writingcamp+rewrite

week4 + second chapter

Morna lifted her eyes and stared right through him. Tears ran down her face, and he could feel the grief and guilt in her heart.

If he survives this, just, I'd do

anything! Just make a miracle - she sobbed before falling silent

again.

Selmun kneeled before her, but as a god, he could not hold her hand, and ease her pain.

He knew, that the woman can't see him, but in his heart he felt something the first time in a long long while.

- So – Yamunka reluctantly put

her hand on his shoulder -, I call you jaded, and you fall for the

next human you see? Interesting strategy, brother. One that will

never work, but, you know, whatever makes you happy.

- She's beautiful, don't you think?

Yamunka looked at the woman. Her smile faded as the realisation hit her.

- I knew her – she blurted.

Selmun glanced up from his trance.

- What?

- I used to visit her long ago,

well, when she was a child. So happy she was back then. Or maybe

that's not the right word, but she found joy. Did you know that

most of them find pleasure in creation? They just love to create.

Probably this is why the many children. They love to create those.

Procreation, they call it. You get it? Pro-creation.

Selmun looked back to the woman, and than to Yamunka again in confusion.

- What are you trying to say? - he

asked her.

- She used to do so many things,

draw, sing, dance. I sat with her for hours sometimes. Made me

laugh. Not anymore though. Somehow she lost it, trade the joy away

for something else. I rarely visit her anymore.

- Who is she praying for?

- Her boyfriend, I presume. Shall

we go and take a look?

- How do you know?

- I don't. This is why we need to

go, see. And besides, the god of death is calling me again. Are you

coming?

He felt the invite too, but only faintly, through the long forgotten desires bubbling up in him. He nodded absentmindedly, and got to his feet. The woman stared at her hands, she had no more words, as if the world got stuck in her. Selmun reached out, but as soon as he touched her shoulder, she burst out in tears.

- Brilliant – Yamunka was less

than impressed. - There is absolutely no way that it's going to end

in a disaster. Absolutely none, whatsoever.

- Just shut up, will you?

- Hey, I'm telling you, don't do

anything stupid, okay? Just, I know, you like her, she is you type,

but you are a god, Selmun, and she is a mortal. Keep that in mind.

He didn't answer immediately, instead he stepped into a room, where a man lay unconscious. Tubes were connected to him, monitors attached beeped in the regular. He was alone, but a black purse and a coat carelessly thrown over a chair indicated a visitor.

- Don't you ever think how life

could be different if you weren't a god, Yamu? Have you ever

wondered? - he asked her as she followed him into the room.

- Considering the time passed, I'm

guessing I would be dead. Just like you.

- We've been doing this for more

milennia than I care to count. I'm tired of it. You said it

yourself sister, I'm jaded.

- And whose fault is that? When the

spirit came and asked you if you wanted it, you said yes. Noone

forced you.

- True, but he wasn't upfront with

the whole idea. I mean can you expect a mortal to comprehend what

it's like to be a god? To live, and be unable to change anything?

- Why is this coming up now with

you? We have a good life. We travel, we can enjoy what life offers.

- I saw something in her.

- Listen to me, Selmun. Go, have

fun with someone else, someone unattached, like the god of letting

go. He is nice. You'd love it with him. And then you could

concentrate on this – she waved around –, again. I'll even help

you if you want.

- Why are you doing this? You are

the god of pleasure and joy, shouldn't you be impartial to who I

feel all these feelings towards?

- It may be so, but I'm also your

friend, and I see where this thing leads to.

- Then make me happy about what I

have to do. Make me happy and appreciative of rejection. Can you? -

his voice was deperate – Yamu, I have felt something, for the

first time in a few thousand years. I want to be loved too. The god

of letting go is nice, but he can't help me. Not any more. Not in

any form.

- But she is a mortal!

- I can give her longevity! She can

live longer, maybe even gift her immortality as it was given to me.

- This is a mistake! You haven't

even talked to her, and already you are thinking of making her

comparable to us?

Selmun looked at her. There was a strange glint in his eyes, as if he had an idea.

- So – he started tentatively -,

you're saying that I should show myself to her?

- Well, yes, in a way – she

contemplated aloud, when she realized what he meant -, but

definitely no! Selmun, this is a bad idea!

But strangely, her hands, as if they had a mind of their own, grabbed Selmun's arms. Excitement flooded the both of them, as the god of grief slipped into his human form. They looked at each other again, and then Selmun yelped.

- Huh! - he exclaimed as he slapped

on his newly shaped body with his hands. - How do I look? - he

asked Yamunka, who stood opposite to him, but unseen to the human

eye.

