Before December

Chapter 18: Better if it stays that way

Lydia POV:

I changed into my swimsuit, grabbed a towel and headed downstairs. The garden was quiet, and the second I slipped into the pool, some of the tension finally began to leave my body. I swam slowly at first, letting the cool water clear my head. For the first few lengths, I concentrated on nothing but breathing. In. Out. Turn. Push away. It was easier than thinking.

Thinking led straight back to Theo.

His bruised face. The argument in the car. The way he’d snapped at me for distracting him. The sickening jolt when the car had lurched. And then the silence afterwards.

I pushed harder through the water as though I could somehow leave all of it behind at the other end of the pool. It didn’t work, but after a few more lengths, I was too tired to keep replaying the same conversation word for word.

I stopped at the edge and rested my arms along the side.

“Room for one more?”

I looked over my shoulder. James stood beside the pool with a towel slung over one shoulder.

“Depends.”

“On?”

“Whether you’re planning on irritating me.”

He laughed. “I’ll do my best.”

“Then sure.”

He dropped his towel onto one of the chairs and climbed in. For a while, we didn’t talk about anything important, which was exactly what I needed. James told me about some ridiculous thing Sean had done at a party months ago involving a garden gate, a stolen traffic cone and a very angry neighbor. By the time he got to the part where Sean had apparently tried to convince everyone the traffic cone had “followed him home,” I was laughing hard enough that I had to hold onto the side of the pool.

“You’re making that up.”

“I swear I’m not.”

“No one is that stupid.”

“You’ve met Sean.”

“Fair point.”

James grinned and splashed a little water in my direction with one hand. I moved out of range before he could do it again.

“Please tell me that's the worst thing he’s done.”

“Not even close.”

“That’s concerning.”

“You get used to him.”

“I’m not sure I want to.”

James laughed, and I found myself smiling again. Being around him was easy. There was no constant battle of wills. No wondering whether something I said would turn into an argument five seconds later. I could say something stupid and he laughed. He could tease me and I didn’t immediately feel the need to defend myself. It felt normal. I’d almost forgotten what normal felt like.

“So,” James said, pushing away from the wall, “what did you think of town?”

“I liked it.”

His eyebrows lifted.

“Don’t look so shocked.”

“You’ve spent most of the week acting like England personally offended you.”

“I have not.”

“You complained about the roads.”

“They’re too narrow.”

“The weather.”

“It changes every five minutes.”

“The coffee.”

“I found good coffee today, actually.”

James grinned. “Progress.”

I rolled my eyes. “The town was cute. Different, but cute.”

“High praise.”

“I even liked the old buildings.”

“Careful, Lyd. You’ll be applying for British citizenship next.”

“Let’s not get carried away.”

He laughed.

I floated onto my back and stared up at the sky. The strange thing was, I really had enjoyed myself. Before everything went wrong, anyway. Walking around town with Theo had actually been fun. That was annoying enough on its own.

James glanced at me. “You alright?”

“Fine.”

He smiled. “That sounded convincing.”

“Don’t start.”

“I wasn’t.”

“You were thinking about it.”

He lifted both hands in surrender. “Alright. I’ll behave.”

“Good.”

He lasted about five seconds. “So what happened with Theo?”

“How did you know something happened with Theo?”

“He came home looking rough, and you came home looking like you wanted to murder him.”

“Sounds about right.”

James rested his arms along the edge of the pool.

“He won’t tell me what happened.”

“Join the club.”

I moved through the water until my back rested against the opposite side.

“He disappeared while I was at the gallery, then turned up looking like that. I asked what happened, and apparently that was too much information to expect.”

James gave a short laugh. “Yeah. Sounds like Theo.”

“One minute he’s horrible to me. Then he acts like nothing happened. Then he’s actually decent for five minutes before turning into an asshole again.”

James dragged one hand through the water. “Just don’t take him too seriously.”

I frowned. “What does that mean?”

He shrugged. “Theo does what Theo wants. You said it yourself. He can be alright one minute and an absolute d**k the next.”

“Can’t argue with that.”

“Exactly.”

“That’s your warning?”

“Pretty much.”

I stared at him. “Very informative.”

He gave a short laugh, but there wasn’t much humour in it. “I’m just saying don’t expect too much from him.”

That made me pause. “Why would I?”

James looked away.

The whole Lacey situation resurfaced in my mind. Theo had told me he’d slept with her. Grace had made it sound more complicated than that, and James clearly still hated whatever had happened. None of it added up.

“Is this about Lacey?”

His gave me a quizzical look. “How do you—” He stopped himself. “You know what? Never mind. Partly.”

“And the rest?”

“Not getting into it.”

“Convenient.”

“Lyd.”

“What?”

“I mean it.”

I studied him for a second, but it was obvious I wasn’t getting anything else out of him. Apparently being vague ran in the family.

I rested my arms along the edge of the pool. “Can I ask you something?”

James gave me a wary look. “That depends.”

“Why were you so weird after I kissed Theo last night?”

James hesitated. “I wasn’t weird.”

“You definitely were.”

“I was surprised.”

“That’s not how it looked.”

James pushed a hand through the water. “You could’ve picked literally anyone there.”

“It was a dare.”

“I know.”

“Then why did it bother you?”

He was quiet for a moment. “It didn’t.”

“James.”

He sighed. “You spent half the night telling me how much he annoys you, then you kissed him. It was a little confusing.”

“He saved me from nearly kissing Jake.”

James paused. “Okay. I suppose that’s one thing I can thank him for.”

“Exactly.”

“But still.”

I frowned. “Still what?”

He dragged his fingers through the water. “I just don’t want you getting hurt.”

“By Theo?” I stared at him. “It was one kiss.”

“Probably better if it stays that way.”

“That sounds incredibly dramatic.”

“Probably.”

“You’re not going to explain, are you?”

“Nope.”

“Must be a family trait.”

That got the smallest smile out of him.

Then he pushed away from the wall. “Come on. Race you to the other end.”

“Changing the subject?”

“Absolutely.”

Before I could answer, he took off.

“Cheat!”

I pushed away from the side and swam after him. He reached the opposite end first and threw both arms into the air like he’d just won an Olympic medal.

“I wasn’t ready!”

“Excuses.”

“You cheated.”

“Still won.”

I splashed him.

He splashed me back.

Within seconds, whatever seriousness had settled between us disappeared beneath another stupid water fight. By the time we eventually stopped, I was breathless from laughing.

James climbed out first and grabbed his towel. “You hungry?”

“Always.”

“Celeste made brownies earlier.”

My eyes widened. “Why didn’t you lead with that?”

He laughed. “Come on.”

He headed towards the house while I stayed in the pool for another minute.

The garden had gone quiet again.

James’s words replayed in my head.

I just don’t want you getting hurt.

I looked towards the house. Theo’s bedroom window was visible from the pool, the curtains open but the room beyond them empty.

I frowned at myself and looked away.

Theo Henderson was exhausting.

Apparently, he didn’t even need to be in the room anymore to occupy far too much of my attention.