CHAPTER 4- COLLISIONS.
1290 Words
Lila’s POV
Monday hit like a storm.
Not because anything bad happened. But because everything felt the same—and I didn’t.
The halls of Evergreen High buzzed with the usual noise: sneakers squeaking on linoleum, lockers slamming, the low hum of teenage gossip floating between bells. But I moved through it like a ghost.
I hadn’t slept. Not really.
Jake’s message from the night before kept replaying in my mind:
“Maybe happiness doesn’t have to be earned.”
What if he was right?
But what if he was wrong, and I ruined everything?
***
First period – Advanced Chemistry
“Lila, earth to Lila,” Mr. Becker snapped his fingers in front of my face. “Care to explain ionic bonding?”
Heat rose to my cheeks. “Um…”
Before I could guess, someone whispered behind me:
“It’s okay. Even straight-A girls can crash.”
I didn’t need to look to know it was Tina. She’d been waiting for me to slip.
I mumbled a quick answer, got half of it right, and sat down. My hands trembled beneath the desk. Not because of her—but because she was saying what I feared.
That I was slipping.
Not academically. Emotionally. Spiritually.
And it all started with Jake Carter.
Lunch — The Group Table
The Café Crew saved our usual spot under the elm tree. Zayn strummed his guitar softly, Dani sketched Maya’s braids, and Jake… sat with his back to the sun, hoodie pulled over his head, as if hiding from the world.
When I walked up, he looked up.
Eyes locked.
He smiled—but small, like he wasn’t sure if he was allowed to.
“Rough day?” he asked.
I shrugged. “You ever feel like you’re two people? The one everyone sees, and the one screaming in your head?”
Jake looked away for a moment. “Every damn day.”
That was the thing with Jake. He didn’t sugarcoat. He didn’t talk in i********: captions or fake deep quotes. He said what he meant.
And that made it dangerous.
Because I started to believe he meant me, too.
---
After School – The Moment It Broke
I didn’t plan to ride with Jake.
But the rain came, and the buses delayed, and his motorcycle helmet sat in his hand like a dare.
“Come on,” he said. “I’ll drive slow.”
I hesitated. Then climbed on.
The city blurred. Raindrops stung like needles. But wrapped around Jake, hands clutched to his jacket, I felt free.
He pulled up at a quiet coffee shop two blocks from school. We were soaked, but we laughed like it didn’t matter.
Inside, we ordered cocoa and sat by the fogged-up window. Silence stretched, warm and strange.
Then Jake said, “You ever wonder what it would feel like to just… let go?”
I stared into my cup. “I think about it too much.”
He leaned closer. “Then maybe you already are.”
I didn’t know what made me do it—maybe the rain, maybe the storm inside me—but I whispered:
“Jake… I’m scared.”
He reached across the table and touched my hand.
“I’m scared too.”
For a moment, we didn’t say anything. His thumb brushed mine. My breath caught.
It wasn’t a kiss.
But it was closer than any rule I’d ever broken.
---
Back Home – Consequences
I crept into the house quietly. Mama looked up from the dining table. She didn’t smile.
“You’re late,” she said.
I nodded, stripping off my jacket. “The rain…”
She studied me. “You’re changing.”
My heart pounded. “Is that… a bad thing?”
She didn’t answer right away. Then said softly, “Just don’t lose yourself trying to find something that was never meant for you.”
I didn’t sleep that night.
Because what if Jake was exactly what wasn’t “meant” for me?
And what if I didn’t care?
---
The house was too quiet after Mama's words. I sat on the edge of my bed, damp clothes now replaced with pajamas, hair still smelling faintly of rain and coffee.
I opened my journal. The one with the navy-blue cover and dog-eared pages no one knew I still used.
"You’re changing.”
Her voice echoed again.
Was it that obvious?
Or had I just been pretending for so long, that the real me was always one step from breaking free?
---
Later That Night – The Text Thread
Jake Carter:You okay?
Me:Yeah. Just thinking.
Jake Carter:Dangerous hobby.
Me:I told you I was scared. That wasn’t for drama. I meant it.
Jake Carter:I know. That’s why it mattered.
I stared at the screen, thumb hovering over the keyboard.
Me:What happens if this goes wrong?
Jake Carter:Then it goes wrong. But at least it was real.
I didn’t reply. I just put my phone down and stared at the ceiling.
Maybe I wasn’t scared of Jake.
Maybe I was scared of what he saw in me.
---
The Next Day – School Halls
Word had gotten around.
I didn’t know how. I didn’t know who.
But by second period, Tina made a point of walking past me and muttering loud enough for others to hear:
“Figures. First the nerd title, then the bad boy. Pick a lane.”
I didn’t flinch. I didn’t blink.
Because this was what I’d feared. Not Jake. Not myself. But them—the people who thought they knew who I was.
I pushed through the day, but I wasn’t invisible anymore.
I was something worse: interesting.
***
After Class – The Collision
I found Jake sitting alone in the back field, camera in his lap.
“Why aren’t you in detention?” I asked, teasing.
He grinned. “Slipped away before they remembered I exist.”
I sat beside him on the grass. Damp. Cold. It didn’t matter.
“What are you doing out here?”
“Waiting to see what the sky does when it’s angry.”
I looked up. The clouds were darkening again. Another storm brewing.
He held the camera up and pointed it at me.
“Don’t,” I said quickly.
“I won’t take it,” he said. “Just framing.”
But the way he looked through the lens…
It felt like being known.
“Why me?” I asked suddenly. “You don’t even like people.”
He smirked. “I don’t like most people. You’re... different.”
I looked away. “Everyone says that.”
“Yeah, but I mean it like it’s a problem.”
That made me laugh. A real one.
He set the camera down. “Can I tell you something?”
I nodded.
“When I first met you… I thought, ‘There she is. The kind of girl who never breaks the rules.’”
“And now?”
He looked at me—really looked.
“Now I know you’re just better at hiding your fire.”
Silence again. But this one wasn’t awkward.
It was a beginning.
---
That Night – Reflection
At home, I told Mama I had a group project. She nodded.
But as I climbed into bed, I wondered:
Am I becoming someone she wouldn’t recognize?
Or finally becoming someone I do?
Jake hadn’t kissed me. Not yet.
But something about our words, the air between us—it felt louder than a kiss ever could be.
And for the first time in forever, I didn’t want to run from it.
I just wasn’t sure where it would take me.
But maybe… that was okay.
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