If We Had Never Met

Chapter 3: Shattered Illusions

For the next two months， Aelia lived like a robot programmed with precise routines.

At five in the morning， she was the first to arrive at the library， braving the biting cold; at one in the morning， she was the last to leave， the building shrouded in darkness. Caffeine fuelled her， fear spurred her on. She crushed every shred of humiliation， every pang of resentment， every ache for Ethan into the finest powder， swallowing it alongside complex physics equations and tedious historical texts.

Her efforts paid off on her report card: her maths grade rose from a C- to a B， her history essay even earned an A-. Professors' attitudes shifted from scrutiny to recognition. Yet Aelia understood this was insufficient. She had merely transformed from a spectre who“didn't belong here” into a shadow who was“barely tolerated”– still far from the true light.

The turning point came on a snowy December night， the eve of the final physics exam.

The library was warm and quiet， filled only with the rustle of turning pages and the howling of wind and snow outside. Aelia was racking her brains over the final geometry question， which went beyond the syllabus—the kind of trap most likely to be set by that notoriously strict teacher. When she finally deduced the answer using an extremely obscure approach， she instinctively lifted her head to stretch her stiff neck.

Then she saw him.

Ethan sat diagonally opposite， not far from her—a proximity she'd never dared hope for. Unlike usual， he wasn't surrounded by friends. Instead， he sat alone， brow furrowed， tugging at his immaculate blond hair in frustration. His rough draft paper was scribbled with formulas as chaotic as his current state of mind.

It was that very geometry problem.

Aelia’s heart clenched as if in an invisible vice， her mind splitting into two warring factions: one voice screamed，“Go on! Give him the answer! This is your only chance!”; while another sneered，‘Don't humiliate yourself. Why should he need your help?’

She looked at him， then down at her crumpled sticky note covered in derivations. She recalled her father's contempt when he burned her certificates， Olivia's‘charity case’ remarks， the teacher's icy glances in class. Fear surged like a tidal wave， threatening to overwhelm her.

But this time， she did not flee.

It took her a full ten minutes to steady her trembling hands. Then， tearing off the note， she shuffled towards his desk step by step like a soldier marching to the scaffold. Unable to meet his eyes， she simply placed the paper gently before him and murmured in a voice barely above a whisper:‘This... might be useful.’

With that， she spun like a startled rabbit， ready to flee back to her corner.

‘Wait.’

Ethan's voice was not loud， yet it commanded her to freeze. She stiffened and turned back， meeting a gaze she'd never seen before—a mixture of surprise and scrutiny. He read the note， then looked up at her. For the first time， his sapphire eyes held none of their usual polite detachment.

‘Is this... a variation of the Euler-Lagrange equation?’ he asked.‘How did you conceive it?’

‘I...’ Aelia's throat felt dry.‘I simply thought of the fortress as a function varying with time.’

‘A function varying with time...’ Ethan repeated， his eyes growing brighter. Suddenly， he smiled. It was a genuine smile， devoid of any pretence， and the entire library seemed to brighten with it.“Good heavens! Why didn't I think of that!“

That night， the next half hour felt like an unreal dream to Aelia. Ethan pulled out the chair beside him for her to sit. They didn't discuss the problem again， but talked about many things: that stuffy physics teacher， foods they both detested， California's perpetually brilliant sunshine， and New England's endless snow.

In the quiet library， a space that felt entirely theirs， Aelia found herself close enough for the first time to catch the clean， soapy scent on his woollen jumper—a blend of fresh laundry and old book pages. She held her breath， nervous， yet greedily savoured every single moment.

‘You know what?’ Ethan suddenly said， looking at her as they gathered their things to leave，“ You're far more interesting than I imagined， more so than all of them.“

Walking back through the snow to the dormitory， Aelia felt light as a feather， as if she might float away at any moment. The icy snowflakes landing on her face felt like warm feathers. Back in the dorm， even Maya noticed something was different.‘Did you find a wallet?’ she asked， raising an eyebrow.

“Better than that.“ Aelia replied with a smile. For the first time， she felt she might truly belong here.

The disillusionment came the following afternoon.

The teacher adjusted his spectacles and announced， with an almost admiring tone， that Ethan was the only student to have perfectly solved the final， beyond-the-syllabus question.

‘Ethan，’ the teacher asked，‘would you mind sharing your approach to solving it? It was truly brilliant.’

Ethan wore a flawless， unassailable smile. He glanced at Olivia beside him before addressing the class:‘This is largely thanks to Olivia's companionship and encouragement. We studied together last night， and her support gave me the inspiration to solve the problem.’

Maya relayed this story to Aelia， having heard it from classmates.

In that instant， Aelia felt all the blood in her body surge back to her heart， freezing solid. The world's sounds seemed to vanish， leaving only a dull， thunderous roar.

She finally understood: her flash of inspiration that night， and the conversation she'd mistaken for redemption， had merely provided a trivial， insignificant footnote to someone else's perfect love story. She was no Cinderella， merely the servant tasked with clearing the shards of the pumpkin carriage after the clock struck midnight.

That evening， Maya， witnessing her utterly distraught state， could no longer hold back.

‘How long will you delude yourself， Aelia?’ Maya's voice brimmed with anguish and fury.‘That man never valued you. He took everything you did for him as his due.’

Aelia's illusions shattered completely. Like a cat whose tail had been stepped on， she instantly bristled. Hysterically， she screamed at Maya: You don't understand! You don't understand anything! Because you've never wanted something as desperately as I have!“

With a loud thud， Maya slammed a glass of water onto the table. She looked at Aelia， her eyes filled with disappointment.‘I don't understand why you'd degrade yourself like this for a mere illusion.’

With that， she picked up her camera and stormed out， slamming the door behind her.

The dormitory fell into a deathly silence. Aelia sat alone on the cold floor， her back pressed against the door that had slammed shut， having lost not only hope but also her only friend.