30. **ALINA**
Time passed and I lost myself living life at Breconrae. I would walk in the mornings and often stopped for a freezing cold swim in the river nearby. It was so cold it hurt, but I welcomed the pain as a distraction to the mental torture I often still suffered. I would run back to the estate to warm up and then shower and read for a while before working in the gardens. I couldn’t run the whole way without stopping, but I was working on it. I’d have breakfast on my own in my rooms. I’d sit and have lunch with Agatha and Grace in the garden and I’d often be brought dinner to my accommodation. Agatha had invited me to join the family in the manor house for dinner a few times, but I never joined them. Jack and I still read together nearly every day and Fraiser and I mostly worked
