Female Alpha's Choice

Just for being you

Darcie

As I entered the girl’s bathroom at the gym, I placed my palm to my cheek that James’ had stroked his finger down a moment ago. There were no mate tingles that my mother had told me about, but I still felt exactly where it had been. Celeste had growled lowly when he’d touched me like that; we both knew it wasn’t the normal friendly touches we share. This touch had had a depth to it, a new kind of feeling that made me nervous. I sighed and reminded Celeste of my recent decision “I told you, if we don’t find our mate soon he may be our chosen mate. You can’t dislike his touch that much surely? I thought you and Laris were on good terms?” Though our wolves hadn’t seen each other’s physical forms yet they had begun to form a relationship mentally; preparing for when they would be a team of Alpha and Beta. That was how we could still identify our mates, our wolves were very present mentally and spiritually. “Yes, we are on excellent terms and that’s why we both agree on waiting for our fated mates. I wish you would stop even considering this option. I have a feeling our mate will be with us soon anyway.” She was quite smug by the end of her rant. I sighed, removing my sweaty clothing and stepping into the showers. I considered what she said as I washed my hair and body. Our mate might be with us soon but…what if he wasn’t strong enough to help me rule the pack? What if he was too prideful and stubborn to have a female Alpha as his mate?

“Celeste…I cant be selfish in this. I respect your wishes too, but we need to think of all the possible issues and have plans in case our mate isn’t suitable for us and the pack. We have to take the pack into consideration, it is part of being Alpha.” Celeste didn’t reply for a while; I wasn’t sure if she was too mad at me or if she was considering what I had said. I stepped out of the shower and got dressed. I was looking at myself, fixing my hair in the mirror when my eyes flashed to gold and Celeste looked through me, replying, “I respect you too Darcie and, as much as I only want our mate, I will always put you and the pack first.”  

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“Darcie! Where do you think you are going? You haven’t eaten anything!” My mother, and Luna to the pack, was not the picture of grace that she usually was this morning. Her eyes scanned me, seeing my clothes in slight disarray and my still wet hair as I tried to dash through the kitchen to my father’s office. Her face showed her annoyance. “You think you can run straight from training, into a meeting and not eat? How are you going to be strong enough to lead if you can’t fuel your body properly?” “Mama,” I started to argue, but it was cut short. “Don’t you mama at me young lady. I’ve already prepared food for you and you can take it with you if you’re in that much of a rush. You can take your fathers food too, he forgot to eat also.” She huffed out her exasperation. No wonder she was annoyed, I laughed internally. My dad and I were very similar in personality and I knew it drove her crazy sometimes. I forced myself to sit patiently on kitchen stool while my mother packed up some breakfast and greeted the omegas as they moved around the giant benches. My mother was the picture perfect Luna and I was lucky to have her as my mama. She was always trying to feed everyone and helped out wherever she could. She could be stern too, but I felt that my father and I got the most of that side of her. My father and her were fated mates and the love I saw between them daily was a big reason I wanted to hold out a bit longer for my fated mate. “If you weren’t Alpha you’d hold out for much longer” I internally chided myself. Celeste snickered at my inner battle, agreeing with the statement.

“Your meeting with your father isn’t for another 20 minutes my love, why are you rushing?” My mother had calmed now, seeing as I was accepting her food willingly. “I want to talk to him about something before the rest of the leaders come in.” My mother just nodded. Since I turned 16 and started my proper Alpha training my mother never pried into my business, which I appreciated a lot. I think she was trying to give me more space to be a future Alpha. I often felt it would be hard for her; having a teenager daughter but not being able to share all the girly stuff like they did in movies. Sometimes I wished we could be closer like we were before I got my wolf, but now my days were full of training and learning and keeping pack secrets. She placed a bag of food in front of me, bringing me back to reality. “Well go my future Alpha, tell your father I love him and he is in big trouble for not eating also.” Her eyes twinkled with humor and I smiled at her. “I love you mama. Thanks for this, I’ll see you later.” I kissed her cheek as I left for my fathers’ office.

