Loving the Dragon King

Chapter 8: The Past

Alanna’s POV

Why did I do that? I never understood myself. I was bold; did whatever thought came to my mind. I kissed him, our first kiss. Was I unwell? He kissed me back, sort of. Then he just jumped out of my window. What a normal way to exit a room. I sat there trying to process everything. I thought for sure he would have dropped me from the window again for what I did, said, everything.

“What is happening” I said, confused, placing my hands over my face. I wanted to scream. He was so infuriating, so difficult to understand! As a king, you would think his thoughts would be a little more organized and placed in a neatly ordered file in his brain.

I rose from my bed and walked over to the window. I needed fresh air. There was so much going on, my head was spinning.

I took a couple of deep breaths. What just happened was not settling right with me. I was between yearning for more and slapping myself for digging a deeper hole. All I could do was examine the distance, the mountains. My happy place. I decided that a walk should do better than staring out a window. I called one of my maids, Angie, to walk with me. As I had been instructed, I never walk alone.

Angie was a maid I was the closest to. She and I had a lot in common, so we ended up connecting more than we should, but who’s going to know our friendship? No one pays attention to me.

We decided to stroll the gardens, where we had roughly 3 acres of magnificent arrangements of colorful flowers, shrubs, herbs, vegetables, and my favorite, the fruit trees, which homed a couple of seating areas to relax. We had orange and lemon trees, tall and mighty, full of life. I would sneak away to these trees the first week of Cianan and I being married. It gave me a little piece of mind to calm my nerves. The moon goddess was high in the sky tonight, beaming down on the garden’s paths. She lit up the plants and a majestic water fountain made of white marble.

“Are you alright... Alanna” I told her to call me by my real name to give me a little sense of normality, or at least what I had always been used to. I never liked the titles. They never felt right to me. I never felt like I was ever above anyone.

“I’m a little confused,” I explained, turning my head towards her. “Cianan has been nothing but a ticking time bomb. You think at some point he may actually detonate. I can’t read him, and I can’t understand him. He’s so…. I don’t even know how to explain it. He’s confusing. He’s not someone I would willingly marry. He seemed lost and trying to hold himself together. Can you tell me anything about his past?”

She put her head down. “Well, I was really only a servant to his mother. She was sweet and kind." She began, then the smile form her face faded. "You know Cianan had an older brother, right?"

I shook my head side to side. "His name was Nikolai. He was killed by rogues just after his 15th birthday. The queen wasn't the same when she found out, practically forgetting she had another son, too. Cianan was only 7.”

“That’s quit an age gap.”

“It was hard for his mother to conceive. They were lucky to have two children. That was so long ago; nearly 20 years ago. My mother used to work in the castle, and she would take me to help out. That’s how I got the job, and that’s how I got to know the two princes. Well, now one is a king.”

“Why did the rogues kill him? How did they get to him in the first place?”

“He went outside of the gates one day. Going for a stroll, I guess. Chasing a girl, maybe? I’m not quit sure. I don’t really know what happened. I just remember the palace being chaotic. The queen didn’t leave her room for weeks. The king grew cold. He became more bitter and hostile towards the people. Soon after Nikolai’s death, the queen fell ill from lack of sleep, depression, malnourishment. Nikolai was her first, her favorite. She died about a month after Nikolai. Rumor has it she just let go of herself. Some say she committed suicide. What the rogues did to Nikolai was gruesome.” Tears started to come from her eyes and her voice started to choke. “His body was completely torn apart. Tortured, beaten, beheaded…” Angie was choking up. The images she saw must have been traumatizing.

“But why would they do that to a child?" I asked, concerned.

“Because the rogues are outcasts. People who betray the trust of the king, but instead of execution, are exiled, and when you’re exiled, you go mad, lose your way. Wish the king had executed you to escape the torture of not seeing your family, the plentifulness of food and safety; fending for yourself, your life. It makes people less… human. They lose their way. The rogues have no sympathy for anything or anyone. They will hunt you down and do as they please to you. They thrive on torture and blood.”

I could see the fear and pain in those emerald green eyes. “So, was Cianan ever loved? Shown affection by his parents? I guess I’m trying to figure out why his mood changes so drastically.”

“From what I saw, he was loved. Maybe not as loved as Nikolai was. Everyone loved Nikolai. He was sweet and charming, very handsome, too. He had a tender heart.” A smile appeared on her face. She couldn’t hide the fact that she had once felt something for him but knew it could never happen considering their statuses.

“Cianan was a mess when his mother and brother died. I mean, what child wouldn’t be? Two losses in the span of a month is awful. I couldn’t imagine.”

“And what about his father? What happened to him?”

“He was hard on Cianan, trying to teach him everything he needed to know, but he was also focused on exterminating the rogues, Derek’s father took him under his wing and taught him. Derek’s father, Jamie, was the king’s best friend and commander of his armies. Naturally, Derek and Cianan became friends, the only friend he had honestly.”

She was silent, looking up at the trees, then turned towards me. “I’ve said too much. It may not seem like it, but the king is very… private.”

“Then how do you know all of this?”

“I was always serving. I heard conversations and walked in on things I never should have. But I could see you were troubled, and I wanted to help. Please don’t tell him I told you. God knows what he’ll do to me.”

“I won’t tell him.” I promised her, placing my hand on her shoulder. “I am glad you told me. It makes a little more sense why he acts the way he does, but something is still missing. Why does he treat me the way that he does?”

“It could be a coping mechanism. So many responsibilities at such a young age. It can take a toll on relationships.” She shrugged her shoulders, unable to answer my questions.

“Thank you for walking with me, Angie. You’re a good friend.” She blushed. You were not supposed to become close with your servants, but I couldn’t help it. Angie was nothing but sweet and kind. “You think of me as a friend?” She inquired.

“Of course, I do. You’re the only one who takes the time to get to know me and talk with me. It can get lonely when the king ignores you all the time and fights with you.”

“You’ll warm up to him. Having a wife is new to him. I mean, yeah he’s been with girls before, but they were just for stress relief. It never meant anything to him. Give it time.” She takes my hands and smiles at me. “I’m always here if you need me.”

“Did you say he’s been with other girls?"

“Oh, so now you’re the jealous type, are you?” She said jokingly.

I couldn’t help but let out a small chuckle. “Why don’t we head to the kitchen? I need a late night snack. I didn’t eat much for dinner.”

“That sounds perfect.” She took my hand and guided me back to the front entrance. The breeze was cool and crisp on my face and it played through my hair. “I think a warm tea would do the trick, too. What do you think, Angie?”

“If the queen wishes it, she shall get it.” We strolled through the large wooden doors, and made our way through the halls to the kitchen.

As we entered the kitchen, he was standing there; a drink in one hand and the bottle in the other.