had to at least try. He convinced himself to look into my eyes as he furrowed his brow once again, his face transforming into a smooth, emotionless mask.

“I do. But I’m not at liberty to tell you that, Miss Wilson.”

UGH! Well then why the heck was he even here? Why did he come to my room in the middle of the night, especially since Nikki had said nobody had been to visit lately? I closed my eyes and let out an exasperated sigh, took a few deep breaths, then opened them again.

“Why are you here, Mr. Steelman?” I asked, probably sounding rude, but not concerned about it at the moment.

I was getting restless and irritated with being kept in the dark. He was silent for a few moments, apparently pondering my words and calculating an answer.

“When we received word that you had woken up, your father sent me to check up on the situation. He wants me to find out what you remember and how you’re doing.”

“But he doesn’t want me to know why I’m here?” I asked in an agitated tone.

He shook his head and avoided my gaze once more.

“I believe he thinks that any knowledge of your… accident will just upset you for the time being. You did just wake up, after all.” He said, deciding to brave another sip of his coffee.

I narrowed my eyes at him, controlling the urge to scream at the top of my lungs. What the hell was going on? And why weren’t my parents here? He never even mentioned my mother, only my father and some crap about him being away on business.

“Well, I presume the Doctors will be able to give you a proper update, Mr. Steelman.” I said in what I hoped was an obvious tone of dismissal.

This earned a grin, which he stifled as he placed his coffee cup on a nearby table, before crossing his arms over his chest and shaking his head back and forth slowly.

“I’m not going anywhere until I’m ordered to, Miss Wilson. Can’t get rid of me that easily.”

I rolled my eyes and let out a heavy sigh. This was infuriating! He wouldn’t talk to me, would barely look at me, and wouldn’t even leave me alone to stew in my resentment!

“Fine. Can you at least call the nurse back in, please? I would like some more water.” I said, changing tact and deciding to kill him with kindness.

“I can help you, if you’d like…” he suggested, bracing himself to stand.

“No, that’s okay. Thank you, though.” I said as quickly as my mouth would allow, flashing him a small smile.

I didn’t think I could handle him coming any closer to me. Although he was kind of harsh and annoying, I couldn’t help but feel nervous around him. I decided to chalk it up to his stunning physical attributes and the fact that he was the first person I had seen since waking up that wasn’t one of my assigned medical caretakers.

Think that way all you want, but you like this guy.

Shut up! I do not! I silently argued with the voice inside my head. How could I like him? I didn’t even know him. And he didn’t seem to know or care much about me, either. I decided to go back to sleep in protest of his refusal to either enlighten me or leave my room; well, that and because I was feeling very tired again. The conversation with him alone seemed to take so much out of me. I wasn’t sure if it was because I had just recently woken from a long period of unconsciousness, because of the condition my accident had left me in, or just because the man was so stubborn and irritating. Either way, I welcomed the feeling of drifting back into a black, vacant sleep.

I awoke abruptly after what felt like an eternity to the sound of a whispered conversation, one of the participants whom I recognized as Mr. Steelman. The other voice felt familiar as well, but I couldn’t connect a name to it. I decided to keep my eyes shut for the time being and lay still in case they brought up anything they wouldn’t have if they had known I was listening.

“ –telling me you’re absolutely sure she doesn’t remember anything that happened?” whispered the familiar but unidentified voice.

“James, I’m positive. She has no memory of the last 2 and a half years, and you can bet that we would have figured that out right away if she did. Isn’t that why the Senator specifically sent me?” said Mr. Steelman.

Upon hearing the name James, the image of a middle-aged man with dark brown curls speckled with gray and a slightly plump, bearded face popped into my head. I saw him dressed in a black suit with dark sunglasses standing outside of a limousine, holding the door open for me.

James. That’s right! Your dad’s most trusted security guard.

I also saw a young girl, maybe 6 or 7, with blonde ringlets and a pink ribbon in her hair. She was running up to me with the most beautiful smile on her face, yelling my name. I decided to return to those images later and focus my attention back on the hushed conversation, not wanting to miss anything.

“Steel, that’s good news, but at the same time, don’t you think that the timeline of her memory loss might look a bit…” said James, trailing off.

“Suspicious?” replied Mr. Steelman.

“Exactly.” Said James.

“Yes, I’ve been thinking about that myself. Which is why I’m really glad we’re under surveillance.” Said Steelman.

James let out a soft 'Ahh' of comprehension.

“You can prove it.” He said.

“Precisely.” Retorted Steelman in a triumphant tone.

I had absolutely no clue what they were talking about, so I just tried to follow the conversation as best I could.

“James, I… I can’t be the one to tell her. About her – ”

“I know. I understand. I’ll do it. I’ve known her the longest anyway. And if she remembers her 18th birthday like you told me in that text message, then she should remember me too.” Said James.

His voice had gone from quiet to somber in a matter of seconds. I began to feel panic rising up in my chest and throat, causing a wave of nausea and anxiety. What did Steelman not want to tell me? Why were they suddenly speaking as though they were at a funeral of some sort? I tried to steady my breathing, partly because I didn’t want them to know I was awake and partly because I could barely hear them over the increased volume of it.

“Okay, thank you. I just don’t think I can…” said Steelman. Now it was his turn to trail off.

“I’ll take it from here, Steel. Go home. You’ve already worked a double shift.” Replied James.

They muttered their goodbyes and I heard the door open and close. I wanted to shoot out of that uncomfortable bed and shake some answers out of James, but I knew my body wouldn’t let me. I also knew that he wouldn’t tell me a thing if I was in a panicked state like that. Steelman wouldn’t even tell me anything when I was calm, albeit a bit snappy. Part of me wanted to just go back to sleep altogether, terrified of what James was going to tell me. But I needed answers, whether they were good or bad. I decided to count to 200 in my head before I feigned stirring awake.