Heart of Steel

Nightmares

Sam and I stared at the Senator's retreating back until it was out of sight, then turned to look at each other.

"Wow." was all I could manage to say.

Sam nodded his head fervently, eyes bulging, apparently speechless himself. After a few more seconds, he slowly walked to the oversized couch nearest my wheelchair and sat down, staring at a blank space on the wall opposite him below the TV.

"Hey, Sam?" I said quietly.

"Hmm?" he answered, without looking away from the wall.

"Thank you."

He slowly turned his head to the right to meet my eyes.

"For what?" he asked.

"For sticking up for me. And being here for me." I said simply.

I wanted to say a lot more, but I was still so shocked at Kendrick's behavior that I couldn't find the words. Though I couldn't articulate it at the present moment, what Sam said to Kendrick meant so much to me. He was extremely protective of me, and I was incredibly thankful that he was in my corner and by my side.

"K, you know you don't have to keep thanking me. Kendrick needs to be put in his place sometimes. And I'm not going anywhere, by the way. I'll be here for you no matter what, even if he does fire me."

I nodded several times but averted my eyes as I didn't want him to see me crying again. Sam let out a soft, short laugh and leaned over the couch arm to cup my left shoulder with his hand. He gave it a gentle squeeze, but didn't say anything. I placed my hand on his but remained silent too. No words were necessary at the moment.

"You have an appointment with Dr. Wimble today. She can come here if you don't feel up to going to her office." Sam said after a few minutes, breaking the silence.

"No, I want to get out of this house. If only for a little while." I said, shaking my head.

Sam nodded and said, "Okay. It's scheduled for 1:00. Would you like to go get lunch first?"

I smiled and nodded. Just then, Gladys rolled a serving cart in with a large silver teapot, a delicate china milk pourer with a matching sugar container whose lid had a silver spoon sticking out of it, and several floral patterned cups. She looked around in search of the Senator.

"Thank you, Gladys. The Senator has already dismissed himself." said Sam with a polite smile.

I tried to hold back a snort as I saw Gladys roll her eyes before locking the back wheels of the tea cart and ambling out of the room.

"So, Shane didn't have any issues with you switching shifts, huh?" I asked him conversationally.

Sam shook his head.

"Nope. He just texted back 'K' when I asked him."

I rolled my eyes.

"That guy sure does have a way with words."

"Steel's not so bad once you get to know him. He kind of reminds me of your dad." said Sam, grinning when he saw the look of incredulity on my face.

"How so?" I asked, tilting my head to the right in curiosity.

"They both want people to think that they're harder and scarier than they really are."

I had all but chosen to ignore a certain question that had been looming in my mind, but since Sam had brought up Kendrick again I figured I'd just go ahead and ask him about it.

"You seem to know him rather well. Well enough to call him Kendrick..." I said, studying his facial expression carefully.

"I know a bit, yes." Sam said evasively.

"How come he lets you do that? He's the type of man that demands respect from everyone, especially his employees." I said musingly.

Sam just shrugged and got up to fix a cup of tea.

"Would you like one?" he asked me, gesturing to the cart right in front of him.

I nodded and said, "Yes please. Milk with-"

"2 spoons of sugar?" asked Sam, beaming down at me.

"How did you know that?" I asked him, a bit taken aback.

"You forget that I knew you before your accident." he said with a chuckle.

"Plus that's the same way you like your coffee. I relearned that in the hospital."

Well, that made sense. I thought to myself.

"Were we close, before? Did we hang out and stuff like we do now?" I asked him, nodding in thanks as he handed me my teacup.

"We did hang out a little, yes, but I really got attached when your accident happened. I realized how much you meant to me and how I didn't want to lose a friend like you. Then to see Kendrick treat you that way... I kind of lost it for a minute..." he trailed off, rubbing the back of his neck.

"I don't want to lose a friend like you either, Sam. You mean a lot to me." I said, unable to meet his eyes.

He chuckled again and tossed a throw pillow at me from the couch he had been sitting on.

"Hey! You better be glad I just sat my teacup down!" I said in light indignation as I threw the pillow right into his face.

Luckily, he had leaned over and placed his teacup on the coffee table moments before he had tossed the pillow, so there weren't any spills. He laughed and swung it wildly into my legs, but didn't let go this time. I grabbed the pillow before he could retrieve it and yanked as hard as I could, trying to get it out of his grip but having no such luck. He laughed at me and threw the pillow to the far side of the couch, ending the battle.

"You up for another movie before we go to lunch?" he asked.

I nodded. I really enjoyed spending time with him.

After a delicious lunch at a beautiful little café in the city, John drove Sam and me to Dr. Wimble's office. It was in a tall building that, judging by the sign out front, had several doctor's and therapist's offices inside. Once he signed me in and wheeled me into the waiting room, he pulled out his phone and began texting someone, a goofy grin finding its way onto his face.

"You talking to Rosalie?" I asked casually.

He quickly looked up, staring at me in surprise, his brows furrowed.

"How'd you know?"

I giggled.

"Because every time you see each other, she turns as red as an apple and you get that silly grin on your face." I said, beaming at him.

He rolled his eyes but smiled at me, shrugging slightly.

"I really like her, K."

"You should ask her out! It seems like the feeling is mutual. How'd you two meet anyway?" I asked curiously.

"We actually met at the hospital. She said she was planning to find a different job, and I had overheard James telling Kendrick we would begin the search for a nurse or assistant who could help you get around for a few weeks after you came home." he told me, his attention already back on his phone screen.

"At the hospital? Then how come I don't remember her?" I asked.

