Kat's Apology
1248 Words
With the heavy burden of misunderstanding weighing on her, Kat prepared for bed. She threw on a pair of soft pink cotton pajamas and sat patiently on her bed. She leafed through a few teen magazines waiting for Steve.
She heard the front door slam, an indistinct conversation downstairs, then the thundering footsteps ascending the staircase and heard a settling in the next room, knowing it had to be Steve. Now for the confrontation she wasn’t ready for.
She hovered at the entrance of Steve’s room, waiting for her ill-fated conversation, rubbing her arm incessantly. A forever reminder of the battles she endured at the foster home. A painful trophy that she will never be able to hide.
Her stomach churned at apologizing and the thought explaining her deepest feelings to Steve. What if he was mad at her for her outburst. Accusing him of doing the opposite of their dad was probably the meanest thing anyone could say to him. He prided himself on following their father’s ideals. Steve actually was a mirror image of him, in almost every way.
Kat stepped in with her head facing the ground. She softly knocked and lifted her eyes to him.
“It's open,” Steve called. Steve stood with his back to her, sliding his watch off his wrist. He looked at her through the reflection of his dresser mirror.
“Hey.” she said tensely and clasped her hands tightly together.
“It’s getting late, don’t you think you should be getting to bed?” Steve said flatly. He placed his silver watch in a box with his initials on it. He didn’t sound thrilled to see her, and she couldn’t blame him.
“I…I wanted to talk to you for a minute.” Kat faltered. She figured she at the very least she owed him an apology. Hopefully he wouldn’t be too mad. Without him, they would be a broken family. He was the glue that held them together. She owed him a lot. He sat on the edge of his bed.
“Sure,” Steve said halfheartedly. “Come on sit down.”
He looked over his shoulder and patted the space on the bed beside him. He looked as if he was eager to have a conversation. There was never tension between them, how did their lives go so wrong.
Kat sat down beside him, twisting her hands together anxiously in her lap. She opened her mouth to speak, but instead of producing words, she began to sob uncontrollably. The sudden burst of emotion was just as surprising to Kat as it was to Steve, and she placed her wet face into the palms of her hands, trying to gain control of herself.
“Kat! What is it? What’s going on?” Steve asked in alarm. “Why are crying, Kat?” He paused for a moment waiting for her to collect herself, “Hey, come on Kat, talk to me.” He took her by the shoulders looking into her face.
Kat choked through her thick sobs, nodding her head and sniffling. God she was a blubbering i***t.
“I just..I w-w-wanted to tell you I'm s-sorry.” she stammered. “I shouldn't have yelled at you. It's just...It's just...”
She trailed off, sniffling and choking back her tears.
“What?” Steve asked gently.
“I hated being in that house, Steve,” Kat cried. “I was so scared all the time! The boys there were so mean! I thought I was never coming home! I thought you left me.”
She watched Steve’s head turn away, as if his stomach churned. She knew her words cut through his strong, tough exterior. He had a big heart. He was there for her when their father died. Wiping her tears his little sister’s tears away.
He was the one who was always there to protect their siblings and keep them safe. But he had dropped the ball and his clenched eyes looked like he felt he had let them down.
“Kat,” Steve said. “You know that I would never leave you, right?” He chocked holding back his tears.
“But you did leave me,” Kat pressed. “You left me there for three months!” She pointed out.
Steve wrapped his large arms around Kat, pulling her in close. She took comfort in her big brothers strong arms. He was as close to a parent as she would get right now.
“Kat, I'm really sorry. I swear I did everything that I could. But I promise you, I will never leave you again.”
Kat pulled back, wiping the tears from her eyes. She nodded, averting her eyes. Steve studied her expression.
“Hey, I promise.” He obviously sensed her disbelief. He placed a finger under her chin, and pulled her gaze back over to him. “Ok?” She took a long pause then a smile grew. Honestly, she knew in her heart he would always try keep them safe. She was lucky to have him. She felt a calm wash over her.
“Ok.”
He patted her back. She caught a whiff of his breath with the smell the alcohol and cigarettes. It compounded her guilt knowing he had actually gone out to drink, just because of her.
“I’m sorry for yelling at you.” Kat said. It sounded like he understood and he would never leave them again.
“That's okay,” Steve reassured her. “You've had a really tough past few months, we all did. But I promise that I am never going to leave you again. You're home now and you're safe. Alright?”
Steve stood and Kat followed his lead, feeling he was satisfied with the conversation. They moved passed the anger and guilt. It was all out, hopefully they could get their relationship back to where it was before she had gone.
“Hey Kat,” Steve said. “No more drinking, or doing anything else that could land you back in foster care. Ok? When they see it's your second time in the system, you may not come back. And I don’t want to lose you.”
Kat nodded. He kissed her forehead She turned to the door. Steve rested his hand on her back and walked her too her room.
“I won't do it again.” she said.
“Good. I love you alright? Now go get some rest, ok?”
“I love you too. Goodnight.” He let her go and started his way back to his room.
She turned as she got to the door and looking over her shoulder.
“You know, Steve. Scott seemed to like it where he was, do you think we can send him back?” She joked, hoping to bring some levity to the moment and renew their relationship.
He stopped, looked over his shoulder back to her and puckered his lips, and rolled his eyes up to see her.
“No. smartass.”
“Just checking. But you can always reconsider your answer.” She grinned. Almost feeling foolish for holding in this conversation for so long. She was an emotional wreck for no reason. They could have been over this a week ago.
- Writer
