Loving Alina

'Owen!'

6. OWEN

The football was on the telly and I sat in front of it trying to enjoy the game. It was nearly half time and Liverpool were winning 1 - 0 against Newcastle. Usually I’d be at the pub with the lads, but Callie was experiencing severe morning sickness and didn’t want to be left alone. Well, she said she was, but she wasn’t actually physically sick. I know nothing about pregnancy, but apparently this can happen. I just try to support her as best I can. I want to be a good Dad and set a good example.

‘Owen! Owen! Lover can you bring me another glass of water please?’ she called from the bedroom. I got up, legged it to the kitchen, filled a glass and took it to her. She was sitting up in bed on her phone. I put the glass on the bedside table. ‘Here you are’ I said before running back out lest I missed anymore of the game. ‘Owen!’ she shouted before I was even out of the room. What now?! I've been running around after her all morning. ‘Yes?’ I replied trying to sound attentive and caring when all I wanted was to get back to the football. ‘You didn’t even ask me how I am?’ she said indignantly. I. I what? Oh god, she was starting to cry. ‘You don’t care about me at all, do you? Or our baby’ she wailed. Big wet tears slid down her face. This girl could cry at the drop of a hat. I looked around desperately, I'm not sure what I was hoping to find. Maybe I was hopeful someone else would be here who could offer some kind of help. I wasn't used to dealing with someone quite as emotional as Callie. I sat next to her and smoothed her hair. ‘Callie, love, of course I care. I’m here aren’t I?’ I said trying to reassure her. She took a few short sobby breaths ‘Yes, but you don’t actually care. Or you’d ASK’. I held my head in my hands for a second. Its ok. Stay calm. How was this my life?

‘Ok. What can I do to help make you feel better?’ I asked. She sniffed but offered a little smile. ‘Would you massage my feet please?’ she asked sweetly. ‘They’re so sore. I think they’re starting to swell already and its so important I don’t let them get swollen’. Massage her feet?! Right. A cheer erupted from the TV in the living room and I knew I had missed another goal. I tried not to be annoyed and assumed the position to massage Callies feet for her. Callie snuggled back in to her pillows and resumed whatever she was doing on her phone. When the phone rang, she answered it and proceeded to have a half-hour conversation with I don't know who. I learned more than I ever wanted to know about someone called Elaine who was dating someone called Simon who we apparently don't think is good enough for her. Every now and then Callie would give me pointers about how much pressure to use and I think she was enjoying having her friend know she was being looked after.

When news broke that Lin and I had split, it was tough. I was not prepared for the break-up, let alone the backlash. It all happened very quickly. People loved Lin and I was rightly subject to some very harsh words and looks which were only just starting to subside a little. I don't blame people, but they don't understand the full circumstances either.

I never wanted to hurt Lin. I still saw the look on her face in my mind when she found out what had been going on. She really didn't have a clue. She was so trusting. She never should have found out like that though. I was livid with Callie for forcing it to happen that way. The memory of Lin still trying to comfort me broke my heart. She was such a good person. She always saw the best in people. ‘Oh well. She needed to be told Owen’ Callie had callously said when we’d argued about it. I don’t actually remember asking Callie to move in, but it just kind of happened.

The affair between us started at the office Christmas party. Lin chose not to go and, in hindsight, Callie pounced in her absence. I knew Callie had a thing for me. She made it so damn obvious and threw herself at me at any given opportunity. Add a free bar in to the mix and the fact that s*x with Lin had got a bit stale and, well, I was f*****g her against the wall outside the back of the venue. She was a damn good shag. A noisy one too. Callie would behave in a way my timid, shy Lin never would. It was exciting. It was just meant to be some good s*x, but once Callie got her claws in, I recognise now I was done for. I tried breaking it off but she always found a way back to me and I couldn't resist. She walked into my office one day, opened her coat in front of me and was completely naked underneath. Damn me, it was hot. She was standing there rubbing her p***y and shamelessly m**********g herself in my office. I defy any man not to have bent her over and f****d her on the desk. My d**k still twitched at the memory. I know it sounds daft, but once the affair had already happened and once we'd already had s*x more than once I knew it didn't really matter how many more times it happened. The damage was already done. I was already a cheater. I did think better of myself and never thought I'd be this person. I am ashamed, but there is nothing I can do about it now. I'm trying to make the best of things.

The thing is though, I miss Lin. I miss her beautiful face in the morning, her limitless kindness, the thoughtful lunches she used to make for me, how excited she’d get making plans for us and our future. I thought we’d be married forever and I can’t quite believe I’m now living in mine and Lins home with another woman. She probably hates me, but I had to do right by the child I’d created. I’d made my bed, so to speak.