I could feel some anxiety climbing as I reached the corridor to his office. I wasn’t sure how he’d react to this conversation, but it had to happen. I knew it would ease my mind to at least have it out between us.  I paused outside his doorway, taking a deep breath before I raised my hand to knock but he beat me to it. “Darcie, why are you stalling? Come in.” I straightened up before walking in, surprised his senses were so accurate. “Is everything ok?” My father asked, his hazel eyes showing his concern.

My father, Alpha Dylan, is a big, scary looking Alpha. I inherited my dark blonde hair from him but that’s where the physical similarities end. He has piercing hazel eyes that shine out of deep-set brows. He has the jawline male models would kill for and he’s a huge 6 foot 5 inches. Despite his towering frame, he’s a pushover when it comes to his Luna and his future Alpha daughter. I nodded as I shut the door and noticed his eyes travel to the packed food I had brought in. He grinned, knowing who was behind it. “How mad was your mother that I skipped breakfast?” We both laughed. “As long as you eat some now she’ll be over it by lunchtime,” I started to unpack the food and sat on the opposite side of his desk. We sat comfortable in silence for a moment, enjoying the breakfast. My mother had made my favorite toasted PB&J sandwich and I almost moaned taking the first bite.

“So why are you here early Dar? I’m assuming you have something to discuss before the meeting?” I swallowed my bite slowly, wondering how to begin. “Father, I’ve been thinking about when I take over the Alpha title and I want your opinion on something.” He raised an eyebrow, hearing my anxiety at broaching the subject. I took a shaky breath and dived right in. “Do you want me to have a mate before the ceremony? Are you worried about the pack accepting me alone?” His face went through a few different emotions and I only recognised them from knowing him so well. Shock, anger, concern and then a slight tinge of sadness before his eyes settled on mine with determination. “Dar, you are the rightful heir to the title and our pack will accept that whether they like it or not. But,” he sighed and moved his hand through his hair, “I will not lie to you. I think you being mated would make the process slightly easier.” Even though I had suspected this, it didn’t stop me from feeling hurt. Hearing my own father admit it really twisted the knife of betrayal I was feeling. “Darcie, look at me,” my father commanded, “I said it will make it easier, it is not a necessity. I want you to be happy above all my love and you will be Alpha. I won’t allow it to be any other way.” His words made me feel better, but I kept my face blank. I still wanted to impress him and show him I was most definitely deserving of leading the pack.  “Thank you, Alpha.” I smiled a little, “I hope this festival you’re throwing finally deliver my mate, as I’m sure you’re also planning.” He blushed a little, knowing I had caught onto his scheming. “However,” I continued, “I have a plan of my own and I want your advice on it.” He sat silently as I explained that I would wait as long as possible for my mate, but if they weren’t found I would ask James to be my chosen mate before the ceremony. I waited nervously for his response as he took his time considering my plan.

“My love, you know I love James, almost like a son, and he would indeed be a good mate, but fated mates are a gift from the Goddess herself. You see your mother and I, the happiness we give each other, the strength we have from being together; I want that for you. However,” he paused and sighed heavily, “you are going to be Alpha and you need to make this decision for your own life. I trust you.” He smiled as he said that and I tried to stop my eyes from watering from the sea of emotions I felt at his words. Alphas shouldn’t cry so easily. “One last thing to consider though,” he said, “put aside what people think and put aside mates altogether. Don’t you want the pack to accept you regardless, just for being you?”

His words woke something up inside me and Celeste barked a resounding yes in my mind. I did want that. I wanted to be accepted regardless of being a female, regardless of being mateless. I wanted my strength seen and appreciated. I yearned my packs respect without it being forced. I looked up at my father and he saw the determination glint in my eyes. I nodded, I would have to reconsider what I truly wanted for myself and alter my plans. My father laughed quietly, “That’s my girl. Let’s get ready for this meeting.”