- Like an i***t – she replied

with a half smile on her face. She leaned closer. - Don't do

anything stupid!

Selmun smiled at her, and nodded.

- Thank you, sister! - he would

have continued, but someone stepped through the door.

The woman from the chapel, her bright blue eyes pierced through him, as she stepped closer. Her face was puffed from the tears she cried but for Selmun, something beautiful about her still lingered. His arms fell to his side as they looked at each other.

- Who are you? - her voice was

surprisingly sharp. - Doctor...

Selmun stood dumbfounded for a short moment before he realized the words were meant for him.

- Ehrm, eh, Doctor Steinman – he

stuttered looking at her face. He couldn't look away, so the woman

did it for him.

She tore her gaze away, and looked at the man sleeping in the bed. She stepped over and touched his forehead. Selmun followed her. He was about to put his hand on her shoulder when he realized that it might end to be a bad idea. So he stopped himself. Instead he lifted the chart from the bed, to look like he knew what he was doing.

The numbers and the codes told nothing to him, but the woman turned back as if she was expecting something.

- Are you the specialist dr.

Steinman? - she asked.

- I'm, er... yes. Yes – Selmun

stuttered again. - Yes, and I'm here to offer you and your husband?

- he waited a moment as if to see her reaction – an experimental

treatment. Ah... so, are you...?

The woman shook her head. Her sadness crashed on his heart as waves of the ocean. But there was something else there too. Guilt. When she looked up, she tried to hide her tears.

- We live together – she almost

whispered. He felt shame in her voice, as if she wanted to hide.

- That's nice – he didn't know

what to say. The silence began to stretch between them, and he felt

the embarassment creeping up in his throat. - So, uhm, I...

Something started to beep in his pocket. At first he didn't know what it was, but when he realized where the sound was emanating from, he grabbed for it. A message from Yamunka screamed at him.

- I'm sorry – he lifted the

little device -, I need to go.

The woman looked back up at him, as if she was still expectant of something. As they looked at each other's eyes he felt his heart lurch forward. Selmun almost moved with it, but from the corner of his eye he saw Yamunka appear at the door.

- But you haven't told me anything

about this treatment, dr Steinman, what...

- I will get back to you miss...

- Morna. My name is Morna Siegmut.

- Ah, lovely – Selmun glanced at

the door where his twin gestured more and more furiously as the

time passed. - Yes. Uhm, let me just, just deal with this, and I'll

get you the details.

She looked down for a moment, but when she looked up, she had a smile on her face, a sad, but beautiful smile, full of hope.

- Thank you doctor – she

whispered.

Selmun quickly wiggled from her gaze, because she evoked feelings in him, that he was not yet ready to face. He bowed his head to her, and darted to the door. As soon as he disappeared from the room, he kneeled down behind a gurney and gave up his human form.

Yamunka was ready to chastize him right away as soon as he turned back to his god self.

- That was brilliant! - she

started. - Went real good. Experimental treatment? You will get

back to her? What were you thinking?

- I don't know. I just tried to go

with it. I saw how you do it.

- Yes, but you are the god of

grief.

- So? None of us are supposed to

get close to mortals, not just me!

- I don't fall in love with them at

first sight, like you do.

- That was unnecessary, Yamu.

- But it's true. You see a pretty

face, you fall for them, and then you get hurt, when you try to

touch them.

- This is different!

- How so?

- I don't know. She looks at me, as

if she sees something more.

- Because you lied, i***t! She

expects the all curing cure of cures. The thing that will save her

boyfriend. Which by the way is another can of worms altogether that

I'm unwilling to open.

- Yamu, where are we going?

- We have a dead guy, because

imagine, this is our job. And this one was loved too, strange as it

may sound. What's more, I can't give solace to his widow and

children. Only a temporary relief that he is beyond his misery.

- I'm pretty sure that you would

make a great god of both end of the spectrum.

- Don't even think about it. I've

got enough on my plate as it is. What do you like about her anyway?

It's not like she is interesting or anything.

- Maybe. But I want to get to know

her. She seems nice.

- But you lied to her. What do you

think she will say if it turns out that you are not a doctor?

- I don't know.

- Well, that seems like a solid plan. Also, how are you going to maintain that you are an actual

human?

- What do you mean?

- Considering that you want to

seduce her, you will need a place. Or something. You know how bent

they are on the material.

- That... I haven't thought of.

 Yamunka stopped in front of a door. Everything was silent, calm. The staff that was always so busy, when people were dying now went and found something new to deal with.