Heart of Steel

Going Home

I was quiet in the limo on the way home, staring out of the window and contemplating what could have happened to the ring. I came to the conclusion that someone didn't want me to have it; and that unfortunately, there wasn't much I could do about that. To my surprise, Shane sat in the back with me. I had predicted that he would be up front with the driver where there would at least be a sliding glass window in between us, knowing how little he seemed to like being around me. After a few minutes of silence, I tore my eyes away from the summer scenery I had been staring at to find Shane's boring into me, his brow furrowed in concentration. I raised my eyebrows and stared at him, wondering what he was thinking. Apparently, he was thinking the same about me.

"What's going on in that head of yours?" he asked me with a questioning look.

I narrowed my eyes and crossed my arms over my chest, deciding it would be fun to tease him a little.

"Wouldn't you like to know?" I murmured, trying to suppress a sly grin.

Shane rolled his eyes. He seemed to have taken a liking to that particular reaction recently.

"I was just wondering about my life before the accident." I said, thinking I might as well give my prying another shot.

Who knew, maybe Shane would have come around to the idea of at least revealing a little bit more information. He nodded in understanding, then took a deep breath and brought his hands together, interlacing his fingers and staring down at them.

"Even if it wouldn't cost me my job to tell you what happened, I would choose not to." he said slowly and carefully. He finished his sentence before looking into my eyes, which had narrowed more and more with every word he had spoken, my face growing steadily redder.

"UGH!!!" I exclaimed, pulling my knees up to my chest and hugging my legs, but still staring at Shane.

"Why the hell not?!?" I practically bellowed.

"Because it isn't safe for you to know, Kasey."

That was the very first time he had called me anything other than Miss Wilson. For some reason, it made my breath hitch in my throat and my heart pound wildly. I continued my angry glare for fear that if I relaxed my features he would see how my body was responding to him saying my name.

"Whatever happened, you're okay now, and that's the way your father wants to keep it. The best way for that to happen is for you to just move on with life as you know it now." Shane said calmly.

This infuriated me even more. At least James and Sam seemed sad and unwilling to keep me in the dark, even though they wouldn't disobey their direct orders to do just that. Shane seemed to want me to just forget anything that had happened in the last few years and act like everything was fine. What an ass! Didn't he understand how frustrating this was for me? Did he even give a damn how I felt at all? The answer to that question had just been made very clear in my mind.

"What would you do if you were in my position, Mr. Steelman?" I asked, my last 2 words dripping with anger and contempt.

Shane seemed to think my words over for a long time before answering.

"What do you mean by your position?" he asked as he tilted his head to the left slightly.

"I mean, what would you think if you woke up in a hospital bed with absolutely no memory of how you got there or why? What would you think when, by the time you remembered how to speak again and asked the people around you what happened, the only answer you got was that you were in an accident? How would you feel to know that your father held his job to a higher importance than seeing his only child in person and wanting to be the one to tell her that her mother had died?! How the hell do you think it would make you feel to be constantly watched by a man who clearly doesn't give half a s**t what you know or how you feel, like you're some sort of brainless piece of garbage whose emotions don't exist, or even matter?!?"

By the time I finished, I was yelling at the top of my lungs and tears were rolling down my face. Shane had looked down the second I started crying, refusing to look back up at me for the rest of the car ride. I was so angry and also a little hurt. I hated the way he acted like I didn't matter. It was terrible. I didn't want him to be one of my bodyguards anymore. At least the other 2 pretended to care how I felt about all this, whether they did or not. He didn't seem to have the capacity to even do that. He shut down completely after that, crossing his arms and staring anywhere but at me, so I did the same, merely hugging my legs and looking out the window again, until we got to my dad's gigantic mansion of a house. I had remembered what it looked like, but it still seemed much bigger in person.

After waiting for the wrought iron gates to open, the driver pulled down the long driveway and stopped in front of the dark tan brick porch and 10 foot (or higher) glass front doors. There were intricate iron "W"s on each door and round crystal knobs, just like I remembered them. So over the top! The driver, whose name I remembered was John when I saw his face, opened the door to the limo as Shane began to slide towards it. I decided to pout for another minute and let him get out first.