"She wasn't one of your nurses. She was on the floor below. But, we had ridden in the elevator together a few times, and one time she accidentally dropped her coffee and it splattered all over the place, so I walked her to the shop downstairs and bought her another one. She kept trying to refuse, but I insisted." he said, smiling at the memory but still looking at his phone.

"Such a gentleman." I said with a grin.

"Shut up." he said playfully.

It had been really good to get back into a session with Dr. Wimble. I hadn't seen her in over 10 days as she had gone on vacation right before I left the hospital. She asked me how coming home had gone and I told her about my limo ride with Shane, spending time with Sam, and of course the horrid interaction with Kendrick.

"Do you really think you're upset with him because he wasn't the one to tell you about your mom, or do you think perhaps it's something else?" she asked me once I had finished.

"What else could it be? I barely remember interacting with him before the accident."

"It is possible that you have held resentments towards him that your subconscious remembers and your conscious mind is reflecting those resentments, although you do not yet recall them. Today I want to try and bring the focus to more recent events in an effort to break down that wall in your memory. There is an exercise I'd like to try involving your subconscious thoughts."

She had me lay on my back on the dark leather couch I had been sitting on and close my eyes. She began humming quietly and whispering words I couldn't comprehend, whether because they were too quiet or because I was already drifting off...

The next thing I remembered was hearing the doctor say my name.

"Kasey? Kasey. It's time to wake up now."

My heart was pounding and my hands and forehead were sweaty. I sat up abruptly, wondering what on Earth had just happened, and regretted it immediately as my head spun and my vision became blurry.

"Easy. It's alright. You are safe." Said Dr. Wimble calmly, placing a gentle hand on my shoulder.

"Wh... what happened?" I sputtered between ragged breaths.

"You tell me." She said simply.

"I... have... no idea." I said slowly, trying to focus on slowing my breathing. Her peaceful aura was simultaneously calming me and annoying me.

"Hmm. Interesting. Give it a day or 2 and I believe you will begin to recall some of the things your mind just explored. The more you sleep the more likely you are to remember." She said with a kind smile.

She was a small woman, probably in her early 60s, with fierce brown eyes and gorgeous naturally silver hair that was shoulder length. She wore brown rectangular glasses that seemed to intensify the color and shape of her eyes and what I recognized as a designer pantsuit, probably Gucci or Versace. It was sleek and gray and accentuated her hair.

"I believe that's enough for today. I would like to see you back next week at the same time if it is convenient for you." She said, crossing her legs and clasping her hands around her right knee.

"I don't suppose I have anything else on the agenda." I said wryly.

She chuckled.

I was feeling a little nervous to go to sleep that night, so I had talked James into staying after his shift to play cards with me, Gladys and Sylvia for a little while.

"Lilly is at her mother's house so I don't have much else to do." He had said with a grin.

The image of the beautiful little girl with bouncy blonde curls resurfaced in my mind.

"Lilly! Your daughter! How is she doing?" I asked brightly, happy to have remembered her.

"She's doing great! Missing you. She'll be happy to know you asked about her!"

James whole face lit up when he was talking about his daughter. It was so sweet. He told us about her adventures in the second grade, how she had ridden a horse for the first time that summer, how she reacted when he got her a kitten for her birthday and how she had finally worked up the nerve to jump off the diving board of his pool. I found myself wondering if Kendrick had ever talked that way about me, so proudly and lovingly. I hadn't seen him again since the terrible conversation I had endured earlier that morning.

I made some small talk with Rosalie when she was helping me get ready for bed and told her I had encouraged Sam to ask her out. She, of course, turned bright red and dodged the comment, but she shot me an appreciative wink when she was leaving the room, whispering her goodbyes. I was thinking I'd have them together in no time.

All of a sudden, I was standing in a cemetery staring at my mother's grave. I was distraught that this was the first time I had visited her. I wanted to tell her Happy Birthday but I also wanted to scream for her to come back to me, to ask her why she had to leave me and tell her I didn't want to be here without her. I felt a large warm hand pat my shoulder hesitantly. I placed my own hand appreciatively on the consoling one but refused to look at its owner.

Then I was back in Kendrick's house and he was yelling at me.

"Why would you try to hide this from me? He is far too old for you and nowhere near good enough!"

"You don't even know him!" I shouted back.

"He's sweet and kind and he actually cares about me, unlike you!" I said, angry tears rolling down my face.

"I won't accept this. I won't stand for it!" Bellowed Kendrick.

"I don't give a damn what you accept!" I retorted, turning to run out of the library where Kendrick had walked in on us in quite the scandalous position, but jerking backwards involuntarily as he grabbed my wrist and held it firmly.

The scenery suddenly changed again as I crouched low behind the marvelous hand carved desk in Kendrick's office. If he came behind it to sit, he would catch me. To my utter amazement, he seemed to have leaned casually on the front of it, judging by the sound of his voice no longer coming nearer and the very slight movement of the heavy desk.

"I want this matter investigated thoroughly with a fine tooth comb, and then investigated again. If he believes my wife's accident could have been staged, I want the head of the bastard that did it on a stick!" Kendrick hissed.

"Yes sir, of course." Said a voice I didn't recognize.

"Oh, and Johnson? Not a word of this to anyone else. I do not want my daughter or her... little friend finding out that I actually heeded their advice."

Next, I was in my Mustang hurdling through the air at an unbelievable speed, the car tumbling so fast I could barely keep my eyes open. A gutrenching, ear spitting sound erupted as the car slammed into a steep bank and began sliding uncontrollably towards a jet black body of water.

I'm gonna die. I'm gonna die. I'M GONNA DIE!!!