"Thanks, Johnny." said Shane as he turned around and offered a steadying hand to me before I could climb out of the car.

I scowled at him in disgust and dodged his hand, trying to stand up on my own but clumsily slipping, as I had left my walking stick in the cab of the limo. UGH! Why did I have to be so sluggish at walking still? Shane moved swiftly in front of me, arms stretched towards me to cradle my torso before I hit the ground. When we straightened up, he seemed to be blushing a little, and had finally decided to meet my eyes again.

"Do you really think I don't care about your feelings?" he asked me, taking me by complete surprise.

"Uh, yeah. The proof is in the pudding, Steelman." I spat after shrugging out of his hold and leaning against the car, arms crossed over my chest as I resumed my previous scowl.

He looked down again, pondering my words. I knew I should have thanked him for catching me, but I was too angry at the moment. He half-crawled back into the limo and emerged with my walking stick and my purse, extending them both towards me after straightening back up. His hazel eyes seemed to dance with anticipation as he opened his mouth to speak again.

"I'm sorry." he said simply.

I stared at him for about 30 seconds, jaw set, trying to determine if his apology was genuine.

"I'll take it." I said finally, grabbing my cane and bag from him gently.

He gave me one swift nod, then asked if I needed help getting to the door. I shook my head, all but determined to do it on my own, but almost collapsed in relief when I saw Sam running down the brick front steps to my side. I was positive I wouldn't have made it all the way inside without help.

"Kasey!" Sam said brightly as soon as he saw me.

His smile faltered upon seeing the look on my face. Judging by how hot my cheeks felt, I had obviously turned red when Shane grabbed me, but I could probably pass it off as anger, seeing as I was still scowling a little.

"What's wrong?" asked Sam, a look of concern and confusion on his kind face. I noticed for the first time that his eyes were exactly the same shade of blue as my own. Of course, it probably helped that he was wearing a royal blue collared shirt.

"Hey Sam. Nothing, I'm good." I said, trying to fake a smile.

I must not have done a very good job, because he began to stare at me with a look of suspicion on his face.

"Do I need to kick Steel's ass?" Sam said playfully.

This got a bark of laughter out of Shane, and even a genuine smile out of me.

"You couldn't touch me even if you wanted to, Sammy. I'm way too fast for you." Shane said as he began to walk up the steps laden with my bags, blanket and pillow.

Sam rolled his eyes at Shane and then turned to look at me.

"I'll let you know." I said, grinning.

Sam helped me up the stairs and into the humongous foyer, where I was extremely relieved to see a brand new shiny wheelchair awaiting me. Although I had learned to fully walk again, it was very tiring and I still needed to build up my stamina before I could get back to what my physical therapists called 'normal'. I sighed and rolled my eyes, trying not to look as happy as I actually was when Sam gestured at the chair. My pride wanted everyone to think that I didn't need the stupid thing, although I did.

"You hungry?" Sam asked as he rolled me out of the foyer and to the right, towards the dining area in between the front door and the kitchen quarters.

"Gladys made your favorite meal for lunch!" he said excitedly.

A plump but pretty middle-aged woman stood in the doorway to the kitchen wearing a black knee-length dress with a black apron lined in white ruffles, smiling at me enthusiastically. 2 plates of meatloaf, mashed potatoes, green peas and yeast rolls were sitting on the table in front of her. The aroma was intoxicating to say the least. I beamed up at her.

"Hi, Gladys! Meatloaf! Thank you so much!" I said, my eyes becoming misty with joy and nostalgia.

Before coming to this place, I had really been dreading it. I didn't remember it feeling like my house and didn't want to be there at all since I had found out my mother wouldn't be waiting for me when I arrived. All my memories of that house had been drenched in negative and angry feelings, as they all centered around Kendrick, his bad attitude, and the many arguments we had participated in while there. I hadn't even taken the time to recall how close I was with the staff or all the good times Mom and I had experienced there when she was still alive. It might have been due to the fact that Kendrick was still out of town, but to my great surprise, I actually felt like I was somewhere I hadn't been in a very long time: home.